Caught by Mother, Big Sister Cuts the Cord- A Home Birth Story

 Love this story so much!  I can not believe they have pictures of mama catching her baby!  So incredible!!!  And big sister getting to cut the cord!  A wonderful story for those adding children to their family on how home birth can make that transition better.

Enjoy!

You can check out the website of the fabulous photographer here.   

 

~

 A bit before 5 in the morning I woke up to some crampy contractions. After about a half hour I couldn't ignore them or lie down any longer, so I got up and puttered around the house between contractions. They weren't strong enough to warrant waking Jonathan, so I let him sleep.

I threw in some more loads of laundry, and asked this child to wait since Isaac and Melissa were sick the day before. Neither of them is adept at making it to the bathroom in time nor capable of using a bowl- so I did a lot of laundry. Despite my concerns, the contractions picked up in strength and got closer together.

I called our midwife, Robin, about 6:30 am to let her know that something was possibly happening and we might be having a baby that day. At seven o'clock Matthew got up to go to school, and when Matthew gets up, everyone wakes up. Isaac and Melissa had both thrown up at least once the night without our knowledge, so I bathed the kids while Jonathan got out the carpet cleaner and washed some more laundry. At this point my contractions petered out.

Melissa was very pleased at the prospect of staying home from school. She wasn't running a fever and was positively chipper. In fact, despite being so sick the day (and night) before, she didn't have any more symptoms of being ill. Isaac, on the other hand, still looked the worse for wear. Fortunately his stomach settled down.

We launched Matthew to school at a quarter to eight and settled the other children on the couch with a movie and fluids. Robin called to see if anything was happening. "Things seem to have petered out and pretty much stopped." I had a few piddly contractions or perhaps they were Braxton Hicks with oomph, but nothing to get excited about. "Well, how about I come by to check on you?" We had a scheduled prenatal for the following day, so worse case scenario I'd have a prenatal checkup a day early.

Robin arrived about 9. All of the vitals looked good, baby sounded great, and my cervix was at 4 centimeters and "mushy." Robin relayed some stories of women who'd gone into labor only to have it stop and resume another day. "Call me if things pick up again. I have a prenatal appointment way out in Seguin later today, but I don't want to leave town if you go into labor." It's a deal. I said goodbye to Robin and decided to take a nap since I'd been up with sick kids the night before and with contractions in the early morning. Jonathan originally planned to go to Austin that day, but decided he should stay nearby and work from home, just in case.

I took a lovely nap and woke up feeling refreshed. Isaac and Melissa were still watching movies on the couch and downing juice and bananas. Jonathan worked beside them. While they were preoccupied, I straightened up the house and got to work on dinner. Chicken noodle soup with whole wheat bread seemed appropriate under the circumstances. Jonathan put Isaac down for his nap, and it was then that the contractions hit.

It was about 12:30. Jonathan brought me the large exercise ball. That ball was heavenly since standing was a bit too intense during a contraction. It wasn't very long before I noticed how distracted I was even after the contractions. I'd open the pantry door only to forget what it was I was I needed. Jonathan must have noticed too. He helped me chop vegetables to speed up dinner preparation. Sometime after 1 pm the midwife called and he let her know that this was it. I still wasn't convinced. However, I did take the chocolate cake I'd made the previous Sunday out of the freezer, just in case. Probably a half hour later he wanted to call again. "Rachel, they are getting a lot closer. I think we should let Robin know!" "Are you sure?" He was timing them, not me, and I was afraid it was still much ado about nothing. I think I was in some serious denial at that point.

Jonathan called the midwife. For my benefit he relayed my message that I didn't want to be a "watched pot," and that "it wasn't an emergency," but Robin must have sensed the urgency in his voice because she decided to come. "I can just be in another room if Rachel prefers." About twenty minutes later I was convinced too, and asked Jonathan to call Kathi who'd offered to watch the kids for us. When talking to Kathi, I noticed he seemed a bit flustered--he gave her the old gate code. I told him and then laughed as he looked at me sheepishly. "Is the midwife coming?" Jonathan assured me that she was on her way.

First to arrive was Kathi. She's a gentle, grandmotherly lady in our ward and the kids adore her. Next came Joi, the assistant midwife, and finally Robin and her apprentice, Heather, arrived sometime around 2:30. (My times are not precise- I was a bit preoccupied!) Dinner was ready, but I stayed in the kitchen swaying my hips on my ball. At some point I decided I needed to move upstairs with my friend, the ball. The midwives were all set up with their supplies in the bedroom when I arrived.

Jonathan called Gwen, our photographer, and she arrived a little after 3.

I spent more time laboring on the ball and then in the tub. The water didn't help as much as I would have liked, so I got back on my ball.

For this labor what I needed most was the light embrace or touch of my friend, companion, and lover.  Unlike other births I didn't feel the need for massage or counter-pressure; I just needed him- and he was there.

Contractions

It helped to make soft "Ah" sounds during the peak of the contractions, so that is what I did!

Jonathan labored with me the most, but every once in a while he needed to heed the call of nature or of the wild (Isaac). Robin filled in for him beautifully while he was gone.

Joi was a hoot. Anyone who can turn the topic of postpartum belly binding into a comedy routine is golden.  Here she is on the right with Heather on the left.

Melissa wandered in and out periodically. She had so many things to discuss and questions galore. "Umbilical is a funny word huh? I used to say bilical, but that's not right. UM-bilical. What's this for? Do you like origami?" She was a welcome distraction. You can't get too serious or grumpy with a happy six year old in the room.

Matthew came home from school at about 3:20. He peeked his head in and I told him that his baby sister was coming today. Satisfied that all was well, he went back downstairs to play computer games. 

 

That ball and I were on good terms.  At some point I remember sighing, "I suppose I'll have to get off when it is time to push."  The midwives chuckled, "Not necessarily.  We had one lady who just rolled forward and we caught while she was still on the ball."  She pantomimed how it was done and I couldn't help but laugh at the picture in my mind of a large pregnant woman in that position.  Whatever works!

Checking the baby's heart rate

Robin checked about every 20-30 minutes, and more frequently toward the end.  She sounded great throughout the labor.

A few times I grumbled that this was not the day she was supposed to come.  I wanted her to wait since Melissa and Isaac had been sick and I had it in my head that she would be a few days "late" anyway.  I was banking on a June baby, not May.  Robin told me I needed to open my heart and allow her to come.  She was ready and I needed to welcome her.  Of course she was right, and I didn't argue out loud or in my head again.  Instead, I changed my attitude to welcome this new little soul and even spoke to her and told her she could come into our home. 

This picture was taken after we found out I was at 8 centimeters with a "bulging bag."  As always, Robin was respectful and asked first if I wanted her to check the progress and then asked if I wanted to know the dilation.  I told Robin flat out that I did NOT want to know if it was still a 4 or thereabouts like the morning prenatal. I would have been quite grumpy if still a 4, in fact.  She said with a grin, "nope, try twice that." Now that is reason to smile.

 At about this point my legs were a bit shaky during the contractions and they took *all* of my focus.   They were very intense and I felt a deep aching that would grow, peak, and subside.  However, between contractions I felt great!  During the breaks I sipped water and chatted.  The labor was gentle and the contractions never got too close or to the point where I felt like I could not ride on top of them.  I just focused on relaxing my body and muscles so that it could do the necessary work as efficiently as possible.  

This is 15 minutes before Corinna was born.  It was hard work (and it wasn't pain-free), but I laughed her out.  

Shortly after the contractions picked up in intensity, Joi suggested that I might want to try to empty my bladder since that may act as a barrier for the baby's head. That sounded like an excellent suggestion so I made a dash to the bathroom. Since the midwife had said earlier that the bag was bulging I also wondered if a little push would break it, because I was feeling DONE.

A small push was all it took; the membranes broke, and the water gushed into the toilet. It was nice and clear with flakes of vernix.  Then the nausea hit.  Joi was prepared with wastepaper basket.  I wasn't bothered though since I was expecting it (I've thrown up in my previous labors too), and it meant that the baby was coming very, very soon.

I waited for a contraction to come, stood up and PUSHED. I could feel her head moving down. Instinctively I reached down and cupped my hand to receive her.  I felt her head swell and grow into the palm of my hand.  Incredible!  The contraction ended, but the pressure was too much and I pushed some more. Paused. Another contraction came on the heels of the last, her head crowned, and then was out! Still there was a great deal of pressure and I was momentarily baffled. Melissa and Isaac were born with one good push, but I had to push again to get her generous shoulders and chest out. I thought for sure I had torn since this was the first time I ever felt that "ring of fire." To me it was more like a ring of stinging- but I was wrong. No tears! The whole "pushing stage" took a total of 2 minutes.  She was fairly quick.

Pushing

Here's her head!

She's out!
I looked down and saw her for the first time.

A feeling of awe and amazement came over me as I held and gazed at her.  The labor resulted in such a wondrous reward!

She was caught by Jonathan, Robin, and me.

The time was 4:24, on Friday afternoon.  From the time the contractions resumed till birth was about 4 hours. 

We let the kids know that their little sister was on the scene. Kathi brought Matthew and Isaac upstairs. (Unbeknownst to me, Melissa had slipped into the room as Corinna was being born.)  Kathi exclaimed, "I can't believe you've already had the baby! I didn't hear any screams or anything!" Corinna had a pretty peaceful birth. The midwives said that neither she nor I had to work too hard. I still thought it was definitely work!

Kathi with the kids meeting Corinna- just a few minutes after birth

Post-baby bliss

Big sister Melissa

And big brother Matthew

Melissa cuts the cord.  She finally got the little sister she'd been wanting!

First time in Daddy's arms.

Checking out all the parts

Nursing

Placenta lesson!

8lbs 4oz!

We celebrated with a chocolate birthday cake

Matthew holding his sister for the first time. When he held her he sighed, "I love this baby." Melissa and Isaac really wanted to hold Corinna too, but under the circumstances we felt they should wait a while longer till we were sure they were completely better.

Sucking her thumb. She isn't content unless she's sucking something. I think she must have had lots of practice in utero.

Checking out little sis

The whole family

THE END

Postpartum Recovery- The Good, The Blood, & The Ugly

(Disclaimer- You are not allowed to read this post if you are "on the fence" about having children.  This is only intended for those for which it is everlastingly too late, and so, need this information.)

In some areas of life I am, pure and simple, an optimist.

I always assume that things will go swimmingly well for me.  I notice those in the same situation who seem just great, and I of course "know" that I will be the same way.

For instance, before I had a child I remember my friend Donna having a baby.  She was back at church driving a mini van in what seemed like a week.  "Natural birth!  You recover so fast,"  she quipped.  I would be just like that, I thought.

I was wrong.  I was wrong about taking my skinny jeans with me to wear home from the hospital, I was wrong about my baby never crying (because I would have breasts and a sling, DUH) and I was wrong about postpartum recovery.

Some of this innocence is due to my idiotic optimism about the realities of life, but some of it is due also to the way we still continue to ignore some of these things in American culture.

Women are often expected to be back at work full time within about six weeks of giving birth.  Movie stars (who had twins no less) are back in their evening gowns and strutting down the red carpet in the same period of time.

It looks so easy!  Their hair is perfect!  Their tummy is flat!  No bags under their eyes!

It is a lie.  Well, at least it is for me.

In fact, I think this unrealistic expectation sets women and their partners up for some serious disappointment in themselves and each other (no hubby, she will probably not have her body back in a few weeks) simply because nobody ever talks about the reality of post baby life.

Well, in an effort to prepare and encourage mothers of new babies, here goes a few things that I found surprising.

1)  It is not uncommon to bleed for a few weeks (often six or so) with the first baby-

In my experience the bleeding is often less with subsequent pregnancies, but this often takes women by surprise and the first they hear of postpartum bleeding is when they are getting ready to leave the hospital.

Some tips-


Have a wide range of maxi pads on hand, starting with huge ones for the first few days and ending with pantyliners for the last few weeks of light spotting.  Nothing internal - so pads are the only way to go.


Nobody likes to buy these- but a wise midwife once recommended Depends to me!  One of the best investments I have ever made.  You can pretend you are buying them for grandma.  But the truth is, some grown up diapers are not a bad idea for the first few days, especially when you sleep.  They insure that you won't leak blood on your bed, which will minimize laundry.  Believe me, you don't need any more laundry than necessary when you have just had a baby.

Some women also like to freeze pads that have been soaked and frozen over a round bowl for relieving soreness.  Ask your midwife about ways to do this that can give you more comfort.  Sometimes comfrey tea compresses are helpful too.  

2)  Babies and mothers produce a lot of bodily fluids-

Mom will not only be losing blood, but when her milk comes in, well.....Let's just say, the female body has a tendency to overshoot a little.  Then the baby- their tummies are very small, and milk may be plentiful, and this can lead to some serious spit up.

Sleeping on an extra sheet, (I like to use a smaller flat sheet folded up underneath me) is not a bad idea.  Lots of moms find it is easier and you get more sleep if you have the baby in your room for the first few months.  If you have a sheet or towel underneath you that can be pulled off and washed in the morning it will make your life easier and your bed feel cleaner.

3)  The Peri Bottle-

The Peri bottle is an ingenious invention for spraying on your "down there" parts every time you pee.

Despite the fact that birth is beautiful and marvelous and all that jazz, babies are big and your bodily tissues will need some time to recover.  You will probably feel bruised for a while and especially if you have stitches or tearing, you will really appreciate some soothing water on your lady parts when you use the potty.  (I just said potty.  Can you tell I have four kids?)

I like to add a few drops of soothing oils and a tiny squirt of hibiclense to the Peri bottle.

And, as I have mentioned, these things are NEVER big enough.  So having two or using a larger, squeezable sports bottle is not a bad idea.  Fill them up after you use them each time to be ready for your next potty break.  The Peri bottle will be your own little bath and your best friend for a few weeks.

4)  Sex-  Umm, NO!

I realize that some women want to get right back in the saddle after they have given birth.

Frankly, I think this is crazy talk for a few reasons.  One is because it really does take about six weeks for your body to heal, your tissues to bounce back, and things to go back to normal.  The other is because even though I have had four fabulous all natural births, the last thing I want to do immediately after them is get pregnant again.  Plus- you are probably TIRED!  You are caring for an infant that needs constant care.  Your partner matters a ton, but devoting a few weeks just to the baby is not a bad thing. 

Hubby matters.  But he can either wait a little while or you can do other stuff. Other stuff that doesn't require penetration.

Moving on.

For some women, if the birth was traumatic or stitches were done a little wrong, this can take longer for everything to feel normal again.  This is not unusual, we just don't ever talk about it.

I find it really disturbing that we as a people expect women to do so little for themselves postpartum and really disrespect this important and vulnerable time.  Sure, in some countries women squat and give birth in the field and then get up and keep working.  I asked a midwife about this once.  Her response was that this only happens when women are very poor- and guess what- they die more often.

Relax.  Eat.  Drink.  Sleep.  Those four things will make you a better mother to your baby and better able to care for those around you. 

5)  Weight Loss-

I see women who by the time they are back out in public are in their regular clothes.  I thought I would be like those women.

Sadly, I am five months postpartum and still have thirty pounds more on me than I did when I got pregnant.  This kind of sucks, but it isn't that strange.

Most people probably lose about twenty pounds with the birth process (baby, water, blood, placenta, etc).  For me, the rest of it requires some time and some hard work.

Most of us don't have trainers and cooks and people helping us all the time with the baby.  This isn't an excuse to not get healthy, it is just the reality of modern middle class life.

It takes nine months to gain the weight and it will probably take that long to lose it.  So don't beat yourself up.  Also, if your partner has a hard time with the fact that you didn't bounce back as quickly as Victoria Beckham, tell him he doesn't look much like David Beckham and....where is the Ferrari?

Partners need to be patient too.  The portrayal we see of postpartum women in the media is simply not realistic.   

The Good-

I promised some good stuff, didn't I?

After all the surprising and bloody things about birth, there is good stuff.

The most important of which is that you have a baby!  Hopefully you have some time and some loved ones that will help you really devote some time to raising that baby.  Love it, cuddle it, feed it, and just focus on being a mother.  I can guarantee that you will be a better mother if you give yourself some time to heal.

Every time I decide I am "good" and jump back in too soon, I pay for it later.  On the other end of things, if you really take these few weeks to relax and heal, you will recover FASTER.

Often, people want to help.  Let them.  Ask them.  Accept some service in your life.  

Other things that I found helpful-

Prepared frozen meals in my freezer for a few weeks.  When you are cooking the last few months before baby, just make double of some things (lasagna, enchiladas, fresh mac and cheese, Shepherd's pie) and put the extra one in the freezer.

Stool softeners.  I refuse to explain this, but not necessarily a bad idea.  Your body will probably be kind to you for a little while, but mentally, they can be helpful.

Staying home.  I don't know of many other cultures that expect women to be up and around so quickly.  After my second child was born I was on a plane traveling the third day postpartum. 

Needless to say, it was awful and a nervous breakdown was part of the experience.

Anyway, I met some guys from Africa at the airport and they were horrified that I was traveling.  They said in their country, mama and baby stayed together for a solid month and rested....IN BED.

Let's start cherishing these precious weeks and we will see happier and healthier mothers and babies. 

Feed, grow, and love your baby in peace and without guilt that your aren't accomplishing anything-  You are accomplishing something fabulous, priceless in fact.  You are raising a baby.  Enjoy it.

A Natural Birth Convert- Birth Center After Hospital Induction

I don't know if I will ever get tired of birth stories.  This is an amazing one with lots of details.  It reminded me of sensations from my babies births that I had forgotten.  Empowering, painful, hard and amazing- this is all that birth can be.  I love it! 

Enjoy!

~

When you make the decision to give birth in a birthing center with a midwife and not in a hospital, people have questions. Some people are well-meaning, some kind of snarky or just downright judgmental. Some act as if you are carelessly putting your child at risk because of your hippie ideals- that anything other than a hospital birth is dangerous and life-threatening. A year ago, I probably would have been one of the judgmental ones. I didn't understand the desire to have a natural childbirth, even though I had already given birth once before. I'm ashamed to say that I called a dear friend "crazy" for not wanting an epidural. I was woefully ignorant of the entire process of birthing. With my first-born, 2 ½ year old Charlotte, I was convinced that I didn't have to actually know anything about birth- I was getting an epidural after all, and that would do all the work for me. I would be blissfully pain-free and wouldn't have to do anything- the baby would just come and I wouldn't feel it (if it only really worked out that way!)

~

When I got pregnant with Violet, I fully intended to use the same ob/gyn, the same hospital, I would still get the epidural, but this time it would work and not run out for an hour of transition and three hours of pushing. The one thing that I knew I wanted to be different was that I wouldn't allow the doc to induce early for no reason. But- I remembered the pain of the contractions before the epidural. I knew I needed some breathing or focusing techniques to get me through to the epidural. So I bought a Lamaze book. It changed everything for me! All of a sudden, reading about natural childbirth, I realized that EVERY problem I had during Charlotte's birth, every single thing I hated about the experience, was due to drugs- the induction and the epidural. Those problems followed us long after her birth when she wouldn't breastfeed. Looking forward to Violet's birth, I realized that it was necessary to avoid any unnecessary medical interventions if I wanted to have a less traumatic birth. This seemed shocking to me: I was going to have to put my body through the worst pain imaginable for it to be less traumatic. But it's true.

Charlotte was induced at exactly 39 weeks. This was done for absolutely no valid medical reason. The doctor asked if I wanted to wait to go into labor on my own or schedule a time with the hospital to have her. I was worn out with being pregnant and just didn't want to do it anymore. No one told me there were risks to an induction- that I was more likely to have a c-section, that you're forcing your body into doing something it's not ready to do, that pitocin makes for stronger contractions, that you increase the risk of distress to the baby, that you will be given drugs expressly forbidden in pregnancy. I never looked into it and agreed to the procedure.

I checked into the hospital on a Thursday morning, January 22, 2009, when they spent the day ripening my cervix with a drug called Cytotec. I found out later that Cytotec is actually quite dangerous, and has been linked to fetal and maternal death. The manufacturer says not to use it for inductions. 24 hours later, they started pitocin. The contractions were so intense that Charlotte pooped in utero, something not at all uncommon during induction. I got an epidural at 4 centimeters that wore off for the last four hours of labor. But even though I could feel everything and easily move my legs, I wasn't allowed to move off of my back to make pushing easier. I ended up pushing for three hours, before delivering via vacuum extraction. She was born at 10:03pm, they cut the cord immediately and took her from me to be suctioned for meconium. It would be almost a full 30 minutes before they gave her to me to hold for the first time. They had already done her eye antibiotic and bundled her- I didn’t get any skin to skin time with her. It became evident at the very beginning that she wasn't nursing well. She could latch very well, but couldn't suck. Bottles were the only way to go, because they dripped and didn't require work on her part. I know now that the combination of a sore throat from the suctioning for meconium, the sore head from the vacuum extraction and an immature suck-swallow reflex from being early are responsible for her poor sucking. I regret every day that I was not able to nurse her. I was going to get it right the second time.

I was 36 weeks pregnant with Violet when I panicked. I couldn't birth in that hospital again, even naturally. I had been around and around with my ob/gyn about certain policies, especially about IV fluids. The hospital does not allow women in labor to eat or drink at all, therefore they put you on IV fluids, something that can make moving around harder and can interfere with breastfeeding because you can get so waterlogged. She wouldn't hear of a heplock instead. This makes no sense to me. The rationale is that if you have to have emergency general anesthesia, you can aspirate your stomach contents. But it's rare to be generally anesthetized, and rarer that you would go under without them protecting your airway. If you were in a car accident on the way home from the buffet, they can't operate because you have a full stomach?? Anyway, my ob seemed to have difficulty understanding why I wanted what I wanted. That in combination with her inducing me with Charlotte (a highly questionable decision), the use of Cytotec, and the memories of that ward made me want something different. Something better.

I first called a home birth midwife. After our initial conversation, she said I was a good candidate, but upon reviewing my records, she had to deny me. I have Mitral Valve Prolapse, a very common, completely harmless heart “condition.” She was not comfortable with this- and I appreciate it. I don’t want someone taking chances! I did cry for days after that, though. The midwives who deliver at the hospital in Ocala would not take me so late in my pregnancy. Finally, I found The Birth Place in Orlando, who agreed to take me so late, and besides a little concern about making it in time during labor (it’s a 90 minute drive), I was overwhelmed by the staff there. It's such a comfortable environment. The midwife, Anne, reassured me over and over with her trust in the process. I was pretty sure this was something I could do. There would be no IVs, no continuous fetal monitoring, no restrictions on eating, drinking or moving around. They would delay cord cutting, and delay eye antibiotics until breastfeeding was established. There would be very few internal exams. I would be carefully monitored, the baby would be carefully monitored, and if any serious complications arose, the midwife is well trained and equipped to practice life-saving techniques before a transfer to Winnie Palmer Hospital for Women and Babies would be arranged. Birthing is not a disease. In a healthy, normal pregnancy, your body knows what to do. I find the birthing center option to be much safer than the risk of interventions in the hospital.

Violet was due on August 18. Being pregnant during the hottest summer on record (I don’t know if that’s true, but it sounds right!) is the worst. But I refused to take medical intervention to end this pregnancy. You take one thing, and before you know it, you're flat on your back in the hospital bed unable to participate in the birth of your own baby. For 14 days before I went into real labor, I had contractions every day. They would get close together every night, then disappear in the morning. They got increasingly more painful. I was getting upset at all the starting and stopping, and the contractions would very much interfere with my sleep.

On Wednesday the 24th, I was up all night with contractions that were 7-8 minutes apart. At 6am, my husband decided to call in to work, and we headed to Orlando. My sister lives 10 minutes from the birth center, so we figured that we should head there while I was still comfortable. When we got there, my contractions stopped. Fully stopped. In the afternoon, we headed to the birth center for a scheduled check-up to find I was still 1 cm. Anne sent me to Winnie Palmer for a biophysical profile since I was almost a week overdue. Then she said to head all the way home and rest. The profile showed that the placenta was in good shape, the amniotic fluid was abundant and baby was moving well. We drove home.

The very next morning, I awoke with contractions 2 minutes apart. At 3 am, off we went again to the birthing center. All the way in Orlando. Again. By the time we got there, contractions were happening less than every 10 minutes. We agreed to go to my sister's and wait it out. Jason and I agreed that we were done driving back and forth. We weren't leaving Orlando without a baby. My parents were home with Charlotte, and didn't mind keeping watch on her.

The next morning, Friday the 26th, I was in terrible pain. My bladder hurt me so badly and desperately that I could barely stand or change positions. It was constant and unrelenting, accompanied by an overwhelming urge to pee that I couldn't satisfy. I would pee, stand up and immediately feel the urge to pee again. I told Jason that the pain was so unbearable that we needed to get checked out. I called Anne and told her we were going to head back to Winnie Palmer to see if something was wrong with my bladder. We arrived at Winnie Palmer at 12:30 and waited and waited and waited in triage. There were so many people there that we had to sit in the hallway. I continued to have contractions there. At 4:30, after an hour of tracking, we discovered that contractions were 4 minutes apart and steady. I called Anne, and she said to come in. So after 4 hours of waiting, we split the hospital. I thought about how bizarre it was to be standing in front of a hospital that delivers 12,000 babies a year in full-blown labor, waiting for Jason to get the car so we could go somewhere else. Isn't it always the other way around?

We arrived at the birthing center right as another baby was being born. Anne saw us in good time, and happily told us that I was at 4 cm. Finally!!! Real labor had begun. She and Shannon, the birthing assistant, settled us in to the Van Gogh room, decorated in Starry Nights. It's a comfy room- a large (real) bed, a couch, a birthing tub. It does not have the sterile, clinical feel of a hospital. My orders were to walk in laps around the center to get contractions really moving. I did this for at least an hour before telling Anne that it really hurt my bladder and that I needed to lie down. I know she was very worried that labor would stall if I wasn't walking, but she trusted me. Luckily contractions continued. I got through contractions by breathing and focusing, and also by singing. It sounds odd, really, but I would sing show tunes throughout the contractions. It helped me focus on my breath. My favorite was "Man Up" from Book of Mormon.

Time gets a little hazy at this point, but about 4 hours in, Anne checked me, and I was 5cm. I was discouraged. 4 hours and one centimeter? I confided in Anne that I had a real fear that I would sabotage my progress because I was afraid of the pain to come. I think it's only natural to protect yourself from pain instead of urging it on. I told her that though I don't have any proof, I was worried that with Charlotte I didn't push right because I was afraid of how it would feel to push her out. Anne listened and encouraged me that I could do anything and that I would be holding my baby soon. She had me lie down in bed with Jason and we turned the lights out. She wanted me to try to sleep between contractions. She was lying on the couch. I tried to rest, I really did. I was able to drift away a couple times between contractions, but they really started to hurt at this point. I could no longer talk or sing during them. I would push air out in a shushing sound and demanded that Jason apply serious counter-pressure on my lower back. He was pushing so hard that his arms were shaking, but it wasn’t enough for me. I seriously wanted him to beat me in the back. I remember reaching back and pushing his hand even harder into my back., and feeling his arm shaking with the effort.  Anne recognized that these contractions were getting us somewhere- she kept encouraging me to stay in the position because it was working. I was getting upset with her, because I wanted to avoid the pain- why would I want to make it hurt worse? Oh yeah- we want labor to progress!

I noticed that my legs were shaking, probably from low blood sugar. I had had very little to eat that day, and had managed to only graze on Golden Grahams and granola bars during labor. Jason had bought me a Publix sub for after labor, but I asked for it then. It's amazing how your body really knows exactly what it needs. I picked the vegetables off without even thinking about it. I needed the turkey and cheese. I ate about half the 6 inch sub, and that really did the trick. I could concentrate more on labor and less on the low blood sugar. I knew I needed the energy for what was coming.

It was about this time that Anne suggested I try my hands and knees. She put a birthing ball on the head of the bed, and had me rest my upper body on it. I will forever remember my face pushed into that birthing ball. I can instantly recall exactly how those contractions felt. It is safe to say that this was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. Every contraction would rob me of my breath and it seemed my sanity. I wanted it to stop, but I kept going. It’s fair to say that if an epidural had been an option, I would have easily taken it. But that wasn’t an option. Jason and Anne provided lots of counter-pressure, and would also press against my hips, which helped. It didn't make the hurt go away, but I needed it. Each contraction was a stab in the bladder that wrapped back to my lower back. I really wish I could describe the feeling, but I can't. Really- it was the most ridiculous pain. I wanted to arch my back or rock, but the very thought of moving was nauseating. I had been using low moans through contractions up to this point, when my low moans became more a siren, and finally I was just screaming. I appreciate that no one tried to stop me. Screaming was obviously exactly what I needed to do.

Anne checked me then, the second and last time. She reported that I was at 9 centimeters. I instantly asked if I could get in the pool then. Anne said, "Amy, I don't think there's time. It takes 30 minutes to set up the pool." I begged her to do it anyway. She started working on it and Jason stayed with me to provide counter-pressure. It seemed only a short amount of time before I was being helped out of my nightshirt and into the tub. What a relief that water was! It just took a little of the edge off, but I still didn’t want to move. The pain was still intense.

My 45 minutes in the pool were the antithesis of my three hours of pushing with Charlotte. With Charlotte, there was bright light and four people constantly counting and barking at me to push. Here in the pool, there was total silence. The lights were off, and Anne had a small flashlight. The Beatles station was softly playing on our Pandora app on the iPad. No one told me to do anything at all. I was able to close my eyes, lean back on the side and do what my body wanted me to do. At first, I started experimenting with pushing. I had read about "breathing the baby down" and tried that for a while, but it didn't get me anywhere. I wasn't feeling the overwhelming urge to push like I had with Charlotte. Actually, I didn't even know if I was 10cm, but it didn't matter. I was the one in control. I was the one who was able to direct what was happening to me. I tentatively pushed, gauging the situation. During these early pushes, my water broke. What a bizarre sensation- just this pop. Jason says I was so quiet at first that he was really worried that contractions had stopped. I tried gentle, short pushes, but occasionally would really bear down and push hard. When I pushed hard, into my bottom, I could feel something happening. It was painful and scary, and I wanted to avoid it. It made my entire body shake. It very much felt like I had to poop, but it was was hard and painful. I noticed that I was starting to avoid that strong push.

I suppose it was around this time that I sank into myself and had quite a conversation with myself. It went something like this, "Amy, no one else can do this for you. There is no way around this. You will have to push this baby out. You. No one else can do it. Do you want to meet her or not? I know it's scary, and I know it hurts, but you don't have a choice. You have to do exactly what you don't want to and you can't hesitate."

This was all I needed. I pushed my feet against the opposite side of the tub. I pushed with all I had. As she had been doing all along, Anne was checking the baby's heart on the Doppler. She listened, and I am assuming that during pushes she heard the baby's heart rate dropping. She said that I had to push the baby out now. I tried with the next contraction. Jason said that when I would stop pushing, the baby would pop back up. Anne said, "You have to push the baby out now, or I'm making you get out of the tub." It was a good threat! I gathered up everything I had in my body for those last several pushes. I don't know where it came from. I could very much feel Anne's fingers, and I remember thinking how much the whole area hurt. This could have been the "ring of fire" because soon I was hearing "here she comes" from someone, probably Jason. I remember Anne saying, "push your baby out." I don't actually really remember her head coming out. I remember pain, and I remember them telling me to push, and then I felt her entire body slide out. I opened my eyes to see Anne working under the water. Jason told me it was because Violet's cord was wrapped several times around her body, so Anne had to spin her around to get the cord unwrapped. She plopped the baby on my chest. I couldn't stop saying, "Wow!" as I held that wet, squirmy thing.

Anne instructed Jason to get me immediately out of the tub onto the bed. I had suffered from low iron at the end of the pregnancy, and Anne had already told me that she needed to get the placenta out as soon as it detached, so that I didn't bleed behind the placenta and bleed out. This happened fairly soon- about five minutes later. I didn’t see the placenta, and this time I kind of wanted to. How amazing is it that you grow this entire organ that keeps your baby alive and then comes out? Jason did not cut the cord until it stopped pulsing- an important thing, as roughly 1/3 of baby's blood is transferred to the placenta before birth. This way, baby gets everything back before the cord is cut. I was so thrilled to finally be holding that little baby. She was a little on the blue side at first, and needed a little stimulation to really get her crying well. This took a couple of minutes, but she pinked up really fast. I was able to nurse her right away.

We settled in with our girl- all 8 pounds, 10 ounces, 22 inches of her, born at 3:14am, August 27, 2011.  Anne then told us that was born with a nuchal hand- she had her fist against her face as she came out, something that makes it even harder for momma!

We took our time getting cleaned up, eating (a Big Breakfast from McDonald's) and enjoying the little one. She and I were constantly being checked for anything of concern. Roughly every 20 minutes, they were checking the baby's vitals, my vitals, and were checking my uterus for the slightest sign of hemorrhage. I ended up needing 3 stitches- this was probably the old wound from Charlotte reopened. After almost 6 hours, we were ready to pack up and take her home.

Giving birth naturally was the hardest thing I've ever done, and by far the most rewarding. Even though it hurt like hell, I could move, go to the bathroom, eat, relax, and let my body do what it was made to do. After Charlotte's birth, I was convinced that my body didn't know how to birth a baby. I was convinced that only medicine and medical science could get that baby out. But not only did I go into labor by myself with Violet, I pushed that baby out all by myself without the tiniest painkiller. There is no way to go through that without feeling empowered and that you can do anything at all. I could not be more proud of myself.

A Birth Story- 42 Weeks and One Day

I thought there were many lessons to be learned from this birth story.  You will see mom decide that she is ready for an induction (and I can't imagine waiting that long in the summer!) but go about it in a very specific way and avoid IV Pitocin.  I also love how she knows that she is the one hiring her care provider and makes sure she has one who is supportive of her wishes.  

An amazing big beautiful baby from a strong mama!  

Enjoy!

Kenadee’s Birth Story

Background: This is my second child, first natural birth. With my first I was induced and had an epidural simply because I wasn't educated and doing it that way was the norm to me.

I was due to have my second baby girl on August 9, 2011. On July 18, I made the official choice to have a natural birth.  I was 37 weeks pregnant. I knew I wanted things to be different this time so I began educating and preparing myself. After talking a whole lot about this topic with my sister-in-law, Angela, (who has done natural birth 3 times) she recommended a doula and with the help of some wonderful people I found Angie and Robynne. Both of them came to my home a few times. We got to know each other better and I learned some things that we would be doing on the big day. 

I fell in love with both of these ladies and couldn’t wait for my birthing time to begin. During this time I also found out about Hypnobabies. It sounded pretty neat, so I got all the home study material and dove right in. I read the entire course book which educated me on so many different things and also started listening to the CD tracks to learn deep relaxation. I didn’t know how well this would work for me since you’re supposed to start the program pretty early in the pregnancy, but when I was falling asleep while listening to the tracks, I knew it was doing something.

August 9^th came and went. For 3 weeks I had been experiencing Braxton hicks contractions every evening that would get stronger over time but never got a regular pattern. I was getting pretty frustrated at this point because I was over 40 weeks. And then I was 41 weeks. At my previous office visits I was dilated 3 cm and effaced 80%. At 41+3, I had my membranes stripped for the second time hoping something would finally happen. It was so important to me to go into labor on my own and I tried really hard to avoid induction. However, when nothing was working to get it going, I just couldn’t go on any longer. 

Being pregnant in the heat of the summer really took a toll on me. I was always hot, uncomfortable and could barely walk from swollen feet. I had a miscarriage only two weeks before getting pregnant this time and from the beginning of that pregnancy to the end of this one, I had pretty much been pregnant for 11 months! I was so ready to have my body back for myself. So after much consideration, I agreed to have labor induced.

The day of the induction came at 42+1 and much to my surprise at still being pregnant, off to the hospital we went. We arrived at 8:30am. My doctor had gone out of town and I was scheduled with a complete jerk Dr. Nichols. I chose to have my water broken rather than having Pitocin administered to get labor going. My birth plan consisted of things that were very important to me; no IV, intermittent monitoring, labor in any position I wanted, baby immediately put on my chest and no pain meds to name a few. 

But despite my doctor approving my birth plan and keeping it in my file, Dr. Nichols refused to do what I wanted. He phoned my room shortly after we arrived and it turned out to be the worst conversation I’ve ever had with someone. His bed side manner was awful. He told me he didn’t realize that I had the plan I did and that if he was going to work with me, I had to do it his way…which was Pitocin and an IV probably to have him home by dinnertime. 

When I refused and tried to stick to the plan I so much wanted, he told me I could leave and come back 4 days later (which would have put me at 43 weeks) to have my own doctor do it. I thought it a little funny since my own doctor admitted she didn’t like seeing her patients go to 42 weeks and many doctors won’t even let you get anywhere near 42 weeks and now all of a sudden I was free to go all the way to 43 weeks! 

I should mention that I don’t believe that an OB should “let” you do anything. This is my body, my baby and an OB is my “employee”. If I would have felt comfortable waiting it out longer, I would have gone above and beyond 42 weeks (as long as baby was still doing OK) regardless what my OB says I have to do. I couldn’t believe the way this doctor was treating me on one of the most important and special days of my life. After hanging up the phone on him I burst into tears. It took a while for me to be able to calm down enough to tell Dale (husband) and my mom what just happened. It was about 10:00am when we “fired” him and the wonderful charge nurse of L&D worked to find a doctor who would be willing to take me as a patient. I actually got to choose who I wanted and chose Dr. Barney. I knew him because he delivered two of my siblings and my mom really likes him. At 10:40am he agreed to work with me.

I had originally refused a hep lock that my doctor agreed to, but had to get one anyway. A student nurse finally got it in after one failed attempt, but not without spewing my blood all over my hand and bed (which made me pretty queasy), and giving me a lovely bruise first. I forgave her…but only because she and the other nurse assigned to me were the most amazing nurses I could have asked for and I was so very grateful for that after the emotional roller coaster the jerk doctor put me through.

My water was finallyreleased at 11:37am. It felt so strange! I felt a pop as it happened and then sat up in bed where I proceeded to pee on myself drain fluid for the next 20 minutes. Dilation was still at 3 cm, 80% effaced, baby at -1 station; same as my previous office visits. When I felt like most of the fluid was out, Dale and I started walking the halls. The contractions picked up a pattern pretty quick and were lasting 30 seconds every 2-3 minutes. I was so relieved that my body was doing what it was supposed to since the doctor wanted me on Pitocin if I didn’t progress within 6 hours, which later somehow changed to 4 hours (after 4 hours I hadn’t progressed much and the doctor would call to get updates frequently. Thankfully, my awesome nurses who were both very supportive of my natural plan told him I was more progressed than I really was). 

I continued to just hang out in my room with Dale and my mom, pacing back and forth, sitting on a birth ball and swaying my hips back and forth with Dale’s arms around me with every contraction. Eventually I got pretty hungry and had Dale sneak in the best hot dog I’d ever eaten in my life. After finishing off with a delicious chocolate chip cookie (we also brought them for all the nurses and that totally scored points with them!) and some cherries, I felt energized to keep laboring, happy and satisfied.

At 3:11pm dilation was up to a whopping 4 cm and 90% effaced. By 4:34pm nothing had changed. I know, depressing, right?  For a second baby this sure was taking much longer than I expected! By 5:52pm dilation had progressed to 5 cm. Hallelujah! I was half way there! I had no sense of time by this point. I remember being in bed, closing my eyes to focus on each contraction. It felt as if only 20-30 seconds had gone by, but my mom would time them and say that they were now lasting 50 seconds. I was very happy to hear this but also couldn’t believe it. I felt as if though I had entered another world.

By this point things started to get a little more intense and that’s when Hypnobabies went out the window. I’m not going to dismiss this for future pregnancies because I know I didn’t have enough time to practice and really get it down. However, what it diddo for me was boost my confidence in knowing that I was in control, my body was designed to birth, my baby knew just what to do and the more powerful the contractions would get, the closer I was to holding my sweet baby.

At 5:30pm I was ready for additional support and told Angie (doula) to come. She arrived at 6:30pm and began filling the tub while baby was being monitored. I was in bed shivering and couldn’t wait to get in. At 7:15pm, I got the OK from the student nurse and got in. The hot water felt incredible and instantly relaxed me. A shift change brought a new nurse who told us I wasn’t allowed in the tub after my water had been broken. When I heard this, my heart dropped because there was no way I was getting out of that soothing tub. 

Angie talked to nurse Wendy about this and she asked the charge nurse. It was no problem after all and I was so relieved! Wendy turned out to be another super incredible nurse that I was blessed with that day. Dale poured warm water over my belly with every contraction and I really had to focus on breathing deep. I remember feeling so awesome when a contraction would end. It was powerful, but felt good.

At 7:50pm, Robynne (my 2^nd doula) arrived. I was really enjoying the tub but at 8:40 got out to be checked. Dilation was at 6+/7 cm. I spent some time standing on the side of the bed and sitting on the ball. At 9:10 labor increased in intensity and I had all hands on me for comfort and support. Angie and Robynne did awesome work by putting counter pressure on my back, squeezing my hips together and massaging my back. I got in the tub again at 9:25 and had some pretty powerful contractions. It was hard for my mom to watch her baby going through something like this. I had to keep telling her I was ok. 

I was feeling some rectal pressure at this time but was afraid to say anything because I didn’t want to get out of the tub (I was only able to labor in the tub. I couldn’t birth in it, although I really wanted to). Angie could tell something was different because my breathing and tone of voice would change. I had to get out and at 9:50 I was checked and dilation was at 8 cm and baby at zero station. I labored some more on the ball where I experienced a lot more rectal pressure and had some involuntary pushing. I think this is also where I might have entered transition because I suddenly got the biggest urge to throw up, although I never did...probably a good thing since the nurses would find out about that hot dog and the fact that I told them I hadn’t eaten anything since midnight the night before was a complete lie. 

I got a much needed break when a few contractions lowered in intensity and I was able to quietly breathe through them, as opposed to the very vocal breathing that I had been doing. I don’t think anyone around me even knew I was having these contractions. I remember getting back on the bed, probably to be monitored or checked when I all of a sudden wanted to call Angela (sister-in-law who got me into this) just to hear her voice for additional strength to go on. It felt great telling her that I was doing it! The strength of labor soon took over and I told Dale to hang up.

At 10:45pm I was still at 8cm but the baby had come down to +1 station. I spent some time leaning on the back of the bed but at this point any position I tried getting into felt really intense. I couldn’t relax enough to keep my legs open and with every contraction I squeezed my legs together as tight as I could to cope with the pain. I was discouraged because I didn’t have any urges to push and as hard as I tried just couldn’t relax. I swayed, I rocked, I cried. I mimicked Tarzan's yell perfectlywith every contraction.

Angie and Robynne tried getting me into other positions but it was always so difficult to move as a hard contraction would hit every time. I tried the squat bar, but because I was so tense and couldn’t easily keep my legs apart it just plain hurt. I started to ask for something to take the edge off. I felt like I couldn’t possibly handle the pain any longer. An epidural never entered my mind and it’s not what I wanted, but I did want something to just lower the tremendous intensity I was feeling. Angie said something about it not being a good idea to put narcotics in my system so close to delivery. I wasn’t about to drug my baby after coming this far, so I went on.

At 11:50pm Dr. Barney checked me and then stepped aside not saying much. A minute later, in the most casual voice he says I can start pushing if I want. Since he didn’t actually say that I was complete, I thought I was probably at a 9 or still had some cervix left but could start practice pushing. Much to my surprise I was complete! Finally! At 11:55 pushing officially began and soon after it was Thursday, August 25, 16 days past my due date!

Pushing was tough! I envisioned myself pushing in an upright position and breathing my baby out (I also envisioned myself being quiet…but that didn’t happen).  I ended up pushing lying mostly on my back with Angie holding one leg and hand and Robynne holding the other leg and hand with Dale and mom on both sides of me. Lying on my back was pure torture. 

The lower the bed was laid back, the worse the pain would get. I no longer had a grip on the contractions. It felt as if I was going down a roller coaster with no safety bar to hang onto. This is the only thing that still bothers me about my birth. I’m slowly trying to get over it and know it will be different the next time (I guess this is what you get with OB’s who are so used to having their mothers pushing on their backs). I had to push hard and the combination of a contraction, starting to feel baby crown and being completely out of breath was more than I could handle. 

But I had to stay strong and continued pushing as hard as I could. I also had a 2^nd degree tear and probably felt that at this point too. About 20 minutes later her head came out and after a few more pushes, I felt the rest of her warm body slip out. It felt incredible! Daddy got to cut the cord (unfortunately the cord was clamped right away. Delayed clamping was on my birth plan but the doctor did not look at it and by the time I remembered it and said something, it was too late. Darn it! Also another thing to change next time) and then she was put on my chest where I marveled at what I had just accomplished. My first words were, “I did it! I did it!” It was so empowering!  

 I held my new little girl for a few minutes and then agreed to have her put under the warmer to pink up for a bit because she was quite purple. She was weighed and measured and came in at 9 pounds 1 ounce and was 22 inches long with a head circumference of 35 cm. A few minutes later I put her to breast and she began breastfeeding like a champ!