Obstetric Lie # 95- Birth Is A Disease

Imagine it:

You are a skilled race car driver. You have worked for years to hone your skills. You have a fast car. It is the best. It has a big engine. You even have driving gloves and a helmet, a race track, all the bells and whistles. But....you only get to go fast when you REALLY have too. Mostly, you just get to sit around and watch people drive by in their Volvos.

Now imagine you are a skilled surgeon. You went to school for years and years. You have a doctorate. You have some serious debt. You have lots of knowledge about pathology- in particular all the things that could possibly go wrong with a laboring woman. You are well trained to spot those many things. And yet.....most of the time you just have to sit around and watch people push out their babies with little or no trouble AT ALL.

Hmmmm....

Does this sound like a recipe for disaster to anybody else but me?

Birth As Pathology

"Pathology is the study and diagnosis of disease. The word pathology is from Greek πάθος, pathos, "feeling, suffering""; (Via Wikipedia)

Think about this for a moment. Disease. Suffering. When we surround the primal and normal act of birth with these words we fundamentally change it.

When we surround a laboring and birthing woman with people who are deeply committed to the study of said disease and suffering we fundamentally change that birth.

"...because physiologically, birth doesn’t happen the same way around surgeons, medically trained doctors, as it does around sympathetic women. "
Ina May Gaskin

You can find obstetricians, midwives, men, women, mothers, fathers, television producers, even children today who believe, deeply and emphatically that birth is a disease. They believe that birth is inherently dangerous.

This sentiment, that birth is inherently pathological is so deeply inherent in our culture today that it is often not even questioned. It is so large and pervasive that we could even say that the pathological model of birth is in fact a national paradigm.

I have heard five year old children, when asked about how babies are born say that , "Mommy goes to the hospital and they cut it out of her stomach." This is how deep the vision of abnormal, pathological birth runs in our culture. We believe it before we even understand how babies are conceived.

But birth is not a pathology.

No- BIRTH IS NOT A PATHOLOGY. IT IS NOT A DISEASE. IT IS NOT ABNORMAL.

The fact that people believe that birth is dangerous, pathological and unsafe does not make it so. I repeat- just because everybody accepts this does not make it true.

You can watch on television the celebration of birth that is considered normal but is in fact NOT NORMAL. All around us we see "proof" that birth is dangerous, scary, and must be controlled by knife wielding experts who have most often NEVER even had a vagina, much less pushed a baby out of one.

But this is not proof at all. The prevalence of this idea is not proof of it. It is simply proof that we have accepted as fact something that is false.

BIRTH IS NORMAL-

We must shift this paradigm. We must. We can not live in a culture where it is accepted that women are generally incapable of a basic biological function. To accept this atrocity not only damages the birth experience of women, but it damages the national perception of femininity. It hurts the value of women, motherhood, wisdom and our innate power.

We can not stand for this. We can not accept it.

We can not watch shows that support and encourage this anti-female, anti-normal, and false perception of our abilities and our womanhood. We can not give our money to men and women who believe this. We can not birth in their hospitals. To do so is to feed the system of misogyny and fund the very tyrants who abuse women for profit.

We can do this. We can envision normal birth again and then we can make it happen. It will be a slow process and it will be scary. Why? Because first we must face our own fears. We must accept our own power and our own responsibility. We must walk away from institutions. We must birth normally. We must be radical

But it is not radical to believe in a woman's ability to birth without pathology. It is normal, right and intuitive. It is however different and it requires a leap of faith. Take that leap. This change will only begin with us.

"You Don't Get Any Gold Stars for Having a Natural Birth"

"You don't get any gold stars for having a natural birth."

UGH-
I will not justify the above idiotic quote with any more media attention for the moronic health care provider who stated it (or something similar), but I do have a few responses.  Feel free to use them if somebody dares insinuate that you desire natural births for your children because of something as silly as social approval or attention from others.

****** 

~No, but my baby got one, because he was born without being pumped full of drugs.

~Believe it or not, I actually chose a natural birth because it is healthier for mom and baby, not for a sticker that I wanted.  I did not have the birth of my child confused with a first grade spelling test.

~Do you get gold stars for your heavily medicated, date chosen induction, fear based, birth decisions?  I didn't think so. 

~I don't vaccinate either, do you think I am doing that because I want my body to look like Jenny McCarthy's?

~I will not respond to that with violence or hatred, because despite how ignorant and dismissive it sounds,  I am trying to raise my "gold star baby" to be loving and turn the other cheek.

~No, I received no gold stars, but I did have a fabulous, empowering, climactic birth experience and a happy alert baby, unlike so many women out there who choose to listen to care providers who tell them that their bodies don't work right.

~I didn't give birth naturally for a gold star, I was actually hoping Riki Lake would be my friend...

~I chose natural birth because it is so obviously the way birth is meant to be.

~Actually, I just believe in a woman's incredible ability to grow, birth, and feed her babies without the help of man, machines, or sharp objects. 

~Why do you find it offensive that I had a natural birth? 

~I chose natural birth because I was more afraid of the horror stories I heard about MEDICATED birth than I was about the supposed PAIN of natural birth.

~I teach natural childbirth classes.  I think you would be a great candidate for them....Call me next time you are pregnant.  You too can have a gold star!

Mama to Mama Wisdom: The Safety of Natural Birth

If you are an advocate for birth as it should be, natural and fearless, you have probably time and time again heard something like this:

"Well, natural birth is fine, but my baby and I would have died had we not been in the hospital for birth.  I am so grateful for the doctors and modern medicine."

While it is true that modern medicine certainly does save women and babies, it seems obvious that it's overuse is common to the point of being damaging, both body and soul.  

Some of our mamas respond to this idea.  Enjoy their wisdom.  

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Most likely what they would have died from was caused from being in the hospitals around doctors in the first place!

Women were having babies way before hospitals existed... If more people need special care nowadays, we have to find the cause. When human plays with Nature, the consequences are unknown for a period of time, but eventually we all suffer for it.

I thought the same, until I learned the reason my daughter had such a horrible birth was from the pitocin they gave me. When you are taught the natural pitocin in your body works in waves from top to bottom, and the kind I was given makes everything cramp causing distress - it makes me angry! Had I known that I'd never have agreed.

 Well I did take that argument on a week ago in real life. I said hemorrhage was the big killer. And I asked her if she knew that herbs can stop hemorrhage immediately. And then I asked her if she knew that midwives can carry Pitocin for 3rd stage management. I told her home birth isn't about denying technology or medicine. It's about accepting that NORMAL bodily processes don't NEED technology or medicine. And when things aren't normal, you seek out a doctor/hospital.

If you look at the results of nurse midwives and doctors in the 1920s/30s from the work Mary Breckinridge did in Appalachia, you will see that she had better results than physicians in the hospitals by attending women in their homes, birthing centers, and hospitals. Look at Ina May Gaskin's statistics for The Farm. Yes, there are some dismal statistics for maternal mortality in the old days, but the reasons for many of those problems were nutritional, having baby after baby before being recovered, working extremely hard while pregnant, and some mistakes in medical care such as not washing hands. Lay midwifery was fine in most cases and they did what they could do, adding in some modern medical training helped with situations that they weren't used to. If we had the nutrition and general health we have now, then, we wouldn't have the dismal statistics.



I'd argue that none of us would be here if that were the case, without ancestors from way back doing it without doctors or technology we wouldn't exist! Sure there may be a few less of us due to maternal or infant death but not as many as modern medicine would have us believe!

If i have any more children they will not be in a hospital. my first born almost died BECAUSE of them and with my second I still didn't understand there were options!!

My husband argued the other day that before birth was hospitalized there were far more deaths in both mothers and children. I didn't know what to say to him, now I do! Also, my midwifes carry all medical equipment with them and act on the spot. If the birth is not going "normal way" they know way before the final stage and they transfer you to the hospital. My midwife said she never had a situation when she had to go in the ambulance. They are trained well to recognize symptoms of distress and if something is wrong, the hospital is for that. But I don't want to be an object again, had medical procedures which names are new to me done on me because they're standard. I don't want to be laughed at or rolled eyes at because I have questions and want things my way. I want to be a subject, in charge, I want to own the labor. I will never again let anyone treat the way they treated me in the hospital, unless it endangers my or baby's life.


  And a note on how we deliver the message and listen to and respect other women and their fears-

 I think it's important to be sensitive to where the woman you're talking to is in her life. Every woman, including YOU, deserves the respect of feeling some ownership and closure about her birth experience. Asking a lot of questions about the birth with a pure and open heart, and if you have permission to engage, is important, and never judging about an experience that is already in the past and can't change is also essential. If you're talking to a woman who hasn't given birth yet, or is about to, answering questions or delivering solid information (not emotional), is appropriate. Talking to a woman who is supporting a friend or relative with HER birth is a great place to get passionate, someone who won't be personally injured by the conversation.

 

Why Suffer When You Don't Have To?

Natural birth mamas stand out a little don't you think?  And when it is made know that we are interested in/obsessed with/or preaching natural childbirth, sometimes the response is this:

"Why go through all that suffering and pain when you don't have to?"

Almost any woman who has planned a natural birth has heard this question.  What is the point of going without drugs when they are available?  Would you have a cavity drilled without painkillers?

This statement, though it seems to make sense, is wrong on many levels. 

First, it assumes that labor and birth is in and of itself painful to the point that suffering occurs.  I looked up the definition and the first one I found for suffering is this, : "agony, an acute state of pain."

I have met many natural birth mamas who firmly state that their birth was absolutely PAINLESS.  I personally did not feel like my first birth was ever really painful, and I never felt like I was suffering at all.  I mentioned this to my husband a few months afterwards and he laughed in my face!  I looked to him like I was in a LOT of pain.  Birth certainly looks painful to the outside observer, especially if that observer is a man and has never experienced joyful birth.  (He claims that time had altered my memory of the event and there may be some truth to that.)

The second assumption that this statement makes is that pain equals suffering.  Pain in birth, when it occurs, is simply your body telling you something.  Now when you have a headache you can take a pill to numb that pain.  One other option you have is to look at what might be causing that pain.  Do you need to eat, drink, sleep or stop yelling at your husband?

If and when you experience pain in birth or labor it is not the moment to beg for drugs, it is the moment to examine what is going on.  Is this position bad?  Are you surrounded by people you don't want there?  Do you need to move?  Do you need to back off the pushing?  Pain when it does occur is simply your body talking to you, it is not your body screaming "give me drugs now!".  Listen to it. 

Is labor suffering?  Oh, this is a good one!  Sometimes women do suffer in birth, but they don't have to.  I was at a friends home birth once and I said something to the midwife about how I knew a woman who got an epidural because her husband did not like to watch her suffer.  The midwife was pissed!  She was adamant that this mama we were with was not suffering at all.  She was surrounded by people who loved her and supported her.  She might not be comfortable every second.  The experience might be harder than she had ever imagined.  But she was enveloped in love, security and support.  Suffering had nothing to do with this birth. 

So, why go through the suffering of natural birth if you can so easily numb yourself?  So many reasons!  But most important, because it is not suffering.  Natural birth is a gift to the mother, her baby, and her entire family.  Going through the entire process without anything to "numb the pain" makes the end that much sweeter. 

Being A Great Birth Coach

You see husbands in a childbirth class and you can watch them start to freak out as they realize the magnitude of what they have gotten themselves into.  We talk about countless positions, relaxation methods, interventions, emotional signposts, biology and honestly- it is overwhelming for most men.  It just looks like so so much to remember and they naturally fear that they will forget something.

Some natural birth supporters have even gone so far as to say that fathers should not be in the delivery room because it is too disturbing for them to watch and even damaging to the relationship.  What does dad need to know in order to be a help instead of a problem?

Dr Bradley

Obviously, Dr Bradley, who along with Jay and Marjie Hathaway, founded the Bradley Method also called Husband Coached Childbirth, thought that husbands should be present.  He felt like the lover, trained in the ways of birth could be of most help to mother, with Dr or Midwife just there as a lifeguard to their sacred dance. 

I think Dr Bradley made some huge changes in maternity care- but it pretty much stopped at getting the husband in the delivery room.  All his stuff about very low medication rates has been tossed along the wayside. Today we see almost every father present at delivery, but very few of them are trained or knowledgeable about birth.  They are just as afraid as their wives. 


Father As Protector

Ask a woman about birth and the words that most often come to mind first are fear and pain.  Given how fearful women are and how truly disturbing birth often is in this country, there is no doubt that this can be an incredibly hard situation for a loving father. 

Consider how distraught a father would be after viewing a "birth" that more resembles a sexual assault.  His wife is drugged, strapped to a bed, attached to numerous machines, her private parts are entered at the whim of nameless care providers, machines beep away indicating her "progress".  Dad has no idea what is going on.  He bows to the superior knowledge of the medical machine.  Meanwhile, a man, husband, lover, and soon to be father, begins his journey as a father feeling helpless and worthless.  He is unable to offer comfort, support, knowledge, or pain relief.  Should he be there? 

Training

I can not imagine the birth of my children without the presence of their father.  He was of utmost help to me.  This was not because he insturcted my pushing or my breathing or position changes.  It was just becuase he was there- and because he was calm. 

I think the absolute most important thing that a father can bring to the table is trust in his partners ability to birth their baby.  If he is scared and doesn't believe in her- she will know.  This could definitly hurt the process, not to mention her feelings. 

My husband does not tell me what to do.  He doesn't have loads of information memorized about birth.  He does however have a deeply held belief in the ability of the human body to do a miraculous work.  He always believed that I could do it.  He was calm and believed in me when I did not.  When I have sobbed or screamed that "I can not do this" his simple and peaceful answer was always- "Yes- you can".

So- of course a loving trained father is a wonderful asset at a birth.  He does however need to trust in his partner.  Taking an out of hospital childbirth class is an excellent way to get over the fear and misinformation out there and learn to trust in birth.  The couples that do the best are the ones where dad is involved and reading and loving throughout the entire process. 

Spiritual Birth

I recently had somebody ask me about the  "birth high."  I think they were interested because it sounds kind of fun to have this natural "high"- like it was some kind of harmless acid trip.  I did not know how to answer.  Yes- at the end of a natural birth, when the baby finally is here- there is a fantastic feeling, sometimes called a birth high or a birth orgasm.  It is so much more than this though.  Birth can be a spiritual experience. 

Maybe part of the reason I think this is because I am already religious.  But there is something magical about this experience.  At the moment of birth you are so close to the other side of this life and the next that the emotions are overwhelming.  Is this just hormones and endorphins?  I am sure that is part of it.  But I am convinced there is much much more. 

Birth is the act, the experience that brings a new life to meet us.  If you believe in God- then you must know that this is a moment so precious and sacred.  The first breath and the last breath on this earth are sacred and tender experiences. 

Why?

I am sure people wonder why I care so much about natural birth- and this is why.  I want to fully experience this moment.  I know that I will only have it a few times in my lifetime.  I know that it will require sacrifice and hard work, maybe even some discomfort or pain.  But I can not imagine missing it. 

I do not do it for the "birth orgasm"- I want to be able to feel that moment fully when I am so close to life and death that I can touch it all around me.  It would not be worth giving up some of the discomfort to miss this overpowering moment.  Believe me, I have understood why women get an epidural.  I feel my labors too!  I have understood why women get induced- I go overdue and I get uncomfortable and I have plans too!

But believe me when I say you don't want to deaden any of the sensations of birth if it means that you will miss even a tiny bit of this moment.  Birth is not just a physical passage, a way for that baby to get out of your body.  We don't just go natural because it is the best thing for the baby or because we want bragging rights.  I have my babies this way because birth is a spiritual experience beyond anything I could describe.  Allow yourself to experience it if you can.  It is worth it.  It is unforgettable.  And it is one of the most tragic things I can think of when a woman has this experience that can be spiritual defiled and turned into a horrible memory that she would rather forget.  The fact that so many women are denied this experience because of a system based on money and convenience and fear and liability makes me sick inside.  It makes me angry.  It makes me want to scream and change things and make them better. 

You can have this experience.  I believe that every woman is intended to have it if at all possible.  Thank goodness for technology when it is needed about 4% of the time.  Get rid of it when it is not. 

Coming Home

Sometimes I come across a woman contemplating a home birth but still unsure of the decision.  I always want to express to them the joy that this can bring without being pushy and pushing my values onto them.  These are simply the reasons why I loved my home birth.  

Thrice Blessed

I have been lucky enough to have had three wonderful natural births in three different places.  My first was born in a hospital, my second in a free standing birth center, and most recently, my third at home.  

All were wonderful experiences, which sadly is more than most women can say.  I do feel like I could have a natural birth in a hospital pretty easily.  Many women can if they have enough knowledge, speak up for themselves, are dedicated, and arrive at the hospital very close to delivery.  I felt like I could birth in a hospital again, but knew that I definitely did not want to.  

Why?

Choose Your Friends-

I think that the scariest thing about a hospital birth for many women attempting to go all natural is the fear of things that will be done to you.  You can choose a natural friendly hospital and care provider and all of that, but unfortunatly, almost every OB or midwife in a hospital works shift work.  Your care provider will only be there if it is their shift.  Essentially you don't know who you are going to end up with.  

Step back from our culture and think about that for a minute.

 You are going to go have a baby- something that is intensely private, sacred, incredible, and rare, and you are going to do it with whoever is on call.  Maybe somebody you have never met.  Maybe somebody you don't even like.  Or - I will go ahead and sound sexist and say it- maybe even a man.  (I personally have never really understood the desire to birth with a male attendant).  

With a home birth you choose your midwife, and she (baring some act of fate like vacation or another birth) shows up!  Not somebody you have never met, not her partner with weird breath, your midwife.  The one you have a relationship with, a person you trust to be a lifeguard at one of life's most soul changing experiences.  Small detail- but important.  

Choose YOUR Power

I don't quite know how to put this in words but when you have a baby in your home- there is a subtle (or enormous) power difference than in having a baby in the hospital.  Anybody who comes knocks on your door.  You choose to let them in.  You are on  your turf.  You are the expert and you are in charge.  Obviously, a trained midwife will make choices that may need to be made sometimes that a mother can not- but things are very different.  

Choose Your Fear

I will get slammed for this but I will say it- there is some inherent risk in birth.  Occasionally even with sanitation  and modern medicine sometimes mothers or babies die.  I truly believe that this is rare when birth is handled as little as possible and a mother takes good care of herself- but it does happen.  

Could you die having a baby at home?  Yes- you could.  Could you die having a baby in a hospital.  Most certainly.  Statistically the likelyhood of this happening is about the same no matter where a healthy mother gives birth.  

My Choice

I choose the possibility of something going wrong in my home over the one in three chance of a c- section in a hospital (and all the risks associated with that).  I choose a midwife who encourages me to make educated choices about vaccinating, circumcision, and cord clamping- and then (shocker!) respects my wishes.  I choose this over threats that child protective services will be called because I refused eye ointment in the hospital.  

I choose a midwife who is comfortable sitting in the corner and checking the babies heartbeat intermittently and then allowing me to labor how or where I would like over being strapped to a monitor and having an unfamiliar nurse look at my printout every time she comes in the room.  

I choose to deliver in whatever position feels good to me without having to worry if that is against policy.  

I choose to deliver a baby naturally- and I mean allowing the baby to come out of my body without being yanked or pulled on.  

I choose to hold my baby for two hours after birth before checks are done in the room with me by two loving women over a baby that is taken to a seperate room and poked at so I can "get some rest honey".  

I choose home birth because it is beautiful and it is worth it.