Why The Natural Birth Community Must Not Ignore Her Critics

Not often, but occasionally I take a peek at one of those awful anti- natural childbirth websites. You know the ones I am talking about. They mock natural birth, non-vaccinating parents, Chiropractic, herbal remedies and all those who follow those types of lifestyle choices. They have a special place in their hearts for the unassisted birther or the woman who claims that childbirth was painless and wonderful. They particularly disdain midwifery, particularly the home birth variety. (Opps, I am that natural type!)



These people spew venom, hatred and disdain for those who think the c-section rate is too high or inductions are dangerous. (I am not going to name their particular websites or blogs here because I don't want to encourage them or send more people to click on their posts.)



Often their attacks are personal in nature, making sure to send nasty thoughts in the direction of any noticeable natural childbirth supporter, blogger, or celebrity.



You might be wondering at this point why on earth we can't ignore these people (who appear to often be women and mothers themselves). What could we possible learn from them? Well, in some ways they should be ignored. We don't need to give them money or attention or our own venom or emotions.



But there is something else I find occasionally on these vicious websites by those who hate and attack us (I hope you don't mind that I use the terms us and them.) No- sometimes I find something that is kind of disturbing on their blogs. You are not going to appreciate me saying this, but sometimes they say things that are.....



True.



Yes, sometimes the trolls, haters and villains speak some truth. Don't worry- it is buried deep beneath hatred and venom and it is mixed in with many untruths or twisted facts, but still, sometimes it is still there. Some of what they say we ignore at our own peril. (Lucky for us they are so mean and hateful that most people will simply ignore everything they have to say. I am surprised they haven't noticed this yet.)



So what exactly are they saying that we must not ignore?



~They talk about midwifery as though it is dangerous.~



I personally love midwives and the midwifery model of care. I have always had midwives and have never even seen an obstetrician. I have received care from both CNMs and CPMs, both in and outside of the hospital. I have been treated well, given great advice, and excellent safe care at my births.



It seems though that among the natural childbirth community we revere and love the midwifery model so much that we forget that, just as is true with the obstetric model, there are imperfections within it.



There are bad midwives. And I don't just mean very medically minded or cruel midwives- I mean midwives who trust birth and say all the right things and even think all the right things- but who are simply incompetent, dangerous, or unethical.



I have heard awful stories of midwives who can't start an IV when it is needed, who don't carry drugs for stopping hemorrhage, who can't properly suture and even who are unable to provide infant CPR. I have heard of midwives who transfer about 50% of them time and others who don't transfer when they should. I have talked to midwives who approve and even encourage the use of recreational drugs and others who inflate their abilities in order to get clients.



I believe that the midwifery model of care is fantastic for most women- but all midwives are not created equal and choosing a midwife or a home birth is not a magic bullet that will protect us from a birth going wrong.



We must open our eyes to some of the problems within midwifery that make it possible for incompetent and even dangerous midwives to continue to practice. This can only be ignored at our peril. We must carefully choose our own midwives. If we are studying or training to be a midwife, we must do more than just trust birth. We must be able to recognize when it can't be trusted.



I don't have a solution to this problem. I have nothing to offer to fix this. But talk to your midwife. Talk to others about her. Learn her experience, her transport rate, her training and her credentials. Choosing midwifery alone is not enough to guarantee a perfect birth.



~They say we can't support our claims relating to the safety of natural choices.~



I think there is actually lots of truth regarding the dangers of drugs administered and procedures used in common medical practice. More than that, I happen to think common sense itself makes a good case for things like a 30% c-section rate being dangerous and silly.



But I must admit that sometimes I notice that some of the things stated, claimed, or quoted among natural types are not true, not substantiated, not based on evidence, or are misinterpreted.



For the natural birth community to be respected we must speak the truth. We must also back up what we say with some real evidence. It is out there, but just because it is on somebodies blog, doesn't mean it is true. (Yes, I realize I am a natural birth blogger. I try to back myself up when I make a claim, but nobody actually checks my facts or those of any other blogger for that matter.) We can't take anybodies word for this stuff. We have to find out for ourselves. I personally find that using some of the words from ACOG themselves can be helpful, as can simply reading the package inserts for common drugs used at the time of delivery. Sometimes the best way to fight the enemy, is with their own research. They can't ignore that. Well, OK, yes they can, but you get what I mean.



~



One other thing I think we must avoid (and yes I realize I am guilty of it too) is the venom they use. Natural childbirth is often better. Not only is it often safer, it can be a miraculous and joyous event for the mother and the baby. This speaks for itself. We don't have to be mean and hateful to convince people of the joys of natural birth- if they experience it they will know for themselves. Dr Bradley talked about how other doctors got mad that he was stealing their patients. He said he never tried to steal patients, but at the time the hospitals had large joint recovery rooms. His mothers would WALK in, joyous, invigorated, and babbling on about their fantastic birth and their beautifully nursing newborn. The other exhausted, drugged and in pain mothers only had to look at them and talk to them to realize that birth could be so much more than what they had experienced.



In the end, birth and the euphoria that can surround it is more than can be proved or written about or put in a study. It is not just something that uses the mind or the body, it is a whole person experience and so it must really be experienced to be fully understood. The truth is that women are turning to natural childbirth not because we have a slick add campaign or lots of money but because they no longer trust the very model of care that these vicious people support. They have been hurt by it and are looking for a better way. The critics will never be convinced by us- they don't want to be, so we need not fight with them, but we must strengthen our weaknesses. The truth of natural birth will triumph, but we cannot ignore our flaws. To do so will only weaken us.

Home Birth

Birth

I have really wanted to write about the home birth of my daughter but it is so hard to put down into words. Birth is such a private and sacred event that it is difficult knowing what to share and what to make public. Let's see how this goes.

The Plan

I was excited with this birth to finally be planning a home birth. Truthfully, it is something I had considered with my others but was either too scared to do or just too broke to pay for since insurance did not cover it. My first was born in a hospital with midwifery care and my second was born in a stand alone birth center.

I was so lucky and blessed this time to find a home birth midwife willing to allow me to make payments. I want to give praise to all those midwifes out there that are willing to be so generous so that women can have the beauty of a home birth.

I felt strongly with this birth that it should be at home and I knew that all would be well with this choice. It is a wonderful thing to feel comfortable and safe in our decisions regarding birth.

The Day

I was of course a week and a half overdue!!! Which is frustrating when you are uncomfortable. I had been going to bed every night HOPING that I would go into labor (since I had always started at night with my others).

This time I woke up in the morning and started laboring. Since I knew I was having the baby at home I spent the morning running around trying to clean things up, picking grapes with the kids, and making a dinner for that evening. I just couldn't get everything done fast enough.

I think the idea of having children at birth is wonderful, but honestly, having my kids climb on me in the middle of a contraction was a little distracting so in the afternoon I called my mom to have her come pick them up and take them to eat and play. (MacDonald's anyone?)

Time is always blurry in labor but I think I called my midwife around 3 in the afternoon to give her a heads up. My husband had some patients at 4 and I told him to go see them (always thinking about cash flow, that's me). Around 4:30 my mom came to get the kids and my mother in law who we live with realized that I was in labor. My mom wouldn't leave me alone and around this time I had her call the midwife, and I told her that my husband needed to come home NOW.

My midwives were both about an hour away so I was honestly worried that they wouldn't make it.

Everybody Arrives

My husband came home, my mother in law was busy cleaning and bringing me damp cloths and ice chips, the kids were away and my midwives showed up.

This was my most intervention free pregnancy and birth and it was wonderful. In labor was the first time I had exposed the baby to any ultrasound at all when they checked the heart rate intermittently with the Doppler.

The midwives knew that I wanted this to be as hands off as possible so the only suggestion that they made was that I not labor in a sitting position. For some reason when I sat the heart rate was difficult or impossible to find.

So I labored all over the house. I was in the tub when I asked to have dilation checked because, honestly I just couldn't take it any more and wanted to know if I was close.

I was at a 9 1/2 with a lip on one side. My midwife recommended that I roll over so that the lip would disappear on that side. I did that and got out and was ready to push! YEAH!

About this time my mom showed up with my kids to see if she should take them to her house or what and when she heard how far along I was she said she was not going anywhere. I heard my midwife tell her that we would have a baby in a few minutes.

I had envisioned this birth a very certain way and that is much how it played out. I went into our TV room and squatted by our couch. I had really seen myself catching the baby. I just wanted it to be something that I did on my own without being messed with.

Pushing

So, with my mother, mother in law and children in the next room, listening but not watching, and me, my husband and the two midwives in the TV room, I started to push.

I have to admit that pushing is the hardest part for me and I kind of dread it. I have heard that lots of women love this but- well, I don't.

I started to push- and I admit- this time I really understood the epidural. This for me is the most intense time. I hate to call it pain because pain is such a small and silly word to use when talking about labor and birth. However, it was intense beyond belief. This is definitely my rock and a hard place. Something that has to be done but something I really wish someone else could do for me.

My water burst all over the place (kind of neat actually, I had never had this happen before) and in a few short (or incredibly long) minutes my sweet baby girl is born!

I had imagined catching the baby myself but I was starting to slip while squatting and I had to hold onto my husband so as not to fall over, so the midwife caught. The baby was born with the cord wrapped around the neck which explained why some positions were bad for the heart beat.

The Beginning

I have only been to a few births and one thing I noticed when I wasn't the mother was that when the baby is born it is kind of all over for the birth team. There is not much to do except clean up and leave. But with the birth of your own child the birth is just the beginning of something beautiful. Now you get to get to know this new sweet person that you have been waiting for for so long. It is the beginning of a new life for the whole family.

What I Loved

This birth was so amazing and satisfying in so many ways. I have loved the births of all my children, but this was so untouched and pure, it just seemed like birth with no regrets. It was birth how it should be. I feel so blessed and lucky to have been able to have a birth like this.

I am so grateful for two midwives that were not only generous, but so incredibly respectful of me and my wishes. There was no ego involved for them. They seemed to have zero need to feel important. They were fine with just being on the sidelines, just in case, because that was what I wanted. They respected all of my wishes and needs, even if what I wanted was to be left alone. I never got any pressure from them to do anything that I felt uncomfortable with or pressure to have the baby on a certain day or in a way that worked well for them.

Why

I know that from the outside I just seem crazy to people. Here I am, a housewife, obsessed with natural childbirth- who cares right? This is why-

I want so badly for women to know that birth is beautiful. It can be hard and crazy, even painful, but it is so much more. It is awe inspiring, amazing, and heavenly. It is our moment to be so close to life and death that we can just taste it. It is overwhelming and it is worth it.

I wish that women everywhere were respected and loved in this most sacred moment of their lives. I wish that we all could look at birth as so much more than just something that you have to go through in order to get a baby. I think of birth as a right of passage, a preparation for motherhood, a gift of love to your baby, yourself, and the world.
I know this sounds cheesy but it is true!

What more can I say! I love birth and I feel grateful everyday to be blessed to experience it in this life.