The Twilight Saga and Modern Birth Stories

Warning- Spoiler Alert!
If you haven't read the Twilight Saga and don't want to know how it ends- stop reading now!

Vampire Birth-
I admit- I was totally addicted to the Twilight Saga (yeah - I know I am too old for that) and I like the movies too, but when I read the last one I hated the birth!
I realize it makes me a nut job to actually be upset by a fictional vampire birth but- hear me out- I have a few good reasons.

The Birth-
If you haven't read the books, the last one ends with the heroine (a human) pregnant with a vampire baby. Of course, who knows how this will work out! Can a human woman survive a vampire birth!?
As we get closer to the rapidly approaching due date mama is sick, this crazy baby is hurting her from the inside out, and then, suddenly, emergency strikes!
Mama starts bleeding and the only thing that can save her is- you guessed it- a vampire c-section! Things are pretty touch and go for a while but with the help of some blood transfusions, lots of emergency medicine, (luckily there was a doctor present for this home birth) and narcotics, mom and baby pull through. Their survival of the horrors of birth are of course all due to the emergency c-section that mom received! (Don't even get me started on the breastfeeding situation. You think it hurts to nurse a regular baby, try one with fangs!)

Real Birth Stories-
So this is all pretty dramatic and silly, but how similar does it sound to almost ALL of the birth stories I hear from women? Very similar in fact (except for the vampire part). Most women I talk to are so afraid of birth, especially home birth because they had to be "saved" from their last birth.
How many times have you heard this or similar phrases coming from the lips of a recently delivered woman:
"It's a good thing I was in the hospital, because XYZ went wrong and we just wouldn't have survived without the technology."
Does anybody notice that technology ABC (insert here continuous fetal monitoring, epidural, supine pushing or any other number of standard procedures) are what caused the need for emergency medicine in the first place?!

Birth Stories MATTER!
I love those books- I really do. But what kind of message are we sending to the women and young women in this country when all the birth stories they hear are like this? Why are so many of our birth stories actually horror stories that end with the damsel in distress (IE, mother in stirrups) being saved by her knight in shining armor (IE, obstetrical surgeon and his knife)?
Not only do women hear these same scary stories from almost every woman they meet- they are now in books and teenage literature.

Good Birth Stories
For all you mamas out there with good birth stories, I think it is time we started sharing them. I don't mean tell everybody how much better you think you are because you suffered without that epidural, I mean tell people about the JOY of natural birth. Let's give some of those new mamas the confidence they need to have a happy and beautiful, even orgasmic birth experience.
If you are looking to read some good birth stories, check out either of Ina Mae Gaskin's books, "Ina Mae's Guide to Childbirth" or "Spiritual Midwifery". Both have lots of safe natural births and both give you an idea of how different labor is for every woman.

Oh- and there are a TON on the blog!

Birth: The 12 Step Program

Sometimes it seems that we have lost our way so thoroughly when it comes to birth that we must literally re-evaluate, re-think, and re-learn some basic and innate knowledge.

1. First, I must take responsibility for my and my babies birth. I will remember that it is ultimately me that will take this baby home. It is I who will deal with the physical, emotional, and mental results of the birth experience. I will own it. I will be strong and educated in my choices.

2. I will recognize the importance of feeding my baby and myself well during this sacred time of gestation. I will remember that eating well will not only make me feel better but it will be an integral part in our achieving a natural birth.

3. I will remember that my sedentary lifestyle may have left some important birthing muscles weak. I will strengthen them as I take time daily to embrace this baby, this birth, and the different strengths that I will need. I will believe that doing so will help not just with comfort, but strength and proper positioning.

4. I will research my choices and options. I will not let experts, others or fear dictate what I choose. I will not just listen to what other people think, but I will start learning to tune in to my inner mama strength and the intuition that I need in the coming months and years.

5. I will learn about labor and how it works. I will always remember that laboring is normal, instructive and POSSIBLE. I will keep in mind that I can do ANYTHING (even relax through a contraction) for a minute and a half. Nature is kind in her ways of bringing the baby into the world.

6. I will push my baby out under my own power. I will remember gravity and that she is my friend in this process. I will also not underestimate the ability of the baby to know how it should arrive and let him turn and twist as he needs to.

7. I will carefully choose my care provider and birth place. I recognize how important they can be to the overall birth and that this cannot be left up to chance. I will ask questions. I will not fear them because they have degrees I don't. I will dig for answers and I will find somebody else if I need to. I will remember that I am the consumer and that I will get what I am paying for.

8. I will learn and then practice daily relaxation. I will learn the power in my body. I will become familiar, along with my birth partner, with the ways that I relax, feel good, and let go. My ability to relax will become automatic as I tune into myself and my loving birth partner.

9. I will prepare myself by listening to the good and shutting out voices of negativity and rudeness. I will read positive birth stories and talk with women whose births were empowering. I will be strong in tuning out negativity, televisions shows, and my own fears. I will practice daily affirmations for my birth. I will recognize that where I am mentally and emotionally will deeply impact my birth.

10. I will face my daemons and move past them. I will recognize that past experiences in my life or in my births can come up again in this birth. But I will remember my own power and recognize the healing effect that a beautiful birth can have on me as I prepare to birth consciously.

11. I will look forward to this baby. I will prepare to nurture and feed it. I will joyfully plan to breastfeed and make sure that my birth team regards the first few hours between mom and baby as sacred and unforgettable.

12. I will remember that I have done all that I can to prepare for a good experience. I will let go of my anxiety as I hope for the best and let go of the rest. I will be at peace as I wait for this birth.

Achieving A Natural Birth

Sounds easy enough, right?
When I talk to first time mothers to be I often find that they like the idea of natural birth, but just want to wait and see what happens and if they "can" have one. Yes- and if you are trying to lose ten pounds, are you going to go to your favorite chocolate store, on an empty stomach, hang out for a few hours, and just see how you feel about consuming 4000 calories?! Not possible!! You have to put yourself in a position of power and safety. In our current obstetric system, the fact is, most women are not going to get anywhere near a natural birth without a LOT of preparation on their part. This is a totally natural, everyday event- but it is not viewed that way in this country nor is it seen that way by many obstetric surgeons. It is viewed as a disease and treated as such. The expecting mom must prepare herself mentally, physically, and emotionally for the life-changing event of birth. Here are a few tips that might help.
1. Take a good class-
I teach the Bradley Method (www.bradleybirth.com) so I am biased toward that method and I feel like it covers pretty much everything that you might need to know. There many other methods out there and some might work better for some women than another. If you are sure you want a natural birth, check out the childbirth class you are looking at and the teacher. Bradley keeps track of their medication rates and c-section rates, as do individual teachers. Some classes are going to prepare you for a natural birth. Some, (particularly hospital classes) are going to prepare you for typical interventions. They vary a lot in length also. You probably will not get all the info you need from a brief one day or one month class.

I love the 12 week format that Bradley promotes. Yes, yes, I know, that takes so much time, and you're broke, and it is a long drive to your teacher. Do not let yourself make excuses. A good class is worth it. Why? Your birth will change you forever. I promise you this. If it goes well you will start your mothering career out with confidence, a partner that admires your hard work and worked right along side you, and an alert and healthy baby that got the best start it could have in life. If it is a horrible and traumatic experience you will possibly, feel depressed and less confident in your mothering abilities and face a longer recovery. Many mom's who have traumatic birth's are injured and exhausted from the ordeal for many months. It takes many, many weeks to recover from surgical birth or a bad tear, sometimes even months. This is no fun when trying to deal with the 24 hour demands of a newborn who needs you even when you need sleep. Let us not forget also, that the first birth is going to effect our subsequent births. Not only may you have negative memories and emotional baggage to work through, if your birth ended in cesarean, it is incredibly difficult to v-bac in this country right now. Many Ob's and hospitals simply refuse to do it. Even many midwives are nervous about it. So, your first birth is important and worth the effort.
So- spend the money (or find a newer, less expensive teacher, or one who is willing to do trade or take payments) and take the time to take a good class. It takes time to make the good habits and lifestyle changes that you need to to be prepared for a natural birth. It also takes time to forget all the wrong things you have learned and to grow in confidence. Mom- if you are gung-ho and have read everything- still take a class!! It will give you a network of support in a world where very few mothers are knowledgeable about birth, it makes your husband learn, and it gives you time to incorporate relaxation, exercise, and diet into your life before you become high risk.
2. Read good birth books-
There is no excuse for not getting this information because it is out there. I have a list of my favorite books on my blog and many are available at the library or can be borrowed by you childbirth educator if you can't buy them.
3. Eat right
Becoming 'mysteriously' high risk (usually climbing blood pressure) is a very common reason for induction and everything that goes along with it. I have a link to the Brewer diet which will almost magically help you stay healthy, grow a healthy baby, and stay low risk. If you take a Bradley class you will learn about this in every class and get lots of tips. Most Americans eat like crap and do not even know how to eat right. This is worth learning and I believe it makes a huge difference in the health of the pregnancy and baby. You will probably not get this info from your care provider. I actually had a MD tell me that the only thing you needed to prevent birth defects was folic acid!!!! This is simply not true. A high protein diet (80-100 grams per day), rich in green vegetables, fruit and health whole grains will make you feel better, look better and grow a baby that is getting what it needs. Many of us are under the impression that the baby will "get what it needs" no matter what we do. The baby can't get something that is not there, and you will become high risk if you eat badly enough.
4. Carefully choose your care provider and birth place-
Take the time to research your OB or Midwife. Ask them specific questions. (Again, a good class will help you know what to ask) What is your c-section rate?- they usually know or at least should! Legally, hospitals have to publish their c-section rates so you can access that info. (Be careful as you read though, they often make the c-section rate look lower by not including repeat section, or c-sections for "good" reason. The overall rate is usually higher.) Ask around about them. Just because your sister loved Dr X does not mean you will. Many women like to schedule their births by induction or c-section or just like to be told what to do. They may love him, but you may hate him. Even with a midwife, check credentials, ask around, and pick one you like. This person is going to share an intimate memory with your family. I also like to have a midwife that gets along with my husband so there is no tension in the room when I am trying to have a baby!
Check out your place of birth too- For example, I lived very near a beautiful hospital in Dallas. It was in a wealthy area, and very clean and organized and well decorated. The staff was nice. They had a 95% induction rate, and a 50% cesarean rate (highest in the state) and everybody got continuous fetal monitoring, delivered on their back in stirrups, was not permitted to move, and had an IV. I do not know how many women I talked to who had their babies there because they just did not think it could happen to them. It can happen to you. Chances are, it will in our current system. If you are going to a hospital just because it is convenient, then you should seriously consider how convenient major abdominal surgery is. It is worth it to drive a ways for good care from somebody you trust who is practicing evidence based obstetrics.
Just a little plug- midwives have about a 10% transport rate for home births while the epidural rate in most hospitals is near 100% and the c-section rate is over 30% nationally. Where you choose to have your baby and who helps you have it is one of the biggest factors in determining how your baby will be born. It is not too late to switch providers until the cord is cut. Your birth is worth it and so are you and your baby.
Relax and believe!-
I know, I just scared you to death. But- your best friend is just being able to relax through labor and believe that you can do it. The belief that birth is painful and scary is so ingrained in our society that we really need to work through that. Even women who have had no bad experience with birth have internalized a lot of these negative ideas. As a culture we do not value women and their unique gifts- learn to value them and grow in confidence. And- practice relaxation every day!
Hope this helps- there is much more to know- but the info is out there- go find it!