Monday, January 30, 2012
Everything I Know About Natural Birth I Learned From Chuck Norris
If you know me in real life, you know I have an unhealthy love for Chuck Norris. Who could help but love a guy who is so awesome?!
Less known about Chuck are his thoughts on natural birth. Of course, I agree with him. Let's take a look.
~Since Mr Norris is incredible, he could of course give birth, even though he is a man. But he wouldn't because he respects women too much.
~But if Chuck did give birth, he wouldn't do it on his back. He COULD, because, let's face it, he can run around the earth fast enough to punch himself in the back of the head. But he WOULDN'T. Because nobody tells Chuck how to give birth. And if they did, they would regret it. For about 10 seconds. Then everything would go black.
~If Chuck gave birth, he would do it naturally. Chuck is a precision athlete. Death is afraid of him. This is not a man who believes in epidurals. The needle probably couldn't penetrate his spine anyway, but he wouldn't let it, because he knows that in order to experience peak performance, you must be free to move and free of drugs.
~An IV? NO WAY. First, needles can't puncture his skin. Second, Chuck drinks his fluid through his mouth, the way it was intended. Plus, who wants to look all bloated when filming Walker, Texas Ranger?
~Hospital gowns? Not on your life. Chuck's boots simply don't go well with hospital gowns. Plus, even Chuck Norris isn't taken seriously if you can see his tail end every time he walks down the hall. Pants always beats no pants.
~The words, "They Let Me" have never passed Chuck's lips. We are talking about a man who has dinosaurs HIDING FROM HIM (No, they are not extinct, they are hiding from Chuck Norris.) Chuck doesn't let anybody determine what he can or can't do. Chuck is in charge of Chuck. The End.
~Would Chuck allow a vaginal exam while he was pregnant? Would he even want one in labor? Are you kidding? Chuck knows that his baby will come when it wants to come. He doesn't need to know how dilated he is so that an expert can "guess" about time of birth.
Who is in charge?
Chuck-
Who stays clothed until he wants to get naked?
Chuck.
~Does Chuck allow somebody else to "predict" a "due date" for the Chuck baby?
WHATEVER.
Chuck's baby comes when Chuck's baby is ready. A man who can count to infinity twice, can have a baby come whenever he darn well pleases.
~Immediate cord clamping? Did you know Chuck Norris was in Star Wars? He was the FORCE. Why on earth would somebody like that want his baby to be denied any precious blood? No way in heck. The Chuck baby gets all the blood it needs, because everybody knows that stuff is powerful.
(Disclaimer- I am going to go ahead and stop here. It is apparent that the hour is late and I am losing my mind. For the record, I don't actually know, nor have I ever spoken to Chuck Norris. I have no idea what his thoughts are on natural birth, or if he in fact even HAS thoughts on natural birth. I made all this stuff up. I do enjoy Chuck Norris jokes, but I don't believe my love of them is actually unhealthy. This post may prove otherwise. But, even so, maybe you can read it to your husband. Men usually like Chuck Norris jokes.)
A Good Hospital Birth- And A Funny Hubby
I am so pleased to share this birth story from one of our mamas. She has been a wonderful presence on the Mama Birth Facebook page for some time and is always positive and kind. And of course, who doesn't love a nice Monty Python skit while in labor?!
Enjoy-
This was a hard pregnancy on me. I had morning sickness for the first 4 months along with insomnia. Those two don’t make for a happy pregnant mama. But they both passed and I was able to enjoy the next few months of pregnancy. When I was about 24 weeks pregnant, I started having some mild stress/activity related contractions which was really hard on me because I had two kids and was babysitting two kids at the time. I had to drastically change things and take it very easy for the next 3 months. My other two boys were late so I was partly expecting to run ‘late’ with this one but at the same time, with all the contractions I was having, I was trying not to get my hopes up that he might come early.
I had been having contractions for the past couple weeks but nothing consistent or painful. Wednesday the 1st of June, I got up and got the boys ready and decided to take them to the mall since they had been asking to go for quite some time. We walked around for about an hour and then went to the grocery store. After that we came home and stayed busy and moving around by made some cookies and banana bread.
I called to make an appointment to get pedicures for Husband and myself for Thursday since I told him I would go and get one with him before Baby got here. I made arrangements with my sister and she said she would take the boys for the night and then all day Thursday (since she wasn’t working), so Husband and I could get the pedicures and spend some time together-- just us.
Wednesday night, I took the boys over to my sisters and brought home some delicious Subway for Husband and myself. Yum! We went to Bible Study and as usual I was uncomfortable sitting in those pews, but it was ok. I knew this was coming to an end soon. After the Study, we went to get some ice cream with some friends-- and of course the usual “So when are you going to pop?’’ and also the “I think I would be pushing for an epidural! I couldn’t handle it…’’ phrases from the only single (and obviously uneducated) man at the table. My comment back was something along the lines of “well, that’s what makes women stronger” or something like that. Before we left, one of the ladies said “Hopefully you will be skinnier the next time I see you.” Good laugh at that one.
I woke up around 5:00 Thursday morning having contractions that were surprisingly consistent! I got up and took a shower just knowing that today was the day! I fixed my hair and did my make up… I was going to go in looking fabulous!! About 8am, I lost the mucus plug and knew that this was real.
For the past couple days I had the feeling I was “leaking” but didn’t even THINK that it could have been my waters. I went about my morning, finishing up some things I wanted to get done before we headed to the hospital. I needed to get laundry sorted for either my husband or sister to do while I was busy pushing a baby out, and I needed to clean my kitchen. Both tasks were completed and then we headed out.
When I got to the hospital, we waited for about 20 minutes and at 9:45 am, they called us back to get checked. They checked to see if my water had broken and how far dilated I was. I was very disappointed that I was only 1 cm. I thought for SURE (due to how long they were consistent and the increase in pain) I would be at least a 3. It was very heartbreaking for this woman in labor. The RN came back in and said that my water was in fact broken so I got to stay at the hospital!
This was it…. I wasn’t leaving till I had my baby in my arms. Oh I couldn’t wait!! I was so incredibly nervous and incredibly in pain but I knew that in a few short hours I would be holding a baby. MY BABY! The baby I had been growing inside of me for 9 months, who decided to break the pattern set in place by his brother and arrive one day before the “guess date” instead of a week late!
I am thankful this is where I part with the RN. If she would have been my nurse during labor, she would have probably been punched in the face. Maybe not that drastic, but my husband would have kicked her out and got me a new nurse. Right away, after she told me that my water was broken, she immediately told me I needed to get a pitocin drip to ‘speed things along’ since I was unsure how long my water had been broken and there was a chance I could get an infection which would stop me from dilating and then I would end up with a c-section. “and we know you don’t want that.” she said. (That’s where the punching part would have come in.)
I had never heard of an infection like that but I surely wasn’t going to just ‘ok’ the pitocin. I told her no, and she told me, quite rudely, with a frustrated tone, that my Dr would have to talk to me about it (but, when my Dr came in to check on me a couple hours later, did she mention anything about needing a pit drip? NO!! ) I texted a doula friend of mine and told her about it and she gave me the reassurance I needed to not freak out at the moment.
They sent me to a delivery room right away and there I met one of the fabulous nurses I would be spending the day with, Edie. We showed her my birth plan which she absolutely had NO issues with. For the first hour or so, we did the necessary paperwork and got settled in. She was very courteous when it came to my birth wishes and I agreed that once an hour for 20 minutes, I would be put on the monitor so they could check the baby.
After all the paperwork was done, we talked about the IV. I was GBS+ and therefore the antibiotics needed to be administered 2 times, 4 hours apart before baby came or hospital protocol was to immediately give baby antibiotics and keep the baby 48 hours for observation. NO THANKS! I’ll just make sure I get the 2 full doses. So about 10:30 I got my first dose. Thankfully, after the first dose I didn’t have to be hooked up to the machine for the next 4 hours (thank you heploc!)
After all the paperwork was done, we talked about the IV. I was GBS+ and therefore the antibiotics needed to be administered 2 times, 4 hours apart before baby came or hospital protocol was to immediately give baby antibiotics and keep the baby 48 hours for observation. NO THANKS! I’ll just make sure I get the 2 full doses. So about 10:30 I got my first dose. Thankfully, after the first dose I didn’t have to be hooked up to the machine for the next 4 hours (thank you heploc!)
During the first dose (which took an hour) I sat around and watched some TV, ate some of my “secret” food, and was left alone. My contractions were slowly getting more painful, but between that first dose and second dose, I was able to soothe myself by rubbing my back (I had horrendous back labor). The birthing ball was amazing! Sitting on that, while laying my head on the bed, with propped pillows everywhere allowed me to get a decent amount of rest while I could!
Husband had some things he had to take care of so he was out for a majority of the day, leaving me to labor in peace.
At 6:30, I called Edie into the room telling her my water had just fully broken. Yikes. THAT was a mess. It felt like it just kept gushing in waves forever! Edie asked me if I wanted to be checked and if so, if I wanted the OB on call to check me or wait until my Dr came up to check me. I was anxious at that point to see how far dilated I was so I told her to just go ahead and have the OB on call check me. I was only 3cm dilated. 3! That was it. I said, “Really?!” with a disappointed tone and look. I guess because I wasn’t laying on my back (like the previous two births) that was the reason that it kept gushing in waves.
They noticed that it was a light shade of not clear fluid, meaning that there was meconium present. My Dr came in and talked to me for a minute about it. She told me that since there was meconium that the NICU team would be present at the birth to make sure that he hadn’t inhaled any into his lungs. This meant that they would cut the cord immediately and I wouldn’t get the delayed clamping I had wanted., but all in the best interest of my baby. Of course I wanted my baby to be ok, so I told them that was fine and went on laboring.
They noticed that it was a light shade of not clear fluid, meaning that there was meconium present. My Dr came in and talked to me for a minute about it. She told me that since there was meconium that the NICU team would be present at the birth to make sure that he hadn’t inhaled any into his lungs. This meant that they would cut the cord immediately and I wouldn’t get the delayed clamping I had wanted., but all in the best interest of my baby. Of course I wanted my baby to be ok, so I told them that was fine and went on laboring.
( It wasn’t till afterwards I learned that isn’t a “true” emergency/ reason to cut the cord. Oh well… live and learn.)
But after that, things sped up tremendously. I went from a 3 to a 10 in just an hour and a half.
My Dr came in shortly after that and she stayed in there and helped me through the contractions, which was a huge relief for me. She helped me find a comfortable position to labor in was the toughest part. I HAD to have pressure on my back during a contraction so lying down was NOT an option. I ended up sitting the bed up all the way, sitting on my knees leaning my belly against it and laying my head at the very top. This was where the focus got serious. All day I had been praying through each contraction, which was an easy way to focus, asking God to just help me through each one. My breathing stayed smooth and slow and each contraction was a breeze.)
At this time, things were serious. NO ONE could talk to me, I had to tell myself-out loud- to focus- and then I prayed HARD that He would help me through each one, because now they were almost unbearable. I focused on each breath because if I didn’t, I would lose sight of everything and go into panic mode-- which happened a few times.
A little after 7 pm, Edie came over to introduce the new nurse who just came on shift to relieve Edie. Her name was Amelia. She was amazing-- So awesome and a perfect fit for me. While in the upright position, during contractions, she just stepped right in and started putting pressure on my back when I needed it. My poor husband, he tried, but just couldn’t do it right.
(And of course it was also about this time, that he brings the iPad over and plays this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcHdF1eHhgc
WHAT was he thinking!? He said he was trying to “lighten the mood” Ha!! Yeah, the iPad almost made a 3 story drop to the pavement. )
I think I stayed like that for about 30 minute before that position wasn’t working anymore, so I scooted to the end of the bed and sat on my crossed legs, rocking back and forth. I think this was the point where I started to fade, and wasn’t very coherent. I'm not sure if it was just because I was worn out or if it was my body’s way of dealing with the pain, but I would say “Pressure!” and immediately someone (Amelia or Dr Spears) would be at my back putting pressure on it. I don’t really remember the pain while I was in that position either. I was there till about 7:45
And then it came. The first urge to push! And then again. I lay back on the bed because my Dr told me that she had one patient fall off the bed and crack her head open and she didn’t want me to do the same. This was the time when I NEEDED to stay focused but found myself losing my focus and went into a slight panic state. As I lay there, in a panic, focusing wasn’t even in my thoughts anymore. I couldn’t control my body and from there I felt that I couldn’t control anything.
Dr Spears got her stuff ready and the NICU team came in, and before I knew it the urges kept coming. Dr Spears asked me if I wanted to try to push and at first I said yes, but then told her no… my body wasn’t ready. Almost, but not quite. After a few more minutes, it was time. There was no more holding back. My baby was almost here!!! After 7 or 8 minutes of my body doing all the work, we had a baby. 8:02 pm on June 2nd 2011, Logan Carl finally made it earthside.
Dr Spears got her stuff ready and the NICU team came in, and before I knew it the urges kept coming. Dr Spears asked me if I wanted to try to push and at first I said yes, but then told her no… my body wasn’t ready. Almost, but not quite. After a few more minutes, it was time. There was no more holding back. My baby was almost here!!! After 7 or 8 minutes of my body doing all the work, we had a baby. 8:02 pm on June 2nd 2011, Logan Carl finally made it earthside.
Dr Spears asked Daddy if he wanted to cut the cord and he said no. Then she asked me but I just couldn’t. I was too exhausted. The NICU team whisked him away but he was back in my arms 2 minutes later. In my arms, nursing happily. He was content. He nursed for the first hour and a half of his life. I was so happy to finally have him in my arms.
About 2 hours later, he was finally weighed-- 8lbs 2oz 21.5inches long. My biggest baby, my all natural baby.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Sisters In Birth- How One Sister's C-Section Led To Another Sister's Home Birth
This story illustrates how the impetus to have a home birth for many women has nothing to do with what celebrities are doing, and everything to do with how women are treated in the hospital. A tale of two sisters-
Enjoy-
Sisters and birth- Finnigin's (and Ozius's) Birth story
Before I can write my birth story for Finnigin I guess I need to write a pregnancy story. My story is so tangled in my sister's story.I found out I was pregnant with my third child when my younger sister, Merissa was at the end of her pregnancy with her first. (Yay! hand-me-down maternity clothes!)
She had decided to go the traditional route and have a hospital/ OB birth. I had always wanted to have a midwife and a homebirth but I guess I was scared of going outside the box of 'norm'. My Aunt had had all of her children at home including a set of twins, who weighed in at 6lbs 9 oz and 6lbs 11 oz! (My preemie daughter had weighed 6lbs 10 oz) but my Mom had had me and my 3 siblings in the hospital.
My sister Merissa 41 weeks |
Merissa had actually gone to her first prenatal visit and realized that HER Dr. Williams was the same Dr. Williams that had delivered all of us back in the 80s (I can't make this kind of stuff up).
She really liked her and was comforted by the fact that she was a very experienced Dr. and we knew that she had delivered my brother breech vaginally, which even then was uncommon. My sisters biggest fear was having a c-section (who ISN'T afraid of a c-section??) so she felt more comfortable knowing Dr. Williams was a veteran.
I was about eight weeks along when my sister went into labor. She was a week and a half past her due date and big as a house. After having contractions all night Saturday night she headed to the hospital about noon. Dr. Williams wasn't there and wouldn't be expected until the next day.
She was about 4 cm dilated and the first thing they did was break her water. My sister had been there less than four hours when the Dr. started talking about a c-section. We were all very much against that, which seemed to piss the Dr. off. The Dr. was horribly mean so of course the nurses followed suite. A little back story: My sister has severe anxiety and had been off her med through her entire pregnancy, so I think the mere mention of the word 'c-section' stopped her labor dead in it's tracks.
We mentioned this to the doctor,my mother and I, rather forcefully (I guess bitchy would be more accurate) which really incensed her. My sister had been adamant that she didn't want pain meds either. I went med free with my first son and knew from experience how hard it was to get the nurses AND doctors to respect those wishes, and it was no different for Merissa. A c-section looked more and more eminent.
I had to finally go home and take care of my two older kids. I wanted to go back but it was REALLY hitting me because my sister's fear was my fear. My Mom stayed with her while she labored all night. After telling the doctor off, she pretty much left Merissa alone. In a bed. By herself. ALL night.
The doctor told her she wasn't allowed to get up, and told the nurses she couldn't have anymore ice chips. I really feel like the doctor was trying to punish Merissa. She wasn't fitting into the hospitals 'plans". The next day Dr. Williams finally got there but Merissa was exhausted. She was stalled at 9 1/2 cm, hadn't eaten in over 24 hours and was starting to get delirious.
My beautiful nephew was born via emergency c-section Monday afternoon weighing in at 10lbs 3 oz.
Me 41 weeks |
......Oh yeah this was supposed to be My birth story LOL
I hurt so bad for my sister. I knew, KNEW that she could have done it. The doctor totally sabotaged her labor....but sadly that is a typical hospital birth. I still hadn't had my first prenatal visit and at 13 weeks finally MADE myself see an OBGYN.
She was nice, the staff was nice, I HATED it! It felt like the hospital. I never went back. My mom was disapproving about finding a midwife "Just go to the doctor like EVERYONE else." I started scouring the internet LOOKING. As I was looking I stumbled upon Multiple Blessings, a midwife who had helped deliver lots of twins, named Robin. She made me think about my aunt SO much, so I took this as the sign I needed and sent an email.
I know I must have sounded like a nervous wreck when we talked on the phone. Robin was SO reassuring. She soothed my fears like nothing else had. I was amazed that she came to my house for each prenatal visit.( 'You mean I don' have to leave my house?!") I had had high blood pressure with my first pregnancy and delivered at 36 weeks, so that was always an issue.
I learned so much about pregnancy being cared for by Robin. You would think that I would know all of this since I had two babies before this but doctors don't seem interested in educating their patients. The weeks went by and we developed a great relationship. Her student midwives, Jean and Heather would practice determining the baby's position on me (being a guinea pig is fun! lol) And my appointments felt like visiting with friends, not the emotional ordeal that doctors visits had been in the past.
My due date came and went. We looked back at my dates and figured out that my Oct. 8th due date was probably more like Oct. 15th. There is NOTHING more horrible than being 40 weeks pregnant and being told, Nope you have maybe 3 more weeks to go. Uhhhg I was miserable trying to take care of my kids and house. Getting my son on the bus was almost impossible.
A 50lb 4 year old with autism and a hugely pregnant Mommy who can't pick him up or chase after him don't mix well! :( My wonderful sister would bring the baby over and I would hold him while she got Emerson on the bus, or more accurately carried him to the bus while he threw an atomic meltdown because school was "YUCKEEEEEEYYYYY!" I don't know what I would have done with out her!
Okay now, after that novel of a back-story on to the birth story!
On Friday,almost a week after my 'new' due date, Robin checked me to see how my cervix was doing. 75% effaced and 1/2 cm dilated. I could CRY! (I think I did) So we were going to wait and see what happened over the weekend. After my appointment Merissa and I met our Mom for lunch.
I started having some good contractions while we were out but nothing too regular. In my head I kept thinking maybe tonight. It's got to be soon." ....YEEAAAH, I don't know why I was giving myself false hope. lol The contractions continued on like this ALL. Damn. Weekend. 8-10 minutes apart for 4 hours, then every hour, then nothing, and then start right back up again. I called Robin every time any little thing changed, bless her heart.
My husband works a rotating shift and he was starting up on the night shift Monday night. I was nervous to be alone with the kids in case business started happening. Monday night around 12:30 (Tuesday morning?) I called Robin because the contractions were getting more regular and intense. When she got to my house, she checked and I was fully effaced but only dilated to maybe a 2 1/2. (I could cry AGAIN) She had me take some Benadryl and said that was a good way to see if this was real labor or not. If it was the real deal then the contractions would continue and if not then I could at least get some sleep. She went home to get some sleep of her own and said to call back later with an update.
Well they continued to get more regular and intense I started walking around the living room. My couch is in the middle of the room so I just kept walking around and around. That afternoon Robin, Jean and Heather showed back up and we got down to the important business of waiting, again, more. ...waiting...
When Robin checked me again I think I was close to 6 cm dilated, which was progress but felt like not enough since I had been in labor since Friday and this was nearing Tuesday EVENING. Around and around that couch. Around and around. Everyone was just sitting, chatting, my kind of gathering.
My mom made a plate of fruit and cheese and every time I came around I would grab something. A bite of a strawberry, or pop a grape in my mouth. Every so often Robin would ask "Have you had a drink of water recently?" or 'When was the last time you peed?" I added a glass of water to my orbital path around the couch and made sure to yell it out every time I went to the bathroom(which was maybe every 10 minutes) TMI has no place when you are having a baby.
Jean asked if I need anything and what I really needed was a distraction. So out came the mad libs! Hilarious and sort of a mistake because it hurts to laugh during a contraction, but who CAN"T laugh during mad libs?? Very diverting. ;)
At this point I had not been left alone for even a second and felt very well taken care of. Finally Merissa showed up. She had been dealing with the children and had to wait for someone to take over before she could come.
I instinctively knew she had to be there for the birth. My Mom had been there for my first two hospital births but with Merissa's HORRIBLE, traumatizing experience I knew I wanted her to be with me. I mean it was her experience that had given my the push to look for something different. Something better. (hehe, push)
I think I must have relaxed a little after Merissa got there because everything started to happen all at one. I went to the bathroom and as I was sitting there, I hear, and feel this loud POP. (I think it was just in my head) Finally, my water had broken! By then another midwife, Joy, had arrived and I called for Robin. They both came and checked to make sure the water didn't have any meconium in it. As the next contraction came It was excruciating! It was time.
Heather and Jean had set up the birthing chair in my room, so Robin and Joy helped me get there. The birthing chair looks like a metal frame with a pink pool noodle on it for comfort. It was the best! As soon as I was on it I started pushing. I had a death grip on my sister's hand. She was counting and rubbing my back, just like I had done for her in the hospital all those months before. I think I was was on that chair for a total of 2-3 contractions and then, there is my sweet boy! 8lbs 14oz 22 inches long! It's not 10lbs 3 oz but that's still a pretty hefty baby!
Mind you it had been a mere EIGHT minutes since my water had broken. I held him until the umbilical cord stopped pulsing. All of us crying( my husband was there too, did I forget to mention that? lol)
Later my sister told me that being there, watching me have my baby in the MOST natural way, was like a healing balm to her memories of her horrible birth experience. Those two were her only reference of birth and they couldn't have been more night and day! Hope is the word.
I could get on my soap box and preach the poor treatment of women in the hospital system but I think my experience speaks for it's self. When people hear that I had a home birth the most common reaction is "Wow, you're BRAVE!" I don't think so. I think my sister is far more brave than me to have gone through what she has.....
Finnigin |
Ozius |
An 11 lb, 12 oz HBAC- Home Birth Equals Healthy Birth
Wow- Just wow. What an amazing birth. One thing I love about it is that it highlights how HEALTHY and SAFE natural birth can be. Natural birth and home birth isn't the option for everybody. But sometimes it is quite simply the safest and healthiest option for some women. Thank you to this mother and her mind blowing story! And thank you for sharing your journey with us!
First of all I just want to start off by saying...Trust your body and your baby always...Don't let anyone ever tell you that your baby is 'too big' to birth if it's not what you believe. No one knows your body and your baby better than YOU!Our little (BIG) baby girl is finally here! She arrived at 41 weeks and is super healthy and beautiful! I want to share a little bit of my birth history with you. My story starts almost 4 years ago with the birth of our firstborn son, Nolan. We had planned on a natural childbirth but all that went out the window upon entering the hospital and after 13 hours of labor and 3.5 hours of pushing Nolan was born via C-section due to baby being malpositioned. He was 8lbs. 5.5oz at birth and very healthy.
In July 2009 we found out we were expecting baby #2! We did all the right things and hired a doula and took Bradley Method classes and were preparing ourselves for an unmedicated VBAC....We almost got the birth experienced desired but plans went south, yet again when she wouldn't descend and after 21 hours of labor, 7 hours of pushing she was delivered via forceps at 10lbs. 5oz.
Both of these births resulted in very healthy babies but horribly awful and deathly allergic reactions in myself due to unknown meds given after the births. That is the short of my previous experiences. I knew that any subsequent births would not take place in the hospital...The hospital is for sick people, and I am not sick!
When we found out we were expecting for the 3rd time in April 2011 and we knew we would be be planning things differently. We knew that the best plan of action was for me to stay the hell out of the hospital and to have this baby in the comfort of our own home. After many struggles of finding the right midwife and dealing with supportive and then unsupportive OBs, we finally had the right birth team constructed and moved forward with our plans for HBAC (homebirth after cesarean). We hired an amazing midwife from Wisconsin and was also being seen by my OB since our midwife lived 4 hours away from us.
I had a great pregnancy and knew we would be expecting another rather large baby by term. At 40 weeks, I consented to an ultrasound/biophysical profile to check fluid levels on baby and got the news that they had expected baby to at least be 12 lbs. but were thinking she would be more in the 12-15 lb. range! An immediate repeat C-section was recommended and I got all the scare tactics of how baby would not make it and blah blah blah, "babies THAT big do not come out in one piece vaginally." Again, blah blah blah...That appointment did shake me up quite a bit and I really didn't know what to do at that point.
Obviously I wanted to do what's best for our baby but didn't quite know what that was anymore. I know there is a huge margin of error with late term ultrasounds but I knew baby was at least 10 pounds at that point and probably a little bigger. I got online and posted my story on the 'Birth Without Fear' facebook page and got hundreds of responses of people supporting me and cheering me on saying, I knew my baby and my body best.
My husband, Catlin also never lost faith, not for one second..After talking with him, our midwife and the rest of the world wide web we were back on track! I had weeks and weeks of prodromal labor and our midwife and her amazing assistant who is also an RN traveled to us to make sure all was well and to wait for labor to start since we knew it would be soon. This was Monday, the 9th, 2 days before 'real' labor. Okay, now moving to the good stuff..........
On January 11th at 5:00am I woke up to a very strong contraction that I knew was different from the ones I had been having for 3+ weeks..I went back to sleep and then 5 minutes later another one...even more intense. I flew out of bed and asked Cat to draw me a bath and told him what was going on...We headed downstairs and the contractions began to pick up. Got in the bath and told Cat to call the midwife (who was staying at a nearby hotel) just to let them know things might be happening.
He decided not to call since I had on/off regular contractions for weeks prior and he wasn't quite sure this was it...I, on the other hand knew we would be meeting our baby very soon. Contractions picked up right away to about 3 minutes apart and I was already having to vocalize through them.
I think at that point Cat finally agreed 'this was it' and he called the midwife. I knew at that point that THIS WAS IT! Midwife arrived at 8ish and immediately knew things were moving so they got their supplies set up and the birth pool filled. I got in at 8:30ish and tried to relax through contractions but was already beginning to feel the urge to push with each one.
This was amazing as it was something I had never experienced....you know, that urge to push...Something I was never able to feel in my previous births since I was all drugged up with the epidural...So happy to be at home this time....
Anyway, after having a few grunty pushes and switching positions frequently all of a sudden it felt as if my vagina was trying to throw up a bowling ball and I flipped from hands and knees leaning on Catlin to squatting and just kept ppuuuuuuuuusssssssshhhhhhiiiinnnnnngggggg!
POP!
I exclaimed, "SOMETHING BROKE!" (It as my water breaking) followed by AAAARRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!Catlin said to me in a very calm voice, "okay good, now let's try and not push through the next one so you save some energy."
I was like, "Are you freakin' kidding me??? I caaaaaaaaaannnnnnn'ttttttt stop, THE BABY IS COMING, I FEEL A HEAD!!!!!!After just 15 minutes of active pushing our little 'BIG' baby emerged into the water and Cat immediately placed her in my arms! After several minutes of pure bliss we thought, "what do we have?" Cat announced "It's a GIRL!!!" Tears filled the room.
She's here! She's healthy and in one piece, she didn't get stuck! I'm here and healthy and NO hemorrhage (like in the hospital). We waited for the cord to stop pulsating before clamping and cutting and the placenta came within 6 minutes after birth (all on its own). I began to nurse our baby girl right away and all was absolutely perfect...After a couple of hours of bonding we were anxious to see what this big girl weighed.....and here are her stats:
Vicki Jo
January 11, 2012
born at 9:47am after under 5 hours of labor and 15 minutes of pushing
11lb. 12 oz.
22 3/4"
Thursday, January 26, 2012
10 Pound VBAC? 5' 1'' Mama? Not Possible? Think AGAIN!
Small women can't birth big babies? Now that my dears is a big fat LIE. Just read this story. How better to introduce this than with this powerful mamas own words. "I think I will start with my 10 lb 2 oz VBAC. I'm a very short woman who was declared 'lucky' to have had a cesarean with my 9 lb first baby. Eyeroll. I showed them."
Enjoy
My oldest son was born by cesarean section in 2003 for breech presentation.
My second son was adopted in 2006.
My second son was adopted in 2006.
Riley Alexander
I was very pregnant with my third baby, and due on August 17th 2008. In the afternoon on August 12th I had a burst of nesting energy~I cleaned the downstairs bathroom including scrubbing the floor, and swept and tidied the rest of the downstairs. I wasn’t sure if this was nesting or not, but suspected it was because of the strength of my drive to clean, particularly compared to my preceding two months of all encompassing inertia with regards to cleaning my house. I wanted to ensure my midwife would see an adequately clean bathroom and an adequately tidy house.
Labouring in dirt sounded awful, too.
At 8:30 a.m. on August 13th, I got out of bed to help my older children set up a DVD to watch. While in their bedroom I felt a trickle of fluid run down each leg. Not a gush, but enough to get some on the carpet. I went to the washroom and on the toilet paper was a pink stained something~not mucousy, but definitely pink. So I waited an hour until 9:30 so as not to be rude or wake her up, and paged my midwife. J. was on pager that week. I wasn’t sure if my water had broken, or if I had lost my mucous plug. What I saw was a bit of both descriptions! I looked it up on the internet to be sure.
My husband Brent was sleeping off his final night shift so I didn’t tell him until he woke up at around 10:00 or 10:30. By then my mom, sister, and cousin knew. I tried to stay calm and keep my mind off of labour or babies in order to conserve energy for the task ahead. We went out to do a few errands. I had some mild, prelabour contractions but nothing regular or encompassing more than my front, lower abdomen, similar to the Braxton-Hicks contractions I had been having for months.
We bought my mother in law a Betta fish at PetSmart, dropped it off, went to London Drugs, and ate lunch at the Pita Pit. By that time the contractions were stronger and I was feeling a strong urge to be in a hands and knees position and for some privacy, so we went home. Brent took the boys out again, and I walked around, tried to lie down and relax, and listened to some music.
When Brent came back, at about 5 p.m., the contractions came more frequently and moved around my back as well as my front, down low. It became impossible for me to talk during the contractions quite early on. Then I knew it was true labour and not simply ‘false,’ or prelabour.
When true labour started, I needed to stand during contractions rather than be on my hands and knees. I got Brent to page J. again, and to call my mom and sister to come, and I called my best friend to come and pick up Matthew as preplanned. Brent packed Matthew a suitcase and got his car seat ready.
I tried to walk around because movement is good to keep labour progressing, but I was feeling confined to the bedroom and bathroom because with every contraction I started to leak more fluid so I tried to be in the bathroom when they came to protect my new carpet! I turned on my hypnobirthing CD. It was helpful for creating a positive head space for me, and for helping me relax even more than I already was. With each contraction I tried to relax my jaw, neck, shoulders, chest, abdominal, and perineum muscles. I breathed deeply and slowly to keep my uterine muscle and baby well oxygenated.
More oxygen means less pain for me and greater labour tolerance for baby. At the end of each contraction I took a deep, cleansing breath. I took it one contraction at a time and tried to move into a creative, intuitive frame of mind where I could lose track of time passing. One contraction at a time, I got closer to my baby.
J. arrived. I was in the shower. When I heard her arrive I tried to get out of the shower but got so cold that the next contraction was really painful, so I just got back in and figured she could see me naked! I’d not yet lost my sense of modesty.
J. was amazing. She talked to us, watched me labour a bit, and listened to the baby’s heartbeat with the Doppler. His heartbeat was strong, regular, and rapid. J. had an intuitive sense of what would be helpful touch: four fingernails at pressure points on my lower back, light back rubs, light pressure touch to my forehead and the back of my neck. She just knew what to do and when to do it. She administered via IV my first dose of antibiotics to treat Group B Strep. I gave her some tips on starting IVs that I have learned from my job (I'm a paramedic), since she indicated that she doesn’t get to start many IVs. I wanted minimal poking, so I gave her some tips!
In the shower I had a stool to sit on between contractions, and by the bed I had my exercise ball but it didn’t help. I really preferred to stand, though this was VERY tiring! At 10:00 p.m. my midwife asked to check internally to see if I was in early or active labour. If it was early, she would go to the home of my other midwife, J’s work partner and nap: active, she would stay with me. I was four to five centimeters, which surprised her because she said I was very relaxed and calm for someone in active labour.
Also, because my contractions were two to three minutes apart and only 45 to 50 seconds long. She commented that they were short but intense. She told me that the reason why I was progressing at the speed I was, was because I was so relaxed. It was good to know that I was doing well and progressing. It made me feel empowered and positive about succeeding with my plan to have an unmedicated, natural, vaginal delivery.
J.suggested going to the hospital before contractions became more intense and the ride became very uncomfortable for me. We left around 10:30. The drive was awful because I couldn’t stand up during contractions or move around, and the force of the car speeding up and slowing down was painful. I swore at Brent for making a joke and not letting it go when I didn’t laugh. Ayden was with us, as he wanted to be present for the birth of his baby brother.
The hospital maternity ward was full, but J. had told the staff over the phone that she could bring another midwife so we would only need a room and not a nurse, so they allowed us to come. I’m very thankful that the original plan was able to happen, with regards to the hospital I chose. We arrived and the security guard offered to find me a wheelchair but I just wanted him to leave me alone. We were able to go straight to my room. I paced. I tried to pee. I tried to drink water and sports drink, but I felt nauseous so I didn’t drink much.
My other midwife, S., arrived not long after. It was reassuring to see her, and I felt like everything could happen now that she was there. She was kind and reassuring. J. and S. did a half hour fetal monitor strip to have a baseline to monitor the baby from, as we had agreed upon in my prenatal visits. Women who have Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC) are routinely put on the External Fetal Monitor for early detection of uterine rupture, but I had refused this intervention because of the statistical ambiguity regarding its usefulness, and the high rate of cesarean section associated with its continuous use.
Instead, I opted to have a baseline assessment and intermittent fetal heart rate checks with the Doppler. I also refused the routine application of a large bore IV saline lock for women who attempt VBAC, because I did not want to labour with a saline lock in my hand. I knew the risk of uterine rupture to be low (0.4%) and the time frame in an emergency to be one that allowed time for IV access to be gained. I even joked that I volunteered to start an IV on myself if no one else could do it! The half hour of lying in bed with the fetal monitor on my abdomen was the most painful and difficult period of time in my entire labour. It was extremely painful for me to lie down during contractions. S. held my hand and talked me through it.
My sister arrived. My mom arrived. When my mom came in I had a moment of childlike need: I curled into her hug and whimpered, “Oh mom! It hurts!” She said “Oh Melissa, I know…” and then I returned to the business of labouring. I got in and out of the shower, and in and out of the bed. Sitting was really getting uncomfortable, even in the shower between contractions, but I was also getting quite tired so I used the bed a lot to conserve energy between contractions. The baby was doing great, tolerated labour like a pro.
I purposefully did not ask the time, look at the clock, or ask for internal exams. My cognitive mind wanted to know, to mark progress, but I knew I couldn’t think my way through labour. I had to be intuitive and function very much in the present moment. At one point I was in the shower and S. asked me a time-related question but I truly couldn’t even guess at an answer. I told her, “I don’t know. I’ve lost all sense of the passage of time.” She replied that it was good that I was in that space. It was the perfect mind space for giving birth.
Early in my labour I had emailed my closest friends and asked them to pray for me. During the intense part of active labour and transition I kept thinking of them. And I prayed. I had wondered if I would pray to Mary while in labour because of her femininity and experience with labour, but I didn’t. I prayed only to Jesus. ‘Help me. Make me strong. Oh, this is hard. Help me.’ This, I think, reflects my relationship with Him, because I spoke to Him and felt it entirely appropriate, felt heard, empathized with, and powerfully held. Positive. Right. I felt Him giving me strength and peace. I felt my friends’ prayers, too.
Labour was the most intense, laborious, fascinating, creative, spiritual thing I’ve ever done. The final two contractions I had in Stage 1 labour were so painful and overwhelming that I actually hit my head against the wall of the shower. Suddenly, my whole belly shifted and pushed down with incredible force. This surprised me! I waited for the next contraction and this time the force was even greater, and I let out a quiet yell. Brent came in. “Tell them I need to push!” I told him. He couldn’t hear me.
“PUSH! I need to PUSH!” I was irritated to have to repeat myself. S. came in and asked me about it and then asked me to lie on the bed for a second internal exam to determine if I was fully dilated. I was. There had been a small bulge of membrane with fluid trapped between baby and cervix at my first internal exam and J. ruptured it now, with my permission. I had only those two internal exams for my entire labour, which I appreciated. My second round of IV antibiotics was given to me on the bed sometime during transition or pushing, I’m not sure which.
After determining I was fully dilated, I had a lull in my contractions. Everyone helped me lie down to rest, and this “rest and be thankful” phase lasted approximately twenty minutes, although to me it felt like only three or four minutes.
For a long time, once my body began contractions again, J. let me go with my body. Mostly I tried pushing on my hands and knees in the bed for the first hour, resting in between as best I could. I think I was running out of creative steam—you would think I would try something new! Then I asked for help, because I wasn't getting anywhere. J. and S. started suggesting ideas. I pushed for awhile on the birthing stool but my left leg fell asleep very soundly.
So we switched to the toilet. But, firstly, I was so afraid of giving birth INTO the germy hospital toilet, though I knew this to be irrational and unlikely, and secondly BOTH my legs fell asleep on the toilet. So I returned to the bed and pushed for awhile on my side. I was frustrated and tired. It felt like I was getting nowhere—I knew the goal was to get the baby to “turn the corner,” and he was NOT turning the corner! J. kept saying I was making progress but I was frustrated that it was taking so long. An hour and a half more passed with these trial and error techniques and slow progress. Finally S. suggested I roll onto my back “like a turtle on its shell,” hold my knees up “by your ears,” and push that way. I was sweating so hard I could hardly see.
The first thought I had with this suggestion was, “that’s the least effective pushing position!!” But I trusted my midwife, so over I went. It worked!! Mom, J., and S. all cheered when the baby turned the corner in the next few pushes. I pushed for awhile in that position, until the baby’s heart rate dropped just a bit, to the low 90s. They had me roll onto my side again and his heart rate returned to normal. At one point I was holding my midwife's hand, at another Brent’s, and another my mom’s. I often reached out for a hand without looking up, so, once when I reached towards Brent and he didn’t take my hand I looked up and was grimly aware that he was asleep in the rocking chair beside my bed, sitting straight up. You know, because he was working so hard. Eyeroll.
Again I rolled to my back. Many times I felt the baby’s head push up over my pelvic bones during the contraction, and then slip back when it was done. Crowning was definitely a nerve-wracking sensation, but not very painful as I was numb from three hours of pushing. I truly didn’t fear or dislike the sensation because I knew the whole experience was very close to being finished when I felt it. My midwife got a mirror for me so I could see the baby’s head—but then I needed my glasses. They rolled me back onto my side and off came the glasses. On. Off.
When the baby’s head was just reachable I was able to touch it—very cool! And later when it was almost fully out I touched it, too. Soft, warm, and pretty wet! Then I felt his arms move inside the birth canal, just below my pelvic bones. I didn’t like that at all! More trauma to the tissues! But in retrospect it was a good signal that the baby was still doing well. I did small pushes when directed. I could feel small tearing at the top as he eased out, but nothing terrible nor more painful than the sensation of extensive stretching.
Pushing felt different once his head was out~I couldn’t really feel contractions anymore and it was harder to effectively push with less baby inside me. The baby’s head and body turned with some help from J., but another push and they could tell (a) he wasn’t doing well, and (b) he was stuck. I heard S. say, “Do you want her on her hands and knees?” and I thought 'shoulder dystocia!' J. reached in with the fingers of her left hand, hooked one under his armpit, and pulled as I pushed. She pulled him down and his top shoulder popped out, then up and his bottom shoulder popped out. She put him on my chest and the first thing I thought was, “Wow! He’s huge!” He was bluish grey, covered in amniotic fluid and blood, and I didn’t care at all. I laughed with total relief and joy.
S. very quickly rubbed him with a towel and then said, “He’s very limp!” in a firm, emergent tone. “Cut the cord!” she directed. The she directed Brent to pull the emergency call cord on the wall and shouted, “Limp baby!” over the intercom. The code team was called. Meanwhile I tried to talk to the baby, touched his head, and gave him one kiss before he was taken to the baby warmer for resuscitation.
A team of people came into the room. They assessed him. S. had started positive pressure ventilation with the infant bag-valve-mask, and the team continued. Someone said “Heart rate less than one hundred, start compressions!” and S. started compressions. [note: the heart rate for starting compressions on a neonate is less than 60.
Either he didn’t need compressions or the nurse misstated in the flurry of activity surrounding his resuscitation]. Approximately 30 seconds of compressions and 90 seconds of positive pressure ventilation, and Riley pinked up, started to breath on his own, and made a small cry. He was still on the limp side, but he was pink. The team suctioned his mouth, took blood samples, dried him off, and watched him for a few minutes.
During all this activity I was torn between euphoria that he was born and that I did it, and concern for him. I know some babies need resuscitation, and that the vast majority of those babies are just fine. I’m also very calm in emergencies. As a paramedic I have a lot of experience with them! I don’t ask, “what if” so I didn’t panic. But I was worried! Especially when it took some time for him to cry. We all breathed an enormous sigh of relief when he did. He was perfectly healthy and his 5 minute APGAR was 9/10, totally recovered from what happened in those final 2 minutes before birth. J. said his cord was compressed behind his shoulder when passing my pelvic bone during those final two minutes.
He crowned at 5:05 with a strong heartbeat, his head was delivered at 5:07, and his body was delivered at 5:09. By 5:24 he was back in my arms. I delivered the placenta before the team gave him back to me but after he was vigorously crying. The placenta was very cool to see and touch. It was strong and warm. Riley’s home and lifeline for nine months!
I was grateful to have the natural delivery that I had hoped for, and euphorically happy to meet my 10 pound, 2 ounce baby boy! I put him skin to skin on my chest and settled in for a cuddle. After about half an hour he wanted to breastfeed, and he stayed on my breast for the next hour. It was the most rewarding hour I’ve ever spent, getting to know Riley after having worked so hard all night to deliver him. It was a wonderful VBAC! I feel very proud of myself for pushing a 10 pounder out of my small, 5'1" frame! This was by far one of the coolest experiences I have ever had, and one I will cherish forever.
I included two photos of the moments right after the birth, and one photo of Riley at 3 years old, taken the day before yesterday. =)
I am editor of Mothers of Change but also have a personal blog http://www.vosefamily.blogspot.com
Having Kids Doesn't Mean You Can't Have "Standards" Any More
(Photo via http://www.cardiganempire.com/2009/02/petite-blooms.html) |
Oh yes. You know how people think that just because women have kids they stop putting on make up and let everything go? This is totally not true. I still have standards.
For example-
~In my house, you must be wearing underwear to participate in food preparation. Nobody likes toddler butt that much.
~I have makeup still. It is on the carpet. If I want some on my face, I just smear it on from the floor. Plus, then I don't have to buy those wierd foam triangles.
~I still dress up when I go out. I even bought myself NEW yoga pants today. Yeah. Sexy.
~Perfume? Of course. Mine is natural and biodegradable. It is called, "Baby Yack." It only costs 9 months of our life but quantities are limited.
~Messy floors? I just can't abide that. So the kids play a game where they pull each other around on blankets. Doesn't get the corners, but who looks there anyway?
~I used to make my own spaghetti sauce from scratch. I can't believe my stupidity. Now I buy it in a jar (glass of course, I do care about safety and aluminum KILLS!) and add some veggies.
~Totally still comb my hair. With my fingers.
~I decided not to waste money on trips to Africa. Instead I have free...zebra stripes...all over my body. Exotic.
~I don't have time to try on clothes in stores anymore, so now, I just hold them up and IMAGINE what they would look like. I am not really missing out on anything. I don't have time to look in the mirror at home anyway.
~I still clean my car. I mean, it is our most expensive possession. But now, instead of taking it to get detailed by 20 teenagers, I just hand each kid a bag and they fill it with either dirty clothes, trash, or toys. It is embarrassing when all three large grocery bags are filled.
~Lingerie? Who needs it. I have a greyish bra with "secret flaps." That is practically the same as wearing something from Fredrick's. Plus, it saves time.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The Reluctant Co-Sleeper
(Photo courtesy of http://katelyndemidow.blogspot.com/) |
I am going to commit a huge natural parenting faux pas and admit something....
I kind of hate co-sleeping.
I don't actually 100% hate it. There are lots of beautiful things about sleeping with your kids. But, since I am complaining (I will get back to the good stuff later) I should mention some things that make me think I won't miss this stage.
~Being squished
~Waking up numerous times a night as each of the four children wander into our room
~Sleeping sucking my stomach in with my arm at a wonky angle so that I can fit between two kids
~Did I mention that my husband is ginormous?
~Having one half of my marriage sent to the couch because we don't all fit in our bed
See, one baby can pretty much take over an entire bed! |
I know a lot of people talk about co-sleeping like it really saves sleep. This can totally be true, especially when a baby is little. I loved having my first baby sleep with us. Then when he was around six months he started kicking me in the back all night. Then when he was one and I tried to move him out of our bed I realized that signing up for sleeping with a baby might end up being signed up for sleeping with a toddler. When on earth would this end?!
Thus began my love/hate relationship with the "family bed." Sometimes I think that people who speak highly of it are just distant enough from it that they forgot about how little they used to sleep.
One thing that sucks about being me is that I always have to eat crow. For the record, it doesn't taste good.
I remember that distinctive flavor when I started to dislike co-sleeping. I had told a friend that I didn't understand why anybody would NOT co-sleep (this was probably BEFORE I actually had kids). They must have been bad parents. Oops....then I was one of them.
There has pretty much been a baby or toddler in our bed for the last seven years. Let me tell you, it started to get old. Every night my husband would take that long walk out to the couch so that he could get some sleep after a few kids had jumped on board.
And I would start to look forward to that far away day when just my husband and I could sleep in our bed.
And no, it would NEVER smell like urine.
But today, I got to eat crow again.
I went with my hubby to visit a friend who is in a "home." You know those places. Elderly people who are "rehabilitating." A maze of huge hallways, strange noises, and often very lonely grandmothers and grandfathers.
We went late, since that was the only time we could get away together, and most everybody was already tucked in for bed.
I couldn't help but notice that in the room next to our friend was a tiny grandma....but she was co-sleeping!
"What?!" I thought. "Why does this grandma have a baby? And why is it in bed with her?"
A closer look showed that the "baby" was just a doll. Little grandma was tucked in at night with her own life-size baby doll atop her.
Snuggled up, co-sleeping, even though....she didn't have a REAL baby any more.
I showed my husband.
"We need to go home and hug our babies," he says to me.
Oh, the things that get tiresome for parents of young children.
Always being needed. Always getting hugs. Always feeling loved. Always being crawled upon. Always having three people who need to tell you something IMPORTANT- right NOW!
Oh yes, and always having somebody who would rather be in your arms, than anyplace else.
Maybe someday I will be like that little old lady. Maybe I will have my own doll to sleep with me when all my babies are gone and I am forgotten somewhere dreary and lonely.
I hope I at least can take with me warm memories of soft arms and dimpled mouths, and babies that felt best when they were snuggled up next to me.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Birth Center Water Birth (Graphic Crowning Picture)
Of course I love a joyous natural birth, especially after an epidural birth. But what is really cool about this story is that even though this mama and her family are done having babies- she is pregnant again! This time as a surrogate for a loved one. What a wonderful friend! She is planning another natural birth. Read the whole thing- there is a FABULOUS graphic picture in there.
Enjoy!
You can check out her blog here.
With that disclaimer....
Six weeks ago today my son Zoodle was born. I want to be able to go back in future years and read a long, detailed story of the labor and delivery, and I love to also share that story with others. Here it is.... Settle in with a cup of coffee as it'll take awhile to read.
On Friday, March 28 (1 week before my due date), I awoke very early in the morning with uncomfortable contractions. I had many contractions through this pregnancy but I knew they were getting harder, even a little painful. Excited, I got up and started timing them. Within an hour or two they went away, but before I went back to bed I went to the bathroom and saw a bit of bloody discharge so I knew labor might be close. Later in the day I spoke with Christina, my awesome doula (labor assistant), and she felt that with all the symptoms I was having, labor would be coming soon.
I did not have a lot of contractions Friday. I decided to go ahead and go across town for a ladies' game night. I wasn't driving and figured if I went into labor there, my friend who had driven me could likely get me to the birthing center in time. I had a couple of uncomfortable contractions during the event, sporadically. After the longest game of Yahtzee! in history, we left and returned home some time after 11. The Engineer and I got to bed about midnight.
At around 2:30 a.m., I awoke to a very uncomfortable contraction. (Let me insert something here. Because I needed to be in a positive mindset for natural childbirth, I got in the habit of using the terms "uncomfortable" and "intense" instead of painful. But I'll say it here. Yeah. It HURT.) I knew I couldn't sleep through contractions of that intensity, and I was very excited at the possibility of this being "it", so I got up. I started timing the contractions and soon told The Engineer I might need him to help me through them. He didn't say much. Before long I fully woke him up to let him know I wanted his support through the contractions.
The Engineer was, unfortunately, exhausted. He got up but was in a terrible mood and so tired he didn't feel like he could physically make it through the day if he stayed up. I sent him back to bed. Angry and disappointed, I called Christina. Thank goodness for a great doula. She calmly helped me understand that not only did The Engineer genuinely need rest, I did too. She encouraged me to understand where he was coming from, and to also try to rest myself. Feeling more at peace again, I lay on the couch for a bit then moved into our bed.
Interestingly, after The Engineer went back to bed, my contractions slowed considerably for about half an hour. I think it was my body's response to the stress of being angry. Having been induced with Pitocin with my first child, it was fascinating to see my body's response to natural labor.
After a couple of contractions in bed, I knew that laying down was not comfortable for me. I got up and moved to the tub where I knew I could probably relax better. Laboring in the tub, early in labor, sometimes slows things down or even temporarily stalls labor altogether. At this point, though, I knew I needed as much rest as possible and, knowing my labor with Chickie had been under five hours, I was okay with this labor slowing down.
The water really helped and I was able to rest. My contractions were not too close, maybe an average of every 10 minutes or so. But they were very irregular through the entire labor. I might have a contraction, another one four minutes later, and another fifteen minutes later. I never got into a regular pattern.
The Engineer is the worship leader at our church--he plays guitar and sings. I sing too and I know how singing worship songs can soothe my spirit and relax my body. We had talked about worshiping during labor; I'd even chosen quite a few calming worship songs. Even though The Engineer was still resting, I decided to go ahead and try singing through my contractions. It really did help calm me. The song I mostly sang is one called "You Are My King" by Brian Doerksen.
You are my King
And I love You
You are my King
And I worship You
Kneeling before You now
All my life I gladly give to You
Placing my hopes and dreams in Your hands
I give my heart to You
And I love You, I love You
Jesus, yes, I love You, I love You
Jesus, my King
Let me tell you, my voice is not at its best when I'm in the middle of an "intense" contraction, but I am so glad this was one way I dealt with the discomfort. I felt so connected to God as I sang to him, and when singing required too much concentration as the contractions got harder, I started just praying, crying out to God. Nothing fancy or eloquent, just things like, "God, help me! Thank you, Jesus, thank you. I know you created my body to do this." The intimacy with God through this labor and delivery was precious and amazing. Experiencing something so intense yet so miraculous made me appreciate God as my Creator in an incredible, unique way.
At around 5 I woke up The Engineer. He was ready to get up and support me, and I'm glad he got some sleep so he was able to truly "be there" through the rest of the labor and delivery. The Engineer was already somewhat awake, having been hearing me praying (sometimes loudly!) through the contractions. He was under the impression that labor wasn't too hard yet since I could still "talk through" the contractions. I had to explain to him that the type of praying I was doing was not the same as holding a conversation! It was more akin to "vocalizing" or "moaning"; it just happened to include words. That helped him understand that I was indeed already in an intense phase of labor.
I also called Christina and let her know I'd like her to come. She said she could be there in an hour to an hour and a half. I stayed in the tub. Contractions were sure becoming difficult. The Engineer was getting ready, showering, getting together last-minute things for the birthing center, and passing Chickie along to a great friend who came to pick her up. I was so relieved when Christina got there about 6:20 because with all the practical things that needed to be done, The Engineer was busy. Christina was able to really support me through the contractions.
Right before Christina arrived, I'd had to poop, and I am apparently not one of those women who likes laboring on the toilet! It felt awful having a HUGE contraction on the toilet, and when she came in I was in the middle of one of my few panicked moments, crying, "This baby's coming!" I didn't feel he was coming immediately but could tell labor was really intensifying. I considered getting back in the tub but decided to try walking around. I found that leaning on the kitchen countertop with Christina using her hand to put lots of pressure on my lower back really helped make the contractions bearable. She was wonderful--knew just how to touch me and talk to me.
We started talking about going to the birthing center. A midwife had told me to come when contractions were 3-5 minutes apart for an hour, but I was still in the middle of all these strange, irregular contractions. They had gotten closer especially once I'd left the tub and were probably averaging 5 minutes apart or less, but there was certainly still no pattern. However, I was feeling that things were intense enough that I would be more comfortable traveling at that point rather than later, so we decided to get going. I wanted to "settle in" at the birthing center.
As we prepared to leave, The Engineer was trying to get everything together. We came outside, and he ran back in to get the video camera. I had a hard contraction leaning against the car and had another opportunity to be so glad Christina was there to help me through each contraction. The Engineer and I got in the car, and he realized I didn't have my body pillow. He wanted to go in and get it and I insisted that we LEAVE instead! Things were really getting intense, but I still didn't think birth was that close because of the irregularity of the contractions.
We left at 6:50 and arrived at the birthing center at 7:10. The trip there was not too bad. I had four or five contractions on the way there. It actually seemed things were a little less intense than they had been, probably due to my body's adrenaline and its unwillingness to have a baby in the car!
When we arrived at the birthing center, I got out of the car and immediately had a long, hard contraction. (I think it had a double peak.) It seemed I was leaning on the hood of the car forever! I remember something odd and beautiful from this moment. I heard birds singing, and I thought about how I would soon be hearing my baby crying. What a wonderful thought to have during a contraction.
As I was having this crazy contraction (which Christina later told me must have been the start of my short transition phase), Roswitha, the midwife on duty, came out of the birthing center. She said with a smile, "Oh, this is the real thing, isn't it?" When the contraction was over, Roswitha and Christina helped me into the birthing center while The Engineer got all our "gear" and came in. Roswitha said we could bypass the examination room and go straight to the birthing room. It was a relief to hear that my labor was obviously "real" enough that I wouldn't be leaving! I was the only person there on this lovely Saturday morning, so I was able to choose which room I wanted. I chose the Santa Fe room. (Pictures below!)
Once we got in the room, I quickly had a couple more highly intense contractions. I asked Roswitha, "Do you have to check me?" Of course she did! She got set up quickly, and I lay on the bed. Roswitha put her hand inside me and got a funny, surprised look on her face. I dreaded hearing that her surprise was due to me only being a few centimeters dilated. Instead, she said, "You're complete! Your cervix is gone! The only thing holding that baby in is the bag of waters."
That was the best moment of the labor itself (not including delivery!) I was so incredibly relieved that my difficult, intense journey was almost over. WOW! On the next contraction I said, "I need to push! I have to!" I had read so many birth stories where women were told not to push, that I felt the need to defend my desire to push! Of course there was nothing to stop me, and I was encouraged to follow my instincts. I began to push on my hands and knees on the bed.
Roswitha was filling up the tub, and I wasn't sure I wanted to get in, but decided to try. Once the temperature was comfortable, I got in. Immediately I knew I wanted to stay; my heavy body felt so much better in the tub. I was still feeling good in between the intense contractions, smiling and excited.
Pushing itself, however, was really hard for me. Many women say pushing is a relief and isn't painful but for me it was very painful, very uncomfortable. It was also amazing, the most powerful force my body has ever felt. While I gave lots of effort to the pushes, my body was pushing on its own with an incredible energy. I was roaring with the intensity of the pushes. I asked if the loud noises were hurting my progression in any way, and Christina and Roswitha suggested that while they didn't mind me making noise, I might be wasting energy that could be helping my pushing. I began to try to be quieter during the pushes, though loud, grunting roars still felt necessary at the end of most pushes! Thankfully my awesome husband was able to cool me off with a washcloth during and between pushes. He was so sweet. I even had him squirt water on my head from my water bottle at one point. (I think his response when I asked for that was, "You want me to what?")
In the tub I began pushing on my hands and knees, and Roswitha and Christina then suggested I try pushing sitting down. I sat, leaning back in the corner of the tub and pushed that way, and it felt like a good position. I remember repeatedly putting my hand down there to see if I could feel a head. Finally after perhaps 15 minutes of pushing during contractions, Zoodle was crowning! Here is where I am so, so thankful to have been attended by a midwife who is skilled at helping to keep women from tearing. She told me to stop pushing. Let me tell you, that was difficult! My body and mind wanted to push, and by that point I just wanted the baby out. But I was able to follow instructions, and when she guided me to push his head out, it came out gently enough that I did not tear at all. Hip hip hooray! Let me tell you, I have sure been glad for that blessing these last six weeks!
It was odd, sitting there with the head out. The contraction was over once the head was out, so I needed to wait for another contraction to push the body out. And there was my baby's head, sticking out of my body, underwater! Very strange! I asked, "Is he okay?" I was assured he was. He wasn't breathing yet, and he was probably more at peace in that warm water than he would have been with his head just sticking out in a cold room! (Interestingly, the head came out sideways! Zoodle never got around to "anterior" position and always stayed in the left-facing position he'd been in for months.)
On the next contraction, I pushed out his shoulders and his body. What an awesome sensation. I still remember the feel of those shoulders emerging from me, followed quickly by his little body. I am so glad to have experienced that, since I didn't have a lot of sensation with my first birth, due to the epidural. Zoodle was born at 7:45 a.m., 35 minutes after we'd arrived at the birthing center, and he immediately cried when I pulled him out of the water.
I could tell you my first feeling upon Zoodle's birth was joy, but it wasn't. It was relief! After the difficult contractions and the incredible intensity of pushing, I was so relieved that it was over. That was immediately followed, however, by delirious joy. Seeing the pictures, I must have been bawling, though I don't remember that. I just remember saying things like, "Thank you, God! Thank you for creating my body to do this! Thank you for this beautiful baby!"
They quickly wrapped him in a towel and put a cap on his head, and I think they let the water out soon thereafter. I held him joyfully. The umbilical cord stopped pulsating, and they clamped it so The Engineer could cut it. My memories are a little hazy at this point. I know that at some point they dried off Zoodle better and handed him to his daddy, who held him with joy and pride. I delivered the placenta without a problem, and they helped me out of the tub and onto the bed for a very successful first nursing session.
In between the delivery of the head and the rest of the body, the postpartum assistant, Tori, arrived. (Postpartum assistants usually also act as labor assistants, but she couldn't get there quickly enough!) Christina and Roswitha both lovingly helped support me after the birth, and Roswitha filled out paperwork, weighed Zoodle, and did other tasks unobtrusively. After a couple of hours, both Christina and Roswitha left, and Tori stayed with us.
Tori was amazing. She encouraged The Engineer and me to cuddle in bed with Zoodle to get sleep and to bond as a family. While she of course took care of necessary tasks such as taking vital signs and helping me take a shower, I sensed that her top priority was helping us settle in and bond. What an amazing post-partum experience!
With Chickie after the initial thrill of the birth, I quickly felt disconnected from her. I think the medicated birth combined with the "clinical" hospital atmosphere both contributed to that. I gradually bonded with her over the first few weeks and thankfully that disconnected feeling did not last. But with Zoodle, the birth itself and the post-partum care were so intimate and beautiful that I felt bonded with him from the first moment. I can't tell you how special that was.
After about 7 lovely, peaceful post-partum hours, we headed home.
I remember saying after the birth, "Well, I'm so glad I did it naturally, but I'm glad I don't ever have to do it again, since this is our last baby!" It was so intense and, yes, painful. But now that I've had six weeks to mull it over, I am of course experiencing a little amnesia when it comes to the pain, and I find myself a little sad that I don't ever plan to experience birth again. Our family feels wonderful with four people, so it's not that I am finding myself wanting more kids. It's just that the amazing intimacy I felt with God and with my baby at birth won't ever be replicated by any other life experience. I am so blessed and thankful to have had such a beautiful birth.
Now for pictures!
The beautiful Santa Fe room at the beautiful birthing center:
Happy in the tub (BETWEEN contractions!)
My awesome husband wiping my forehead with a cool washcloth:
The Engineer continuing to support me, after I'd changed positions:
Giving birth to the head--you can see the face pointing to the right (my left):
Joyfully crying over my perfect little boy:
Getting to know Daddy:
Our first nursing session. Isn't that the face of a happy mommy?
Me, The Engineer, and Zoodle before leaving the birthing center:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)