Please don't think my kids are always bratty- they are really quite wonderful, MOST of the time.
Example 1- Give choices so your kids can make decisions without feeling cornered. For instance:
Your child wants candy but that isn't acceptable right now.
In the parenting advice:
Child: "I want CANDY!"
Mom: "Oh honey, you can either have an apple or an orange. Which would you like?"
Child: "Umm- I want an orange! Thanks!"In my house:
Child: "I want CANDY!"
Me: "Well sweetie, you can't have candy right now. But you can have an apple or an orange. Which would you like?" The child looks thoughtful. Surely they are falling for my parenting wisdom. BAM!
Child: "I want CANDY! What is all this apple/orange talk?!"Me: "Well, you can't have candy, but you can have an apple or an orange."
Child: "CANDY!"Repeat until I feel a headache coming on.
Example 2: Natural Consequences- Your child wants to go outside in shorts and a T-shirt when it is cold outside. Let them try it out, they will make a good decision.
In the parenting advice:
Parent: "Umm, it is 40 degrees out, you think a sweater and pants might be a good idea?
Child: "No- I am warm enough."Child goes outside for 30 seconds and then returns to put on some warm clothes. Mom is so smart!In my house:
Me: "Honey. It is cold outside. Don't you think a jacket might be a good idea?"
Child: "No- I feel fine."
I go ahead with the natural consequences and they go outside in their shorts. Of course they will be right back inside.
Ummm....no. Apparently my children have abnormal internal thermometers.
They play happily for 2 hours in the cold.
I actually used to do these natural cold weather consequences. Then one day my son went to the park and played for two hours in shorts and a t-shirt until it actually started hailing. At that point I was like- "I don't care if you feel fine, you are wearing a jacket!" He got so sick the next day. That was the end of that. I now put my foot down when it comes to jackets.
Example 3: Kindness and cooperation- do good deeds for your children and they will choose to work with you.
In the parenting advice:
Parent: "Let's pick up these toys together! I love it when you help me clean up."
Child: The child sees how much fun you are having cleaning and decides to join in. They won't want to miss out!
In my house:
Me: "Let's pick up these toys together! I will start. Don't you want to help?!"
The kids: They happily watch as mom picks up all the toys alone. How awesome is this! They didn't have to do a thing! Mom is so nice today!
(What was that? Did I just witness fist bump while I was getting toys from under the couch and joyfully singing some stupid song about cleaning up? I think I did!) Enter crazy mom from stage left...
Example 4: Distraction can be a powerful tool when your kids want to do something that isn't acceptable.
In the parenting advice:
Child: "I want to go to Vivan's house!"
Mom: "Not today. But we can make cookies together!"
Child: "Yummy! I love cookies."
Thus ensues a lovely hour of bonding and memories and organic cookies.
In my real life:
Child: I want to go to Vivian's house!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mom: "We can't go today, I have lots to do at home. Sorry. We will see her soon at playgroup."
Child: "But I want to see Vivian!!!!!!!!!!"
Mom: "How about we make cookies together?"
Child: "OK (In whiny voice). Can we go to Vivian's house yet?"
"When are we going to Vivian's?"
"When does playgroup start?"
"Can we call Vivian?"
Repeat.
Repeat again.
And again.
You get the picture.
(Note- I think the persistent whiner is actually the hardest to deal with. And I have one. Sometimes I just want her to throw something and get over it already. She can whine for at least an hour and a half.)
Somebody tell me I am not the only one whose children don't respond appropriately to fantastic parenting techniques. Anyone?
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