The Myth of No Pain

"We have built great pharmaceutical empires bent on masking, subduing and eradicating pain, even emotional pain, from our lives. We are taught to view pain as an enemy, not a teacher. But pain is the right hand of growth and transformation. Pain is in the history of all human wisdom." 
- Ani DiFranco
As quoted in the forward to "Birth Matters" by Ina May Gaskin

I had a friend recently who had a most horrible thing happen in her life.  Probably the worst thing that could ever happen.  Her doctors gave her medications to stop the pain.  She self medicated with alcohol.  You couldn't blame her for wanting to feel a little less of what was happening.

But I don't know if it worked.  She took her life eventually with some of the same medications that were meant to dull the pain.  I don't know if she finally escaped it.  I hope she is at peace now.  (I am not discouraging the use of medications or coping mechanisms for dealing with mental anguish.)

It made me think though about our desire to escape pain of any sort- emotional, physical, mental, whatever.  I know I want to escape it sometimes.  Obviously my opinions are influenced by my basic beliefs, but I don't know if we can always get away from pain.  I am not sure we are even supposed to.

Maybe sometimes we are just supposed to hurt....and then find ourselves still going.   Maybe it helps us realize how strong we really are. 


Over and over I hear the sentiment expressed that "Women don't have to feel pain in childbirth.  There are drugs available to stop that in this modern day and age.  There is no shame in using them."

For the record, I don't think there is any shame in using birth medications or pain relievers.

But I do think it is false that you can actually totally avoid pain- in birth or in life.   Oh you can try.  People do  that all the time.  I just have my doubts about how effective they actually are at accomplishing it.

We can skip the labor altogether and schedule a c-section, but there is still a recovery involved, and many women claim that the recovery is worse from a surgical birth than from a vaginal one.  

We can numb the body at the time of birth with an epidural, but then we lose the ability to actually deal with the pain physically and move and listen to it.  We might end up with more severe physical damage like deep lacerations that could have been avoided with position changes or better baby positioning that is only possible when mom is mobile.  

We can take the edge off with intravenous medications, but they will influence our mental awareness of the situation and our emotional ability to handle the sensations. 

We can take pain killers after the birth to deal with the injuries and recovery of the birthing process, but they may pass through our milk, or make us unaware of when we are pushing ourselves too hard.

I think that Ms DiFranco just might be right.  We look at pain in the wrong way.  We see it as an enemy to be conquered, defeated, and eliminated.  We think that it has no purpose, nothing to teach us or warn us about.

Maybe it is a teacher.  A transformer.  Something that brings wisdom and self knowledge if we are able to survive it.  Maybe there is more to pain that what we see on the surface.

I am young and relatively free of pain.  I don't know if these ramblings really apply to life as a whole.  I certainly wouldn't want to live in daily, excruciating, encompassing pain.  That isn't something that I can really even fathom,  and when I have felt it- my impulse is to just run away.

I don't know about all of that.  But I do think I know about labor.  I don't think we are supposed to run from it, numb it, or try to make it disappear.  We can try, but there will always be a consequence when we do.

There are no free passes in birth.  Each action has a consequence.

Sometimes we may even find that the consequence of quashing labor pain ends up being increased pain when we are trying to care for our baby.  Sometimes it means physical damage that doesn't ever heal.  For some women it means numbness that doesn't go away. 

Labor pain IS different than some of the other pains in life.  It DOES have a purpose.  It IS a teacher.  It is TRANSIENT.  And when we are able to accept it and deal with it and let go it does make it easier and faster.  The sensations of labor are meant to be IN labor.  Not after.