Sounds easy enough, right?
When I talk to first time mothers to be I often find that they like the idea of natural birth, but just want to wait and see what happens and if they "can" have one. Yes- and if you are trying to lose ten pounds, are you going to go to your favorite chocolate store, on an empty stomach, hang out for a few hours, and just see how you feel about consuming 4000 calories?! Not possible!! You have to put yourself in a position of power and safety. In our current obstetric system, the fact is, most women are not going to get anywhere near a natural birth without a LOT of preparation on their part. This is a totally natural, everyday event- but it is not viewed that way in this country nor is it seen that way by many obstetric surgeons. It is viewed as a disease and treated as such. The expecting mom must prepare herself mentally, physically, and emotionally for the life-changing event of birth. Here are a few tips that might help.
1. Take a good class-
I teach the Bradley Method (www.bradleybirth.com) so I am biased toward that method and I feel like it covers pretty much everything that you might need to know. There many other methods out there and some might work better for some women than another. If you are sure you want a natural birth, check out the childbirth class you are looking at and the teacher. Bradley keeps track of their medication rates and c-section rates, as do individual teachers. Some classes are going to prepare you for a natural birth. Some, (particularly hospital classes) are going to prepare you for typical interventions. They vary a lot in length also. You probably will not get all the info you need from a brief one day or one month class.
I love the 12 week format that Bradley promotes. Yes, yes, I know, that takes so much time, and you're broke, and it is a long drive to your teacher. Do not let yourself make excuses. A good class is worth it. Why? Your birth will change you forever. I promise you this. If it goes well you will start your mothering career out with confidence, a partner that admires your hard work and worked right along side you, and an alert and healthy baby that got the best start it could have in life. If it is a horrible and traumatic experience you will possibly, feel depressed and less confident in your mothering abilities and face a longer recovery. Many mom's who have traumatic birth's are injured and exhausted from the ordeal for many months. It takes many, many weeks to recover from surgical birth or a bad tear, sometimes even months. This is no fun when trying to deal with the 24 hour demands of a newborn who needs you even when you need sleep. Let us not forget also, that the first birth is going to effect our subsequent births. Not only may you have negative memories and emotional baggage to work through, if your birth ended in cesarean, it is incredibly difficult to v-bac in this country right now. Many Ob's and hospitals simply refuse to do it. Even many midwives are nervous about it. So, your first birth is important and worth the effort.
So- spend the money (or find a newer, less expensive teacher, or one who is willing to do trade or take payments) and take the time to take a good class. It takes time to make the good habits and lifestyle changes that you need to to be prepared for a natural birth. It also takes time to forget all the wrong things you have learned and to grow in confidence. Mom- if you are gung-ho and have read everything- still take a class!! It will give you a network of support in a world where very few mothers are knowledgeable about birth, it makes your husband learn, and it gives you time to incorporate relaxation, exercise, and diet into your life before you become high risk.
2. Read good birth books-
There is no excuse for not getting this information because it is out there. I have a list of my favorite books on my blog and many are available at the library or can be borrowed by you childbirth educator if you can't buy them.
3. Eat right
Becoming 'mysteriously' high risk (usually climbing blood pressure) is a very common reason for induction and everything that goes along with it. I have a link to the Brewer diet which will almost magically help you stay healthy, grow a healthy baby, and stay low risk. If you take a Bradley class you will learn about this in every class and get lots of tips. Most Americans eat like crap and do not even know how to eat right. This is worth learning and I believe it makes a huge difference in the health of the pregnancy and baby. You will probably not get this info from your care provider. I actually had a MD tell me that the only thing you needed to prevent birth defects was folic acid!!!! This is simply not true. A high protein diet (80-100 grams per day), rich in green vegetables, fruit and health whole grains will make you feel better, look better and grow a baby that is getting what it needs. Many of us are under the impression that the baby will "get what it needs" no matter what we do. The baby can't get something that is not there, and you will become high risk if you eat badly enough.
4. Carefully choose your care provider and birth place-
Take the time to research your OB or Midwife. Ask them specific questions. (Again, a good class will help you know what to ask) What is your c-section rate?- they usually know or at least should! Legally, hospitals have to publish their c-section rates so you can access that info. (Be careful as you read though, they often make the c-section rate look lower by not including repeat section, or c-sections for "good" reason. The overall rate is usually higher.) Ask around about them. Just because your sister loved Dr X does not mean you will. Many women like to schedule their births by induction or c-section or just like to be told what to do. They may love him, but you may hate him. Even with a midwife, check credentials, ask around, and pick one you like. This person is going to share an intimate memory with your family. I also like to have a midwife that gets along with my husband so there is no tension in the room when I am trying to have a baby!
Check out your place of birth too- For example, I lived very near a beautiful hospital in Dallas. It was in a wealthy area, and very clean and organized and well decorated. The staff was nice. They had a 95% induction rate, and a 50% cesarean rate (highest in the state) and everybody got continuous fetal monitoring, delivered on their back in stirrups, was not permitted to move, and had an IV. I do not know how many women I talked to who had their babies there because they just did not think it could happen to them. It can happen to you. Chances are, it will in our current system. If you are going to a hospital just because it is convenient, then you should seriously consider how convenient major abdominal surgery is. It is worth it to drive a ways for good care from somebody you trust who is practicing evidence based obstetrics.
Just a little plug- midwives have about a 10% transport rate for home births while the epidural rate in most hospitals is near 100% and the c-section rate is over 30% nationally. Where you choose to have your baby and who helps you have it is one of the biggest factors in determining how your baby will be born. It is not too late to switch providers until the cord is cut. Your birth is worth it and so are you and your baby.
Relax and believe!-
I know, I just scared you to death. But- your best friend is just being able to relax through labor and believe that you can do it. The belief that birth is painful and scary is so ingrained in our society that we really need to work through that. Even women who have had no bad experience with birth have internalized a lot of these negative ideas. As a culture we do not value women and their unique gifts- learn to value them and grow in confidence. And- practice relaxation every day!
Hope this helps- there is much more to know- but the info is out there- go find it!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Birth Matters Video Contest
Hello!
I have recently learned about an opportunity for anybody to participate in changing the way birth happens in our country. There is a birth video contest being held and it is open for anybody to enter, mom's and filmmakers alike. Ricki Lake, Abby Epstein (The Business of Being Born), and Sarah Buckley (Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering) are all judges for the contest so you could get some exposure to really influential people in the birth community.
Here are links to the website with info and a Facebook group so you can spread the word. What a wonderful opportunity! It is just a short video and anybody can do it. Content more than style and you just download it to you tube.
http://www.birthmattersva.org/videocontest.html
The Facebook group is here:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=73753459808
Thanks!
I have recently learned about an opportunity for anybody to participate in changing the way birth happens in our country. There is a birth video contest being held and it is open for anybody to enter, mom's and filmmakers alike. Ricki Lake, Abby Epstein (The Business of Being Born), and Sarah Buckley (Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering) are all judges for the contest so you could get some exposure to really influential people in the birth community.
Here are links to the website with info and a Facebook group so you can spread the word. What a wonderful opportunity! It is just a short video and anybody can do it. Content more than style and you just download it to you tube.
http://www.birthmattersva.org/videocontest.html
The Facebook group is here:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=73753459808
Thanks!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Breastfeeding-
When my first child was born, I was not even concerned about breastfeeding. I was planning a natural birth and I assumed that if I did everything "right" it would just come easily. Certainly, a natural birth makes breastfeeding easier and more likely to be successful, but it doesn't guarantee that it will be smooth sailing. What I found was that it required a lot of patience, tears and dedication. Sticking to nursing my newborn was one of the most difficult and heart-wrenching experiences I have had but I think I learned so much about being a mother from that experience that I wouldn't trade it in.
-What I learned-
I actually stayed an extra day in the hospital because the wanted to help me with nursing (more about how hospital's and their routine practices hinder breastfeeding later) because he just didn't seem interested. I had had a long labor and second stage and we were both pretty exhausted. The binding bright lights in the delivery room at the time of birth made him shriek in agony at birth rather than snuggle and nurse. Later when he was brought to me from the nursery he was asleep and would not nurse. For me this just felt terrible. Mothers who struggle with nursing often feel dejected by the baby. Here you are offering a little human your body for food and sometimes, they refuse it. This is hard, especially in the emotionally fragile state just after birth when hormones are adjusting and changing. Sometimes it just seems easier for everybody involved (shrieking baby and weeping mother) if someone just feeds it a bottle.
Why Not?
I remember talking to a friend who was on the fence about breastfeeding and trying to tell her how wonderful it was. She had watched her mother fail at breastfeeding with 7 children and she just was not really confident that she could do it or that it was necessary. Now- there are literally hundreds of reasons to breastfeed that can be scientifically proven. There are hundreds of ingredients found in breast milk that simply can not be duplicated and put into formula. There are scores of childhood and adult diseases avoided and prevented and reduced by breastfeeding. This info is out there and it is valid and real. But when mothers see so many women bottle feeding apparently healthy babies, when they have no support, and when they are taught from birth that their bodies don't work right, it is hard to stay committed to nursing.
Back to my friend- she had some initial trouble with nursing but worked through it and had a very successful nursing relationship with her child. A few months after he was born we were talking about it and she understood why breastfeeding was so important. It wasn't just because of all those ingredients and diseases- there is something much much deeper taught by this special bond. She knew what I meant after she had the experience for herself, but I couldn't describe it to her before. Nursing a baby is an amazing bond. It teaches mother and baby about one another in ways that almost nothing else can. The entire production is perfectly suited to strengthen the mother child bond and teach them to love each other.
How-
I had a difficult time nursing my first. He was not interested. He would not wake up. He didn't have a real strong suck. Getting a proper latch was difficult. We spent a lot off nights crying together. I felt so inadequate as a mother and a woman. Why would I encourage anybody else to do this!? For one, it was worth it. It was not easy, but I learned to serve my baby. I learned to read his signs, to put him first, to sacrifice for him. I learned to love and serve someone who showed no signs of returning the favor. This was a really hard thing for me but it is the first step towards successful motherhood. Mothers must give to their children without hope of getting back. Newborns are amazing in their pure dependence on their mother. I wonder if it is not an accident that they don't necessarily smile or laugh or talk when first born. The most you will get is a gaze at your face. They do not tell you they love you. "Thanks mom" is not a phrase you will hear for YEARS. But we are required to give to them, every few hours, sometimes more often. Even if we are tired and feeling chubby, they need us and NOW.
I think many people hear this and think- that is why breastfeeding is such a pain in the butt- just let daddy give them a bottle, take a break, rest, go out with your friends. But the newborn needs you all the time for a few months. This constant need seems like a burden, but it is a short and precious time with your infant where you are intimately interconnected with each other. It is hard but it is worth taking the few months to spend all your time with this precious person.
I honestly feel like I needed this experience to really love my baby and serve him. My second was an easy and quick nurser from birth. She weaned earlier and really was not as dependent on me. I am glad that my first was more needy and wanted constant holding, loving and nursing. Selfless service teaches love. Charity is love- and charity never fails. This is a time to learn pure charity and love for another human being. Think about the other relationships in your life. Do you expect things from those people in return for your love? Probably. We expect our husbands to remember our birthdays and perform whatever their duties are. We get mad if they fall short. Your best friend- is it OK if she blows you off and acts like you don't exist. Of course not, we have expectations of others. This is not so with our children, and the lesson is first taught when we teach them to nurse. Two people, learning together to need each other. And one mother learning to give and give and not even caring if she gets anything in return.
I am passionate about breastfeeding for many reasons, including the numerous health benefits. But I love breastfeeding because it taught me how to be a mother. I am a selfish, impatient, easily riled up person normally. My son taught me to be a little better so that I could better mother him and I will always be grateful for that experience. The fact that it was difficult is what made it worth while. If it had been easy for me, I would not have learned as much. Anything worth while in life requires sacrifice, change and pain, and this experience is no different.
If it was easy for you- awesome, it should be easier for every woman. But if it was hard for you, that is OK too- and you probably learned a lot from it, not just love, but perseverance and joy in sacrifice.
Be sure to check out my web links for breastfeeding resources. There are lots of wonderful resources out there. La Leche League is a fantastic and free resources available for women around the world. If you are pregnant, attend a meeting before you give birth so that you have a network of supportive women to help you out if you need it.
-What I learned-
I actually stayed an extra day in the hospital because the wanted to help me with nursing (more about how hospital's and their routine practices hinder breastfeeding later) because he just didn't seem interested. I had had a long labor and second stage and we were both pretty exhausted. The binding bright lights in the delivery room at the time of birth made him shriek in agony at birth rather than snuggle and nurse. Later when he was brought to me from the nursery he was asleep and would not nurse. For me this just felt terrible. Mothers who struggle with nursing often feel dejected by the baby. Here you are offering a little human your body for food and sometimes, they refuse it. This is hard, especially in the emotionally fragile state just after birth when hormones are adjusting and changing. Sometimes it just seems easier for everybody involved (shrieking baby and weeping mother) if someone just feeds it a bottle.
Why Not?
I remember talking to a friend who was on the fence about breastfeeding and trying to tell her how wonderful it was. She had watched her mother fail at breastfeeding with 7 children and she just was not really confident that she could do it or that it was necessary. Now- there are literally hundreds of reasons to breastfeed that can be scientifically proven. There are hundreds of ingredients found in breast milk that simply can not be duplicated and put into formula. There are scores of childhood and adult diseases avoided and prevented and reduced by breastfeeding. This info is out there and it is valid and real. But when mothers see so many women bottle feeding apparently healthy babies, when they have no support, and when they are taught from birth that their bodies don't work right, it is hard to stay committed to nursing.
Back to my friend- she had some initial trouble with nursing but worked through it and had a very successful nursing relationship with her child. A few months after he was born we were talking about it and she understood why breastfeeding was so important. It wasn't just because of all those ingredients and diseases- there is something much much deeper taught by this special bond. She knew what I meant after she had the experience for herself, but I couldn't describe it to her before. Nursing a baby is an amazing bond. It teaches mother and baby about one another in ways that almost nothing else can. The entire production is perfectly suited to strengthen the mother child bond and teach them to love each other.
How-
I had a difficult time nursing my first. He was not interested. He would not wake up. He didn't have a real strong suck. Getting a proper latch was difficult. We spent a lot off nights crying together. I felt so inadequate as a mother and a woman. Why would I encourage anybody else to do this!? For one, it was worth it. It was not easy, but I learned to serve my baby. I learned to read his signs, to put him first, to sacrifice for him. I learned to love and serve someone who showed no signs of returning the favor. This was a really hard thing for me but it is the first step towards successful motherhood. Mothers must give to their children without hope of getting back. Newborns are amazing in their pure dependence on their mother. I wonder if it is not an accident that they don't necessarily smile or laugh or talk when first born. The most you will get is a gaze at your face. They do not tell you they love you. "Thanks mom" is not a phrase you will hear for YEARS. But we are required to give to them, every few hours, sometimes more often. Even if we are tired and feeling chubby, they need us and NOW.
I think many people hear this and think- that is why breastfeeding is such a pain in the butt- just let daddy give them a bottle, take a break, rest, go out with your friends. But the newborn needs you all the time for a few months. This constant need seems like a burden, but it is a short and precious time with your infant where you are intimately interconnected with each other. It is hard but it is worth taking the few months to spend all your time with this precious person.
I honestly feel like I needed this experience to really love my baby and serve him. My second was an easy and quick nurser from birth. She weaned earlier and really was not as dependent on me. I am glad that my first was more needy and wanted constant holding, loving and nursing. Selfless service teaches love. Charity is love- and charity never fails. This is a time to learn pure charity and love for another human being. Think about the other relationships in your life. Do you expect things from those people in return for your love? Probably. We expect our husbands to remember our birthdays and perform whatever their duties are. We get mad if they fall short. Your best friend- is it OK if she blows you off and acts like you don't exist. Of course not, we have expectations of others. This is not so with our children, and the lesson is first taught when we teach them to nurse. Two people, learning together to need each other. And one mother learning to give and give and not even caring if she gets anything in return.
I am passionate about breastfeeding for many reasons, including the numerous health benefits. But I love breastfeeding because it taught me how to be a mother. I am a selfish, impatient, easily riled up person normally. My son taught me to be a little better so that I could better mother him and I will always be grateful for that experience. The fact that it was difficult is what made it worth while. If it had been easy for me, I would not have learned as much. Anything worth while in life requires sacrifice, change and pain, and this experience is no different.
If it was easy for you- awesome, it should be easier for every woman. But if it was hard for you, that is OK too- and you probably learned a lot from it, not just love, but perseverance and joy in sacrifice.
Be sure to check out my web links for breastfeeding resources. There are lots of wonderful resources out there. La Leche League is a fantastic and free resources available for women around the world. If you are pregnant, attend a meeting before you give birth so that you have a network of supportive women to help you out if you need it.
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