Meconium, Babies, and Striving for Perfection- A Hospital Birth Story

I am excited to share this very honest birth story about a higher risk mother birthing her fourth child and trying so hard to do it naturally.  There is so much to learn from it, from the importance of birth place, the role of adrenaline in stopping labor, to finding peace and joy in interventions when they are needed.  But, enough from me, here it is from mama.  
Enjoy!
(Note, there is a very graphic picture at the bottom)

I really wanted a birth with zero interventions. I knew from the start of pregnancy I wanted to attempt my first birth drug-free! I had wretched medical care throughout my pregnancy and switched doctors four times. It wasn't until my second round with my original midwife that I felt comfortable with actually delivering in a hospital. I knew with my complications, an unassisted childbirth was not a smart idea, but because of how risky a hospital birth could have been, I felt I was better educated about my body. With the switch back to the midwife, I was able to deliver at a hospital I felt safe at.  The "birthing center" of this hospital is wonderful! And I KNEW my birth plan would be followed!! They are very anti-intervention, baby-friendly, and homey. I was also excited because I was able to go home 6 hours after delivery! 

After many incidents of false or early labor that would stall because my little guy was posterior - Friday morning at 5am, I called my labor support, woke the hubby, and packed up my girls to head to the hospital. The day before, I was a "tight 3" at my appointment. I was checked at L&D and was "a good 3, but not yet a 4" with contractions 7-8 apart. so I was instructed to walk for an hour and the nurse would come find me once my MW came in for her shift. I was super excited! I walked around the atrium with my headphones on and started dancing away - getting those contractions to 3-4 minutes apart.

The nurse comes out and says "They want you to go across the street and see the Peri and MW right now." "What?!?! Why would they do that if I'm HERE RIGHT NOW IN LABOR??"

Well - the adrenaline made labor basically come to a screeching halt. I was FURIOUS! I was so confused about why I was in the office. Finally the MW came in and explained that she had to speak with the Peri about augmenting if I did show early labor signs, and to schedule an induction date since I was over 38 weeks at this point. She checked me and I was still a 3. Well yeah, after that - what do you expect?! So i was sent home awaiting a call for my induction time, as well as my NST times for Saturday and Sunday mornings. 

Around 3pm, I get the call from MW saying be there at 9am both Saturday and Sunday for the NST, then Monday at 7am for a brief method of inducing since I really wasn't thrilled that I would have to be induced. (medically necessary, as allowing the pregnancy to continue raised risks for stillbirth with my specific complications) All of my natural self-induction attempts to this point had failed because of the baby's position, and I was defeated. Happy to have my time scheduled, I figured the same would happen as #3, I'd arrive 24 hours before I was supposed to be, ready to go. The plan for induction was about a half an hour of pitocin to start contractions and ROM and once I hit 5cm, unhook me and I can continue as I wish.

I spent the entire day trying to relax and get back into a labor mindset - suspecting that I would go back into labor that evening. Nobody believed me and the hubby started making plans for doing one last good scrubbing of the house for the weekend. I told my labor support to get to sleep early because I very well may be calling her at 5am again. She laughed, but I just kind of knew.

Ok - let's get to the good stuff 

Well, by midnight Friday/Saturday morning, I gave up and was ready to just sleep since I'd only had 3 hours the night before. So I laid down and did some internet browsing, then when I was finally starting to doze, I felt it. From about 1:30, I laid in bed trying to breathe through the contractions. At 2:17, I started timing them on my phone app. I got up and sat on the birth ball, breathing and moaning while leaning on the bed, the whole time smacking my husband to wake up and rub me or SOMETHING! He wasn't budging. After a solid hour of 5 minutes apart, 55-75 seconds long, I called my midwife and let her know what was going on. She said "Well, 5 minutes is good, but give it another hour and see what they do." So I went in the shower with the phone app and kept timing. Most of them were about 3 or 4 minutes apart, but some were 6 apart, but I was not giving up. I knew I was in the earlier stages of labor and I was ready to head in since I knew it would go quick. So before I called the midwife back, I FINALLY got my husband up and told him to alert the moms, call my support person, and get the show on the road. I vaguely recall N (labor support) standing in my bedroom and me pulling out my prefold diapers to show her the difference in her brand and my own... Kind of amusing since I was in labor and on my way out the door.  LOL ! I do not remember getting in the car, or taking the trip there. I just remember showing the diapers and being in the triage, getting checked.

Arrive at the hospital and they check me instead of bothering to monitor contractions or anything first. I was 4cm with a bulging bag and lots of show at 5:54am. "Let's go get you on the monitor for 20 minutes then get you in that tub and have a baby!"

I get to L&D1 - which is the room I WANTED to be in since that room is the only one with the built in tub, the rest were just inflatable ones. I was so excited that I would finally be having a baby after the long painful road we've been down!!!


20 minutes later, we haven't had one reactive rate from baby, so I chug some juice, some water, etc. Nothing. Another 15 minutes go by and they want to give me IV fluids since I threw up the juice (reminded myself that I never did like grape juice). I was upset because this is how all the interventions start. I did not WANT IV fluids. The nurse reminds me that 1. I just threw up and I can not get dehydrated and 2. hydrating myself would hopefully get him excited and reactive.

Around 7, the MW comes in and says "I know you don't want any interventions, but this baby hasn't been reactive once in an hour and we need to speed things up. You can't get in the tub with a lazy baby either because we don't know what's wrong. I want to break your water." I am starting to worry because after weeks of being concerned for my own body, and the baby, THEY were starting to worry. She even mentions how the strip from the day before was PERFECT, so they suspected something was wrong. My water was broken, and I was 5cm... and there was meconium. That completely risked me out of the waterbirth I wanted, which also meant I knew I couldn't do the pain and immediately asked for an epi. She said she would check with my PTT and WBC counts from the lab and let me know ASAP and have anesthesia come up.

I'm not really sure on too many details from this point because i was afraid for my baby, and I was dreading what was to come since they needed me to go quick because he STILL wasn't reactive. At one point I was a 7 and asked again about the epi. Bad news. I'd recently developed an allergy to the main ingredient in the epi drug and anesthesia said NO WAY. I said ok fine, please give me Nubane... she said not with a baby who wasn't being reactive, it would only depress his heart more. But assured me I was a 7 and it was almost over. I was not handling ANY of this well. I went from moany crabby laboring woman to trucker-mouthed mean laboring woman in an instant. I was checked again when i started feeling the pressure of baby descending, I was 9cm and he was finally a little reactive and I BEGGED the MW for some nubane to give me enough of a boost to survive delivery. She said ok since I was so close to delivery, it wouldn't have time to pass to baby. In my head, the nurse took hours to get it, but in reality, it was probably only about 10 minutes. But in that time - I was yelling that it f-word-ing hurt and the nurse really needed to run, and out of nowhere, I yelled out "I'm PUSHING NOW!" So I pushed a little bit with my body once, yelled more for the nurse to HURRY THE F-WORD UP again, felt the urge to push with the next contraction, but she was checking me and she asked me NOT to push because I had a tiny lip of cervix left, but I could push with the next contraction. "Where is that f-word-ing nurse at? I want my nubane! Can I just let him come down on his own while the nubane kicks in THEN i can push?" He needed out and I'm not allowed. "DAMN." I was done. I'd only had 3 hours of sleep before I woke up Friday morning. This is Saturday morning. I was strapped to the bed, on monitors, with IV lines, and the tub I longed for was a mere 3 feet away.

Here comes another contraction and I finally get the urge to REALLY push, so there I go, trying to poop. Before this, my push was more like baring down with the pressure but I knew it was time to get the show on the road. So FINALLY the dang nurse gets there, after that push, and I get my nubane. I was so mad. It was only a half dose - and it didn't even kick in until AFTER I was done pushing.

During the next contraction, I had one good push in me, and when I was done she said "Ok, go ahead and push again!" "No - I need a break." And you know what she said? She said "OK. Whenever you're ready." And I just wanted to hug her.

Insert a LOT of primal screaming here, but it's what my body wanted to do. It was how I got through delivery. It was how I pushed through that ring of fire. It was how I got my baby out of my body. I was not graceful. It was not how I wanted. I was not happy. It hurt like hell. But he came out. I pushed four really good pushes over 12 minutes. And I didn't have to do the whole 1-10 push 3 times with each contraction. I pushed with MY body, at MY pace. Although - when his head was out and that hardcore pressure was left there and I was on fire, I kept pushing until he came out.

Julian Hobert was born at 8:07am, October 22nd, 2011. He was set on my chest long enough to have his cord clamped and cut, then he was whisked away to a special team to check him out because of the meconium.

I remember the MW asking me "do you trust your husband to catch this baby even though he's never done it before?" Yes. I do. He said that was an experience of a lifetime and he was absolutely elated by it. But that isn't something I can put into words for him.

I started bleeding pretty bad right away thanks to my blood thinners, so I had to get a shot of pitocin after delivery. I got my baby back after 5 minutes - in perfect condition! They felt so bad about having to take him from me right away, they didn't even attempt asking to take him to be weighed until I asked them about 2 hours after birth. It was incredible. We had a rush of visitors and doctors and specialists because I still really wanted to go home the same day. Despite the meconium, baby was cleared after 6 hours. Sadly, because of my bleeding, we had to wait 12.

His birth weight was 6lbs even and he was 19" long. He was very small thanks to complications that came up around 22 weeks, which slowed his growth, but he is perfect in a million ways!

Despite my very strict birth plan, I do realize now that the interventions they DID do were necessary, as the fluids were to get him reactive, and once they broke my water to speed things along and saw just how bad the meconium was, I was grateful for that call being made. Active labor was around 2 hours long... and it was the most terrifying 2 hours of my life.

I'm not terribly thrilled about sharing pics of my vag on a public blog, but I've had a lot of people ask how much meconium there was and the one pic I will share shows a great deal just how brown the water was. I love the look on my face of both pain and relief! The second picture was (I placed this one on the top, MB) ... I can't even describe the emotions I felt when they handed me my son and he was HERE! And he was AMAZING! The longest road I have ever been down, much heartache and loss, and my husband and I finally had a child to bring home! I couldn't decide if I wanted to cry, laugh, smile, squeal, but I knew just then that everything we worked so hard for was finally right there, in my arms. and I could never give an accurate description of that emotional moment. The third picture is just a candid moment and I think it is just beautiful and peaceful.

My husband seems to think we're doing this again (we also have 3 older children) and of course I can hope it goes better next time (is it bad that the idea makes me cringe? or is that normal still only being 6 days after birth? LOL!) but going in, knowing what to expect, I think I would be much more graceful.

Thanks so much for reading.

One & 1/2 Hours of Hard Labor- A Home Birth

(Photo courtesy of Breathtaking photography)

A rockin' home birth story- I love how she talks about her noises.  Women need to know that vocalization is a normal and helpful part of birth!

Enjoy!

Growing up, I was never afraid of the idea of pregnancy and birth, only fascinated. My mom had eight children, and I was the second one, so I grew up surrounded by my younger siblings. I remember my mom being pregnant, and hearing her laboring in the middle of the night before my dad took her to the hospital. (I think she would have been more quiet if she knew I was listening.) I remember thinking, "Hooray! We are going to have a little baby soon!", and I fell asleep again. My mom is a confident, strong woman, and she knew how to give birth! She even delivered one of their babies herself, in the front seat of an SUV! She always wanted a home birth, but my dad wasn't comfortable with the idea.

When I grew up and married, I always knew that if I ever had a baby I would have it at home with a midwife. My husband felt very differently-he wanted us to have the baby in the hospital. When we got pregnant, we were ecstatic. I was eager to meet our little baby, but I felt terrible every time I thought about possibly having to go to the hospital to have it. I am very uncomfortable in hospitals, and the sight of needles makes me hyperventilate!

So I set out to change my man's mind. (Hehe) I read piles of books on birth, talked to all the women I could about birth, and watched "The Business of Being Born" with my hubby...and eventually  with all the research and information, he was completely supportive of me giving birth at home. Whew.

I loved being pregnant...I loved looking forward to holding my baby, I loved how she kicked me, and I loved to see my body change. It's amazing! I read and read about giving birth and I couldn't wait for everything to happen! Neither could my husband...he spent the last few weeks of my pregnancy in anxious impatience. He would call me every half hour to ask if I had any contractions yet, and tell me to bounce on my exercise ball. When he was home, he would massage my feet. (He read somewhere that it can trigger labor.) I love a good foot massage as much as the next lady, but after a few weeks of him trying to get my labor started, it was beginning to get on my nerves! I even went on a hayride on a bumpy wagon to try to jump start my labor...no luck! Not even climbing up the wagon and jumping into it (while my husband ran for a ladder) helped.

I had a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions, sometimes all day long, but they would always go away again. The BH contractions began to come more often when I was about 37 weeks along, and I would wonder if this time would be the real thing. Four days before my due date, I had bloody show, and I mentioned it excitedly to my midwife when I went in for an appointment. She told me labor could begin tonight, or it could begin in a few days. She said I would probably have the baby by the weekend. I was so excited! Too bad she was wrong. :) The weekend, and my due date came  and went without any action. That did it. I wasn't going to wait around any longer. That Monday, I went with my husband for a day in his big truck at work. He hauled storage sheds and gazebos at the time.) We drove all day in that bumpy truck. By the time the day was over, I could feel the baby's head bumping down on my cervix with every pothole we hit. I was beginning to be uncomfortable, and I was thankful when we got home.

That night I had more BH contractions, or so I thought. They continued all night, very weak, and I was able to sleep very well through them. The next morning I had a few weak contractions. They kept coming all morning until lunchtime. I sewed a tote bag and checked my email and such, and called some friends and waited for my Braxton-Hicks to go away. They didn't...and they began to get stronger and come more often. Just for the fun of it, I began to chart my contractions. They were all over the place, some were 5 minutes apart, and some were up to 10. They didn't hurt at all, and I remember thinking that it couldn't be real labor because it didn't hurt! Everyone had told me that I'll know it's real when it hurts and I'm tired and grouchy. Around 2:30, my husband came home from work. I was was trying to take a nap on the sofa, but I was glad to see him home. I needed company by then! He helped me chart contractions for a while, and then I decided to go take a bath. I was beginning to realize that this might be it! It still didn't hurt very much, so I didn't take it seriously. After half and hour in the tub, I was getting restless. I needed to move! I went back downstairs and ate cornflakes (weird hehe). I couldn't sit to eat them, because I had to keep getting up to bend over the table with my contractions. I was having a great time moving with my contractions and listening to my body. It really does tell you what to do!

Even though I wasn't in a hurry to call for our midwife, my husband was. He kept asking if it was time to call the nurse yet, so she could check me out. Finally, I thought it wasn't a bad idea, but I was worried that we might be calling her for nothing. My labor was beginning to get stronger and I needed to moan throught the contractions to keep my focus. I was so happy that we were finally going to have our baby!

All of a sudden I felt a huge urge to pee and use the bathroom, but I couldn't! I was upset. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't go, and I reeeeeeeeaaaaally had to! (I didn't know it, but the baby's head was coming down.) The nurse showed up right about then and she could see I was having strong contractions. She checked me, and said worriedly, "You are at about 8 or 9 centimeters! I am going to call the midwife...DON'T PUSH!!" I had told her that I felt like I needed to use the bathroom. That poor nurse. She almost couldn't find a midwife to come! Our original midwife was in Haiti for a humanitarian trip, and the back-up ones were at births themselves! Finally, she reached one. I didn't care at that point! I figured that if she needed to, the nurse would deliver the baby.

I was using our bed's headboard as a labor support, along with a lot of pillows...ahh. It felt so good to bend over during contractions. They were coming hard and fast now. My doula showed up right when I couldn't handle the contractions anymore. She kept massaging my lower back and holding my hand. My husband joined in, and so did the nurse.

I always wondered how I would act during hard labor, and if I would be quiet or loud, and if I would keep my clothes or not. Well, turns out I'm not quiet at all! Everyone kept reminding me to keep my yells quiet and low. It really did feel good to let out the pain through moans. I soon got so warm that I pulled off my nightgown, and all I had on was a tank top. And that's when the midwife walked in. It turned out that I knew her from years ago! That was nice. I felt safe with her. We exchanged 'hellos 'and 'how are you's' and I introduced her to my doula and hubby. I had huge contractions , with almost no pause between. I was getting very tired of this labor thing, and I just wanted to begin pushing. I didn't even realize that I had pushed, but my midwife noticed, and she checked my cervix. As soon as I began pushing for real, my water broke. The fluid was dark brown and green, not what I had expected. Baby had pooped, and the midwife said, "We need to get this baby out fast, or I need to call 911." Everyone told me to push, and I said, "I can't!" I wasn't sure if I could stretch far enough for a BABY to come out! But everyone said, "Yes you can!"

They helped me get in position, and my doula reminded me of how to push, and off I went. I thought, "If I tear or not, I am getting this baby OUT!" I pushed as hard as I could. I didn't know it would feel like it did- like I was pooping a bowling ball, and I did not like it. :) I wanted to get it over with. My husband began to say, "I can see the hair, and it's dark!" It was so great to be reminded that there was a baby in there! I was getting somewhere! At one point, I really need to stretch my legs, and I accidentally kicked my poor doula in the head...o my. She forgave me! The midwife asked me to reach down and feel the baby. The head was showing a little big, about 2 inches, and its scalp was all wrinkled together and soft. For a moment I was worried that the baby didn't have a skull. (It did. hehe) Feeling the baby's head was amazing! I forgot about pain and contractions and everything else. I focused on pushing out my baby, and she was coming fast! The midwife told me to pant and to give tiny little pushes.

It stung so bad when the head came out, but right after that all the pain went away, and out came the baby. She was tiny and gray, all slippery, and her arms and legs were waving in the air. I couldn't believe I had a baby! All I could think was, "I want to hold her!" She screamed like crazy! The midwife tried to suction her airway out, in case she inhaled meconium, but she couldn't even to that, because baby was cried so hard. I grabbed her. It was so wonderful to hold her and cuddle her. My hubby and I were so excited that we didn't even think to check if it was a boy or a girl. He cut the baby's cord and I held her while I delivered the placenta. My husband finally asked, "Is it a boy or a girl?" It was a girl!! She was beautiful and soft, and I kept kissing her! When my husband said hello to her, she looked right at her. We were so happy. I kept saying, "It's our baby!" Finally she was here! I was thankful that the birth went so well. I had only been in hard labor for a little over an hour and a half, and I had only pushed for 17 minutes!

We didn't sleep very much that night, but it didn't matter. We had our baby with us, and she was absolutely perfect.

I am still amazed at how wonderful giving birth was, and I hope that I can experience it again someday!

Letting Your Best Friend Have A Bad Birth

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing.
There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow
people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a
time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over."
~Gloria Naylor~

Have you had a natural birth?  Do you have actual (and strong) opinions about things like vaccines and circumcision?  Do you find yourself cornering newly pregnant women whom you have never met at social functions and dumping information on them when they mention that they want an episiotomy because "it just heals up so much better when it is a straight cut than a jagged tear"?  

If so, then this article is for you!

Now- what do you do when somebody-- maybe even somebody you love, appears to be heading down the birth trauma highway? 

Ahh, the humanity!  Knowing that your friend/sister/neighbor/in-law is being set up for a horrid birth experience!  How hard is this for the natural birth mama who simply loved her life changing birth experience?  Do you keep your mouth shut?  Do you offer information?  Do you share your experience?  Can you "let" her go down a path you don't think she should? 

~/~

Questions like this are asked all the time: 

"My friend is being set for an induction at 39 weeks because she is uncomfortable.  What research can I give her?" 

Or, as a natural birth teacher I get phone calls from the mom or mother in law or buddy trying to enroll their loved one in a Bradley natural birth class.  

"I LOVED my Bradley birth!  She really needs this class.  When does the next one start?!"

So what DO you do?

As a woman who has actually uttered the words "You didn't need that c-section" (yes I am that tactless), I can honestly say that this is a very difficult one.

A few things that I try to remind my tactless self:

1)  What you consider a good experience might not be what somebody else considers a good birth experience.  

I remember telling the birth story of my first child to a woman who had  a c-section for failure to progress.  I had three nights of labor and had pushed for 4 hours- two hours longer than she had before they declared her unable to birth vaginally.  Maybe I was thinking she would hear my story and say

"Ahh- you wonderful woman!  Thank you for your wisdom!  I now see that maybe, just maybe, I too am capable of vaginal birth.  You have given me hope!"

This is NOT what she said.  Instead she looked at me with a little bit of horror and said something about how she couldn't believe I would want to go through that.  What was an empowering experience for ME just sounded exhausting and brutal to HER.  She has scheduled her c-sections for her other babies, and I believe been quite happy with her births.  I can only imagine that my most recent unassisted birth in my bed would have sounded equally awful to her.

So- to each his own.  We don't all want the same thing from life or from birth.

2)  If you are known for your alternative birthing choices- people who are interested will ASK.

Realistically, the vast majority of women birth in hospitals with epidurals and pitocin.  If you DON'T do this you are very different.  People will talk about it.  Maybe not in front of you, but they will hear about you.

And when somebody feels like they are unsatisfied with the care that they are getting from their assembly line, five minutes, "who are you again?" OB, they just might take the time to ask you what you think.

You heard me right- they will come to YOU.  You don't need to corner them at a bar-b-Que.  You don't need to give them thirty books to read.  You don't even need to roll your eyes about their birth choices.   

This doesn't always happen in a "so I heard you had a natural birth, I want one too" kind of way.  It just happens among FRIENDS when they TALK like regular people.

I also remember chatting with a friend while our kids played.  She asked me about my births.  I think I had two children at the time, one in hospital and one at a birth center.  She had a typical but not upsetting hospital birth with an epidural an some other stuff thrown in.  She did however feel like birth could be something more.  When she got pregnant she asked about who would be a good natural friendly OB in town.  Then when she was ready she asked who would be a good home birth midwife.  She changed care providers and never looked back.   

She RAVED about midwifery care.  I got to be at the birth of her second child  ... in her bedroom.  Now she is a huge supporter of natural and home birth- and I never even told her what to do.  I just answered her questions and shared my good experiences and she made her own choices.  She already wanted to make them.  She just needed somebody to say it was OK.  Then she had a home birth before I did!

People will come to you when they see that you found joy in your experience.

3)  Some people just are not interested until AFTER a bad experience. 

This might be the hardest part.  Especially if you see somebody taking the same path that you took and you know how much pain it caused you.  We naturally want to "save" or "fix" or "help" somebody avoid pain.

You CAN talk about your good experience.  You can gently offer information, links, books, and things like that.  If you are really friends with somebody, you will know what is appropriate and what is offensive to offer to that person.  But no matter what you do, some people just don't care- until things go wrong for them.  Sadly, sometimes that is what it takes to question an entire culture of mechanical birth.

We may desperately want to save somebody else from what we perceive to be a bad choice for them- but it is still THEIR CHOICE, and a very personal one at that.  Maybe you wish somebody had opened your eyes then to what you know now- if so, then offer in the way it would have worked for you.  But remember that there is a possibility that you wouldn't have listened either.  Remember that part of YOUR journey was pain.  Maybe that is what makes you so passionate.  Maybe that is part of your friend's journey too, no matter how hard it may be to step back and watch. 

Be kind, be loving, be there, be a source of information, and then, be a good enough friend to let go and respect their choices.  Remember that your different choices don't necessarily make you better either.   

I want to close again with the quote at the beginning of the post.

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing.
There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow
people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a
time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over."
~Gloria Naylor~

The only thing I would add to that - is remember that nobody likes an "I told you so" after their bad experience.  It might even be a great experience for them.  Yes, even if you disagree with the choice, your idea of a good birth is not what everybody else's is!  Assuming that our birth choices are the "best" across the board is a judgment in an of itself.  We all get to make our own choices, and true friends are the ones who still love each other even when those choices are different.  What I want in a true friend is somebody who loves me no matter what, even if we disagree.

The truth is you can't "let" anybody have any kind of birth.  It was never up to you.  

A Spinning Baby- HB Story!

I was due with my second baby on October 3, 2011. Labor actually began at 41.5 weeks on Thursday, October 13, 2011. Here is the story of how my little son came into the world.

Since my first baby came three weeks early, I had a hopeful expectation to have the same experience the second time around. But after my two sisters-in-law had their babies within a week of each other, and my due date came and went with ease, I finally accepted that I was "late". If it wasn't for my best friend's wedding approaching in less than 10 days (in which I was a bridesmaid!), I might have been okay with being past due. Physically, I felt fine. But emotionally, I really needed and wanted the baby to come! I decided to try natural things to help bring on labor. None of them worked. So after a day of running up and down the stairs, purposely hopping around the house instead of walking (something my little toddler found hilarious), and ingesting far too much evening primrose oil, I went to bed. While hopeful, I also knew the next day could be like every other as well.

I woke at 5am to go to the bathroom and felt my first contraction starting. My body and mind instantly became alert and excited! I was in labor! Two seconds later I was harshly reminded of how much these things could hurt. I began the deep hypnobreathing I'd been practicing this whole pregnancy, and got through the first contraction of the day.

I laid in bed for 40 minutes, timing the surges at 8 minutes apart. I was going to let Ian sleep as long as possible, but during one of the contractions I reached over and grabbed his arm. I said, "Are you awake?" "Yeah, what's up?" I waited till the contraction passed and replied, "I'm in labor." He woke up immediately and snuggled with me. We had been waiting for this for weeks, and I could tell how excited he was too.

At 6:00, in between surges, I called our midwife to tell her what was going on. She responded with, "Yay, that's great news!" Because she lives 1.5 hours away, she decided to head into our area and simply be close by in case I needed her. She said she'd call me in two hours to see how everything was going. I was totally comfortable with that. I knew I had a long way to go.

Usually our little toddler wakes up around 6:20 every day, so Ian and I stayed in our bedroom together, talking and just being excited. Every 8 minutes, I would close my eyes to signal the contraction coming on, and Ian would either hold me or lightly run his fingers along my arms. In hypnobirthing, this "light touch massage" is done to counteract the pain one feels during a contraction. The body's endorphins help block the pain. While the massage didn't eliminate all the pain, it helped so much and reminded me to relax my body.

At 7:00, Malley woke up, and my sister was starting to get ready for work. We told her I was in labor, and she came in the room with a huge smile and gave me a big hug. It was so nice that everyone was excited and ready! She decided to work from home that day, and we began doing little things to set up for the birth. We all ate breakfast, then Ian blew up the birth pool. We put a waterproof cover under the Egyptian cotton sheets of our bed and collected extra towels for the "birth supply box." I called Ian every time I felt a contraction coming, and he was right by my side. They were already pretty rough, and after one of them I said to him, "This is going to be a really long day." But Ian was incredible; he helped me get through them all.

I'll admit, I took a few moments to comb my hair, put on some make-up, brush my teeth, and pick out a fresh outfit. I would find that these things didn't matter within a couple hours, but I was still pumped at this time.

At 8:00, I texted Jen that my contractions had been all over the place - 5 within 20 minutes, but then nothing during the next 20. She said she would go do a home visit with another momma, and then check back with me. Sounds good, I thought. Around this time, I called my parents' house to tell my Mom. She was out at morning Mass, but my Dad told me to text her anyways. I told her I was in labor and to give us a call when Mass was done.

Marie prepared two homeopathic remedies for me to sip as frequently as I wanted. One was Mag Phos. 6x in warm water, which would help with the contractions and anything uterus-related. The other was Arnica 200c to help with the overall process of labor, delivery, and beyond. She also kept Malley busy all morning long. It worked out well because Ian was able to be right by my side with no distractions. He and I talked and just hung out in between contractions, and then we would focus during them. I actually found that standing up was one of the best ways to get through them. Ian would stand behind me, lightly massaging my back. And then it would be over. The contractions were about 7 mins apart at that point.

Ian asked me, "So, do you think this baby will come before or after noon?" If I was a mean person, I would have laughed out loud. Instead I just said, "Oh darling, we will be at this all day." I was judging this based off my first birth, which was 8 hours and started abruptly with intense contractions at 4 mins apart. In my mind, I knew I still had to get to that point, and then ALL the way to birth.

Off and on, I listened to a few minutes of a guided relaxation on my iPod. I layed down on the couch and tried to relax completely. But then a crazy contraction came, and as hard as I tried to breathe and get through it, I ended up ripping my ear phones out and sitting up, nearly losing it. Even though I should have deducted it to laying down (because laying down was the worst thing for me during Malley's labor), I'll admit, I panicked a little and told Ian we had to call Jen.

After that, I was able to keep my wits about me. I took bathroom breaks and frequent sips of the remedies. Around 10:00, Jen arrived. Things were good at that point. We all talked and touched bases, and she reviewed my birth plan while we sat around the dining room table. Ian had to step out for a few minutes, and I felt a wild sort of fear without him when a contraction came on. But Jen was right there and guided me so well through it. She knew just what to say to get me back on top of it. It was comforting that I had all this help just for me!

Shortly after that, Malley went down for a nap. Marie headed downstairs to get some work done, and we called my mom to come over. I had wanted her to wait until after Malley was in bed so that it wouldn't be a struggle getting her to sleep. (There is only one thing Malley loves more than popsicles, and that's Grandma.)

Around this time, I went in the bathroom and lost a ton of mucus. There's my plug, I thought to myself. I was a little bummed that I only had dilated enough to lose it just now, but later Jen told me that's probably not how it really works. But at the time, that's what I thought. As with the first birth, we did no cervix checks to see how far along I was. I really like doing this because I wasn't worried about numbers, and it was relaxing for me to not know.

Jen stepped outside to make some phone calls and throw the ball for Kila (our puppy), so I got in the birth pool and listened to a relaxation on the earphones. Ian was right behind me, giving me an awesome neck and shoulder massage the whole time. It was a great half hour. The house was so quiet, the water was soothing and warm, and for the first time ever I was in a "zone". I felt the contractions, and they were still poopy, but being so relaxed in a rhythm of deep breathing made them very manageable.

Jen came by the pool to give the baby's heartbeat another listen. Everything sounded great. She then told me that Heather, her assistant who attended Malley's birth, wouldn't be able to make it. She was in between night shifts and just couldn't swing it. I was understanding but sad too. We had a backup, who I had met and really liked, so Jen told me we'd call her in a little while.

After my mom arrived, and I'd given her a smile before closing my eyes again, the water seemed to be cooling down. Since I bled a lot after my first birth, we had decided to keep the water temperature less steamy this time around. But the cool air above the warm water was making me shiver, and I could no longer focus. Ian helped me out and I put on new clothes. I was freezing, though, so my mom wrapped a huge blanket around me, which helped so much. My contractions were about 5 minutes apart.

Around then, Malley woke up - not only to her Grandma - but to a huge pool of water in her dining room. The excitement was adorable. She stuck with my mom from then on. They went outside, played with blocks, read books, and had snacks together. It was great; Ian and I were able to stay focused together. Before the birth, I thought that maybe help wouldn't be necessary for Malley. Maybe she'd be fine and we could keep her busy. But everything about having the help there made the whole experience a billion times better.

It was probably around 12noon then. Even though I was pretty tired at that point, I wanted to stand up for two reasons: 1) I was able to handle the surges much easier, and 2) they started coming a bit more frequently when I was standing. Good good. Let's get this going.

After listening to the heartbeat again, Jen asked if I felt any baby movement. I said yes, and explained where...and also added that I had back pain during the contractions. She asked if I could lay down so she could determine the position of the baby. I agreed but warned her that it might get bad. While I was laying on the couch, she felt around and noticed that the baby was leaning toward the right - and began to say something when a bad contraction came on. I felt myself losing it and told her I had to stand up right away. She and Ian helped me get through it, but it was intense. Thankful it was over, I resumed my "good" position of standing up, and Jen hopped on the computer to look up some tips on spinningbabies.com. Just the other night, she had read about a way to help the baby angle down better. She showed Ian and I what to do. Pretty much, you lock your fingers under the belly and lift up at the start of a contraction. This extra lift helps the baby descend easier. When the next contraction started, we tried it together, but probably too enthusiastically - because it made the surge 10x worse. Jen said we didn't have to do it anymore if it was bad.

But little did they know, I modified it myself by just doing it very, very slightly during each following contraction - which, by the way, were coming very frequently. I'd gently lift my belly when one began and could not believe what I felt: the baby was moving down! I could actually feel the descent. It was incredible. But not fun either.

It got to the point where I couldn't be silent anymore. The contractions were so strong and intense that I had to make some noise. Sometimes I'd say "Ow, ow, ow!" or kind of cry. Poor Malley must have been a little upset by this because I could hear my mom gently telling her I was okay, and that I was just using my voice to help the baby come out. She later told me this helped Malley accept what was going on, and they went back to playing with some toys.

During one contraction, I felt something crazy. Kind of confused, I said, "I think I might need to push..." Jen and Ian both were like, "That's okay." But I looked at the clock and dismissed this crazy idea. It was only 1:00. It just wasn't time yet. But the next contraction came, and oh my gosh, I really needed to push.

Jen had already started to fill up the pool again with warmer water before I said this, so the timing was perfect. I got in and sat on my knees. I asked my Mom to call Marie from downstairs and looked at Ian with more excitement than I can explain. I started to cry with complete happiness and said, "Oh my gosh, the baby's coming!" There was a slight pause in everything - maybe a minute or two of no contractions or anything. Then I could feel one coming...and I was pushing!

The next 10 minutes flew by. I did my best to relax all my muscles and let my body work with each surge. I felt a ton of pressure down there, and as I reached down to see what was going on, my fingers hit a bulge. Instantly, my water broke and hot fluid flooded around my feet. It was pretty cool, considering I have no recollection of my water breaking the first time around. With the amniotic fluid out of the way, I could feel the baby's head coming as crowning began! I made Ian check it out too. It was really incredible. Then the intense ring of fire started. I remember saying, "Oh my gosh, the head! But ouch this really hurts." I was so eager that Jen reminded me to wait for the next contraction. After a couple I couldn't help laughing with tears in my eyes - this was really happening! A few pushes later, the head was out! Ian and I could feel the little face and all the features. At this point, I was just dying to see him/her, so I said, "Come on, baby!" And then, during the next push, the entire body came right out into my hands.

Jen slipped the cord out from around the neck, and I lifted the baby out of the water and into my arms - but not before looking to see the big surprise: boy or girl?

"It's a boy!" I exclaimed. It was such a happy announcement! We had waited till the end for this pregnancy, and everyone had been telling me the whole time, "You're having a boy." I myself would have been surprised if the baby ended up being a girl - but I wouldn't exactly say I knew it was a boy. It was just awesome finally knowing for sure! And there he was...right in front of us!

The time was 1:10pm.




He was completely covered in slippery vernix. I cradled him against my chest and kissed him, but Jen noticed I might have been pressing on the cord. So I laid him back in the water and gently roused him to make some noise. Jen told us not to worry because he was still getting oxygen from his cord. We touched his face and rubbed his belly until he made a sweet little cry.









It was just perfect. There were a few minutes of awesome bliss. Ian and I were the only hands that touched him for a long while, and Malley came in the pool to check out this wiggly, white thing in mommy's arms. She wasn't too sure about it all, but a popsicle took care of everything. She was happily running around in no time.

 

After the cord stopped pulsating, Jen clamped and Ian cut it. Some rolling contractions came back, and they were quite uncomfortable. So Ian bundled our little son in a blanket and held him while the placenta was birthed.

After that, Amanda, the assistant arrived. It was so sweet how quietly and respectfully she came in the front door and gently set her bags down - and then she noticed the baby and exclaimed, "Oh my goodness - congratulations!"

Together, Jen and Amanda helped me into the bedroom where I was able to relax and hold the baby. But I was shivering and shaking like crazy. They said my body was probably just in a little bit of shock from the birth, but mentally I was completely fine. My mom gave me some more arnica and warm blankets, and in no time the shaking had gone away. I hadn't torn or anything, and the bleeding was all normal. So after making sure I was okay, everyone actually left the room and gave Ian, Malley, and I some alone time with the baby.

Everyone was awesome. They cleaned out the pool, did some paperwork, brought me chocolate milk, and called the relatives while we enjoyed some family time. Malley held her little brother and gave him lots of kisses right away. He made funny, sweet little noises and was so alert with us.

He was weighed at 9lbs 2oz, 21.5 inches long, and just beautiful. He latched on about two hours later for a small snack, but otherwise he wasn't interested in breastfeeding until later that night - when he nursed all night. :)

An OB Attended Hospital Birth - 9 Pounds!!!

(Love the amazing pic?  From one talented mama @ peaceloveandleener.blogspot.com!)

I know lots of moms, the vast majority, choose to birth in the hospital with an OB so it is always a joy to have a positive hospital birthing story.  This one, complete with a great big baby, fantastic nursing relationship and happy mom is joy to share.  Birth where you feel safe, powerful, and respected.

Enjoy!

You know the day you wake up and realize that the contraction that woke up from a dead sleep was completely different than all of the prodromal ones you have been getting for weeks, that this was the day you are finally going to meet your baby for the first time?

Well that is how my day started at 0600 on July 17^th, 2011. I had been getting prodromal contractions for roughly three weeks, and each day I wondered “is today going to be the day?” and each day that passed I had to remind myself that my baby just wasn’t ready to meet me yet.

Let me give you a little bit of background, Josh and I didn’t find out the gender of our baby much to his chagrin. I also am having a hospital birth at a wonderful hospital and with an excellent OB Doctor, the only downfall is that the hospital is almost an hour and a half away from my house. Why so far you ask, well many of the hospitals in my immediate area are not conducive to natural birth and letting baby decide when it is ready to be born. Thus is one of the reasons why I am going so far away to have this baby, why not just have the baby at home is another question I get. There aren’t any midwives in my area and I really don’t want a homebirth.

So here I was having somewhat uncomfortable contractions at 6 AM, I tried to time them but it is a little hard to do so when you are concentrated on your breathing through each wave. So after an hour and half and a shower later I finally wake up my husband Josh to time each contraction for me, his idea of timing them was using the stop watch on my cell phone and hitting the LAP button each time I had a new contraction all the while still laying in bed. In between contractions I finish my 5 year olds big sister gift I made for her and I try to get a little more sleep, which is hard to do when you are excited about meeting your new baby not to mention a little uncomfortable. After an hour of timing contractions, they were fairly steady at 5 minutes apart and it was time to call the doctor. So I call and he says to come on in since we live so far away, Josh jumps in the shower and in between all of that I am packing a bag for my daughter to spend the next couple of days with my parents since my one sister is off work for the next couple of days. As we head out to the car I call my doula Jennifer, who I knew was in church but thankfully she accidently left her cell phone on and was able to call me right back. Jennifer and I arranged for her to meet us at the hospital, that way she could stay till the end of church service and still have time to meet us at the hospital.

I had no idea how bumpy certain roads were until I was in labor; even the ride home from the hospital wasn’t as bad as going to the hospital had been. Do you remember when you would go on bumpy roads as a kid and you would make a noise like “AHHH” just to hear your voice change octaves while your parents drove ( and you slowly driving them insane?) it felt like that except the AHHH part.

After a quick stop to hand my daughter over to my parents, grab something to drink (I get a Mountain Dew, I have only had 2 since I found I was pregnant back in November and it is my favorite thing to drink of all time) and hit the bathroom, which incidentally you get strange looks when you lean against a display case while having a contraction in the middle of the store. Strangely enough I didn’t have one person as me if I was ok, other than my daughter Katherine.

We arrive at the hospital and walk up to the Labor and Delivery floor, the nurses ask how I’m doing. “Ok considering, how are you?” Seriously does no one ask the nurses how they are doing anymore, I mean come on it is common curtsey to ask back isn’t it? Maybe it is just the way I was raise to be polite, even when I’m in labor. I say that because they all laughed as if they have never heard anyone ask the question back. Josh told them that we are here to have a baby today, or so he hoped as he hustled me further into the L&D floor.

After getting settled in and changed into a hospital gown, both the doctor and nurses come into the room to ask if there was anything in my birth plan that I wanted to discuss. I asked them if they have read it, interestingly enough everyone had read it. They knew that I didn’t want ANY medication, unless I asked for it, and that if I had to have an IV that I wanted a heparin lock on it. No time constraints, being able to move around freely, intermittent fetal monitoring and avoid excess vaginal exams. Once the baby arrived I wanted delayed cord clamping and immediate skin to skin, absolutely no vaccines or eye ointment and we will be breastfeeding. 

The doctor (Dr. O’Dear) asked if he could do an exam real quick just to see where I am at, since I had just arrived at the hospital I agreed. After a quick exam, Dr. O’Dear said I was only 2 cm dilated and 75% effaced, I was a little upset. I mean I had been in active labor for the last 6 hours and I’m only dilated to a 2, come on I had been hoping I was at least a 4 or 5 cm dilated. 

After being hooked up to the fetal monitor for 20 minutes (the nurse Josie asked first), I was able to walk around, use the labor ball and finish my mountain dew. After a few hours, the contractions were getting worse and I was having a hard time standing due to getting shaky. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was starving and having my blood sugar drop or I was going into the second stage of labor. Jennifer the Doula said it was because I was going into the second stage, I honestly am not sure I was starving and I was tired. After a bit Josie asked if I could be hooked up to the fetal monitor again for about 20 minutes I said that is fine since it had been several hours.

What I haven’t told you is that my contractions were about 7 minutes long at this point and were rarely below a 4. Monitoring strip has a scale of 0-12 on it, 0 means no pain aka not having a contraction and 12 a means holy crap it freakin hurts kind of contraction. Each break between contractions was only 30-45 seconds long, not much of a break at all. Many times women who have epidurals can only tell they are having contraction by looking at the fetal monitoring paper. So what does a woman who doesn’t have any pain relief think about while having long and strong contractions? Well I thought about what I wanted to eat once I had this baby, mostly French fries, every time I breathed in I thought about what my French fries would smell like. After a while I then just started concentrating on my breathing and listening to the encouragement from Jennifer and Josh.

At some point probably about 4 pm I decide I want to lay down, my legs were getting shaky and the contractions were getting stronger. The nurses came in at the point to check to see if they could do another exam, Dr O’dear had been calling about every half hour to see if I had progressed. Eventually I said yes because it had been about 5 hours since my last one, I had only progressed to a 4. Seriously what the heck is going on, these contractions hurt like hell and I honestly could see why people ask for an epidural. Josie wanted to know if I wanted my water broke since it hadn’t broken yet and is probably why my contractions are so strong all around. Yes my contractions were not just front ones but they literally wrapped around my whole body at the hips, not fun at all. So they call Dr O’Dear and tell him that he needs to come in so he can break my water. I know many people are against having a doctor or midwife break their water, but I chose to for several reasons. 1. I was in active labor, and 2. I knew it will help relieve some of the back labor pains I was feeling.

While we were waiting for the doctor to arrive at the hospital, they decided to put my IV in with the heparin in my right hand. Which totally sucked since the first place they had it didn’t work, of course it didn’t work I was getting dehydrated from not being able to drink water and just eat ice chips. I was offered a popsicle but they only had grape and I detest grape. Once the IV was in it seemed like only a little bit before Dr. O’Dear came in.

Dr. O’Dear quickly broke my water and checked me, I was dilated to an 8 (hurray for progress). It felt like seconds after I told I was at an 8 that I felt the urge to push and from what I was told by my doula and husband it happened almost immediately. 

After the nurses and the doctor get the bed quickly fixed and I try to move into position, which hurt like the dickens because my sciatic nerve had been bothering me for a while and going to the chiropractor had helped some but not a lot. Dr O’Dear looked at me and said I was the only patient on the floor and I could be as loud as I needed to be while I pushed, so I took advantage of that and did what I call the mother’s roar. You that sound that isn’t a scream not is it a yelling but somewhere in between, that is what I did while I pushed for the 15 minutes it took to have my baby. During a break of pushing I could feel something painful at the top and I tried to point to it instead I poked my baby in the head because he was crowning. What I thought was the doctor poking me for some odd reason around my vagina was in fact the ring of fire, well sort of it only hurt at the top and the bottom not the whole way around.

At 6:06 pm my beautiful son Zane Michael Willis was born, 20 ¼ inches long and weighing in at 9 lbs and 8.3 ounces. They laid him on my belly until the cord stopped pulsing and let my husband cut the cord, I tried breastfeeding Zane but he was to busy looking around. I finally handed him over to the nurse to weigh and measure while the doctor sewed up my 3^rddegree tear. When the doctor told me I had torn I about cried, I had a 4^th degree tear with my daughter and was hoping I didn’t tear this time.

Zane is now almost 11 weeks old and is now 18 lbs, our breastfeeding relationship is going beautifully and I can’t wait to have another baby my way again. A birth without fear or unnecessary interventions.

Birth As Performance Art- Narcissism or Something More?

 

Recently a mother delivered her baby in a shocking place - not at home- not in a hospital,  but in an art gallery.  A Canadian Chiropractor birthed her baby live on the internet just before her midwives arrived.  A popular blogger had her first home birth and second vaginal birth after cesarean section viewed by thousands as it was live blogged a few months ago. Another popular birth blogger shares video of her home water birth. 

If you read some of the comments about these women you will find a wide range of cruelty.  From things like, "an artist can call a bowel movement art" to "these women are killing babies".  Why the hostility?!  Are women really live blogging/performing/streaming their natural births because they are dyed in the wool narcissists hungry for a buck or a little bit of pubic attention?

Possible- of course.  I don't know any of these women personally.  They could be just out for some much needed attention or money.  Of my four children I have not a single picture of any of their births.  And I didn't even want one.  Video- no way.  Live- you couldn't pay me enough.  The performing art birth is not something that I would ever do personally.

But....

Before we start to nail a few women to the wall for daring to disgust the world (OH MY!) by giving birth naturally and without a physician-  online no less, let us consider public birth.  Does it even exist?  Where can a bored birth blogger go to find some birth TV shows?

One Born Every Minute- Nice!  The pictures on the site are all of screaming/scared women in hospital gowns!  Birth must hurt!  
I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant- Who knew?  There are actually enough women out there who fail to realize they are pregnant to revolve a show around it.  Well, at least maybe they had natural births?!
A Baby Story- All different kinds of births, most ending with "good thing you were in the hospital."

All other situation comedy births- Woman goes into labor (by water breaking first of course, forget that that this alone rarely happens) then screams, then five minutes later pops out a hairy four month old while lying on her back!  Even if the baby is born in the elevator, she must lay on her back.  Because that is how it is DONE.  Birth is dramatic, painful, scary, and gosh dang it- happens fast and supine!

(I should admit here that I actually don't even have cable and have rarely if ever watched these shows.  How is that for full disclosure?  They could very well be showing one fantastic, empowering, IV free birth after another.  Or- maybe their births show that which is common in this country- Pitocin running rampant, 1 in 3 women getting a c-section, and lots and lots of hospital gowns.)

Before we jump on the- "That woman who blogged/performed/streamed her birth is a media sucking wench" bandwagon, maybe we should pause.  Yes, stop and remember one thing.  Women- and lots of them- are ALREADY giving birth on television all the time.  They may not be doing it live.  They may not be doing it at home.  But birth is everywhere on TV.  It is in reality shows and movies and in episodes of "The Office."  EVERYWHERE.

What is missing from the already very common portrayal of media birth is not birth itself, but something else.

What the media, and women, and our culture are missing about birth is the beauty of it.  We have no idea that it can be raw.  We have no idea that it can be amazing.  We forgot that it can be done squatting, standing or in a tub.  We neglected to tell our daughters that it can change you for the better and make you stronger while at the same time exposing your weakness. 

No birth doesn't have to involve an emergency, an IV, a foreign gown with an institutions name stamped on it (just in case you accidentally took it home and forgot where you got it), a doctor, a folding bed and knife.

Birth can be.....natural. 

Could it be that those brave women who dare to share their births with the world are not just publicity hounds who need some coin, but revolutionaries who want to change the way the world views birth, and even do it at their own expense.

I blog.  A LOT.  You will never see me live blog a birth of one of my children with a camera and nice lighting.  But lets not hate the women who choose to do this.  Let's give them the benefit of the doubt.  Let's assume that they are trying to counteract the overwhelming media images of birth as a horror with a few instances of birth as an event to be celebrated. 

Maybe all of us should be trying to teach our daughters what birth is meant to be, not what we have been told it is. 

A Healing 10 lb Baby- A Christian Mother's Story

What an amazing story.  It boggles my mind that there are those who think the birth experience doesn't matter.  It matters to WOMEN.  And it matters to babies.  What loving care this mother received and what a difference it made in the health and safety of her pregnancy!  Yea for midwives!

Enjoy!

 

Ehren's Birth Story

This is the story about the birth that changed my life - for the better and helped me learn what birth could be like and why we NEED natural birth.  Some day I will write Lily's birth story.  Still processing how I want to share it. 

When Lily was about 18 months old Brandon said that she needed a playmate.  Until then it really did not occur to me that we might get started on #2.  I was just so busy with Lily at the time.  So we started TTC.  After it didn't work the first month I started researching....  I became obsessed with learning as much as I could!  I wish I had read Taking Charge of Your Fertility at the time.  After 7 frustrating months we had a faint little positive line on the pregnancy test!

Now on to step two - have a better pregnancy and birth!

32 Weeks

I talked to other home birth mamas and did hours and hours of research.  After the impersonal at best and negligent at worst OB care I received I decided to see a midwife and have a home birth.

My second pregnancy went much better than the first one.  I ate healthier, exercised and didn't gain as much weight.  I got plenty of rest and relaxation and didn't have any problems.  No diabetes, no toxemia, no swelling.  I looked and felt so much better this time.  We took a Bradley class which was great.  We met nice people and learned a lot of good information about staying healthy and gained confidence through knowledge.

37 weeks

Ehren was due December 7th by traditional due date calculations, but really due on the 12th if you use NFP calculations. Ehren gave us a practice run the day before his due date.  I woke up in the middle of the night with contractions.  I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't and they kept getting closer.  From 6:00 to 8:00 they were 10 minutes apart.  When I got up to make breakfast they went away. We were a little disappointed but decided to make the best of it.  We went for a walk around the neighborhood and for a lunch date at Ninfas.  It was sunny and beautiful and Brandon and I enjoyed spending time together.

I didn't have any more contractions until the day after his due date, December 8th.  I woke up at 6:30 with contractions 2-4 minutes apart, but they were still rather mild.  When they didn't go away after we ate, I called the midwife and let her know what was going on and that I probably wouldn't make it to my appointment we had at 11.

I labored pretty calmly without much fuss.  Brandon would support me and remind me to relax and he made them so much better when I could lean on him.  At 10:45 he called my midwife and asked her to come over because the contractions were getting much more intense.  She came over and checked me at 11:30.  To our surprise, I was already 9 cm dilated.  Wow.  I thought to myself.  This is going to be a piece of cake! With the ok from the midwife (Toni) I hopped in the bathtub and Toni called her assistant Liz (whom I had by chance met at the grocery store the week before) and they set up the room with plastic and equipment while I labored in the tub.  The bathtub made the contractions feel better and I laughed and joked around between them.

When I started to feel shaky and queezy I decided that it was time to get out of the bathtub.  When I looked around my bedroom it was an amazing transformation!  Everything was set up and ready with supplies and the bed had plastic under the sheets.  The pillows were even encased in plastic with the pillow cases over them.  They were super efficient.  The contractions were much more intense after I was out of the tub.  Toni checked me and said I still had a lip of cervix that needed to get out of the way.  She gave me some options, wait, stand up during contractions, break water.  I said I wanted all three because it was getting quite painful and I was having a hard time relaxing.  When the cervix lip was finally gone, they told me that I could start pushing, but I did not like that at all!  I screamed so loud the windows shook and jumped up mid contraction.  Toni almost got kicked in the head (sorry!) I didn't feel stable on the birth stool, the bed was much too painful, pushing hurt more than not pushing so I breathed through some of the contractions.  I was getting very panicky by this time and Toni, Liz and Brandon were all working together to help calm me down. In my head what they were saying made sense, but my body just wanted to say NO, GO AWAY, and RUN myself out of there.

Toni suggested I go to the shower again and have a couple of contractions so we tried that and then I sat on the toilet.  I finally got the real urge to push when I was on the toilet and he dropped down almost immediately.  They hauled me off the toilet and back to the birth stool.  Brandon figured out the best way to support me, with his arms supporting me under my arms and I pushed!  Because he was behind me he didn't get to see Ehren coming out but I really needed him there to use as leverage.

As I was pushing I closed my eyes it seemed like I was no longer in my own body, I could vaguely hear what was going on but it didn't feel like it was me there.  Toni told Liz to get me some oxygen and that gave me strength (perhaps only in my head like Dumbo's magic feather).  I felt a ring of fire which was worse during the break between contractions and then after two contractions they told me his head was out. I figured the rest of him would slide out like the other babies I had seen, but no such luck.  I had to keep pushing and felt a ring of fire again (what?  Nobody told me about that!) and finally I felt the little legs slither out and a giant blue baby was put on my chest.  Liz gave him some oxygen and he turned pink and cried immediately.  Toni immediately thanked God for the safe delivery of Ehren.  (I'm so glad the spiritualism of Ehren's birth was honored by my midwife!)

He was born at 2:17 in the afternoon after a labor that lasted less than 8 hours.

Minutes old!

 He laid on my chest until the cord stopped pulsing and then Toni clamped it and Brandon cut it.  My mom and Lily came into the room as soon as they heard him cry and I was so happy to see them!

Ehren was cleaned with a towel and wrapped in a blanket while I moved to the bed to deliver the placenta.  One little push and it was out (much easier!)  I got to hold Ehren and look at him and nobody took him away.

After a while, Toni checked me and found a superficial but long tear along my (unnecessary) episiotomy scar that I got with my first baby.  She gave me two stitches which didn't hurt much at all.  She had been supporting me with warm washcloths and olive oil while I pushed (which felt much better).

I felt like quite a wuss about the whole transition and pushing and all the whining and complaining I put everyone through, but when they weighted and measured Ehren he was 10 pounds 1/2 oz and had a 13 3/4 inch head (moulded) and a 15 inch chest.  OH.  Ok, well I didn't feel quite as wussy when I found that out.  Toni also said that the giant baby head might have been dragging my cervix down instead of the cervix moving out of the way for it so that would have contributed to the difficult transition and me not wanting to push.

Recovery has been great!  I feel good emotionally and physically.  Didn't have very much soreness like with Lily with the exception of my back and arm muscles. 

My father and Ehren on his birthday

I am very grateful to my midwife Toni and assistant Liz for all their skills and the faith they had in me when I didn't think I could do it.  They made Ehren's entrance into the world as safe, gentle, natural and wonderful as it could have been.

Looking back I'm so glad we had a home birth.  Ehren was born so healthy and perfect with nobody tugging on him with forceps or trying to section me for a "big baby".  It is frightening to me to think about what could have happened at the hospital with the tendency of the Dr.s to overreact and the position I would have been forced to push in.  Article about lithotomy position

Ehren at 6 months old

I have grown so much from that experience.  I used to think in my head that I was in control of my life and circumstances, but labor showed me that GOD is in control.  I could not escape the feeling and had to surrender to it and ride it out.  It was a hard lesson for me to learn, but a valuable one for a mother.

P.S.  My home birth cost 1/5 the price of the hospital birth and my midwife must have spent about 10X more time with me.  She actually stayed with me and cleaned up afterwards.  I was treated like royalty instead of just another patient.  It felt nice to be mothered. :-)