Obstetric Lie #96- You NEED Us!

"In my personal experience, doctors are very much needed by about 3% of our patients, to do necessary cesarean sections. They are also needed by another 3% who, for various reasons, require to be delivered or medicated in birth. Of the remaining 94%, after careful prenatal training, the role for the doctor at the moment of birth is so insignificant as to be almost belittling, most of the time we doctors should merely be lifeguards, and be there for support and medical backup."
Dr Robert Bradley
Husband Coached Childbirth

When Dr Bradley was practicing as an obstetrician his c-section rate was around 3%. What is often forgotten is that this was not unusual at the time. All obstetricians had very low c-section rates. What made Dr Bradley especially different was that the vast majority of his patients had their babies without any medication or forced delivery methods.

He goes on to say this:

"We take a lot of kidding from our patients regarding this. 'What am I paying you for? I did all the work!' ....They realize that the most important work of their doctor is to stand by in case of unforeseen complications."

Yes, there are times when medicine and medical personnel are needed, just not near as often as we or they would like to believe.

We are currently looking at c-section rates over 30%.
Induction rates are high- some reports as high as 40%.
Epidural rates appear to be at least 70%.

The perception today, as it was then, is that medical interference was needed often if not always when it came to birth. By default, the medical doctor was needed all the time because only he could dispense that expertise.

What doctor Bradley, and other midwives and doctors like him found, was that women are perfectly capable of "delivering" their own babies. They did not need to be delivered. In fact, they were able to even catch their own babies.

What birthing mothers needed in place of medical expertise and intervention and drugs was confidence, education, a healthy body well prepared with nutrition and exercise, and a loving partner who also believed in them.

Was he a fan of unassisted birth? No- he knew that sometimes things did go wrong. What made him special was that he realized how rare that was, and he had no problem standing in the corner the rest of the time.

Birthing women need peace, confidence, faith, knowledge, health, training and love. They do not need 30% c-section rates nor do they need convenience inductions. Is it wise to have a medically trained person present at birth in case of complications? Yes (though I would never take away a womans right to choose otherwise or know what was best for her, weather that be hospital birth or otherwise).

The tricky part in birth is finding a person to attend your birth who believes in your ability to birth and is happy to NOT be needed.

Birth in peace~

Admit It- The Child is Difficult, Not Vivacious

Have you ever thought that about your own flesh and blood? You know the thought. You think it but you don't dare speak it. The though is this, "MY GOSH, this child is difficult!!!! Would she just sleep for love of all that is holy!?"

There is a lot of talk about how we describe our children and their personalities. High need, sensitive, smart, even (my favorite) vivacious! It kind of makes me laugh that we have to use words that truthfully, kind of sugar coat things.

I have a hard time being dishonest. Actually, I can accidentally be so truthful that I am outright rude. The same is true when it comes to my own children.

(Disclaimer- I fully expect to be torn apart for this post. But at this point I have realized that people will tear me apart for pretty much anything no matter how I meant it or not so I am throwing caution to the wind.)

Yes- I have a vivacious, sensitive, intelligent and high need child. Around here though she is often just referred to as "stinker pot" or "stormy" for her frequent turns of mood.

Oh we love her. And I mean we LOVE her. We really love her. She is the third so she has a brother and sister who both dote on her and adore her. Sometimes I think that if I had a favorite it would be her. (Of course I don't have a favorite, that would be wrong.) But I tell her every day that she is my favorite baby -- EVER.

She makes me laugh more than any of the other children ever did. I enjoy her more than I can describe. I thought she might be my last so I just held her and loved her and soaked her in when she was born. She is incredibly smart and talks and sings and plays earlier than I remember the others ever doing that. She is a joy and the most entertaining, fun filled child I have ever seen.

And though I would love to describe her as vivacious when she screams "NO!!! MINE!!!!" and smacks somebody in the face, honestly, that is not the first word that comes to mind. And though I know that as a supposed attachment parenting mom I should embrace the sleepless nights with a 17 month old who still wakes every two hours, I actually just want to scream. I guess I could scream but she is already screaming so it would be REALLY loud in the house if I joined in, at three AM no less. I should enjoy the sheer amount of NOISE that one child can produce on a nearly constant basis expressing her every need or displeasure or ache or pain. But, sometimes I just want some peace and quiet.

(I am not looking for advice on sleep training, co-sleeping, getting adjustments, parenting tips or anything else.) At this point in life I sincerely believe that some kids are just not good sleepers and some are. That is just how the chips fall sometimes. Some kids like to please those around them and will adjust their behaviour to do so. And some kids realize that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, and so they squeak.

Language is powerful and I understand that. I see the point in using nicer words to describe a child than the ones that immediately come to mind. I understand how calling contractions "rushes" could prepare your mind for a more painless labor. I have heard of labeling theory and I get it.

I also realize though that sometimes the truth is just the truth. Sometimes a kid is harder than others. There a lot of factors: circumstance, birth order, personality, patience of parents, and so on.

The point is not that we dare not tell it like it is. The truth is that sometimes a child is harder than another. Sometimes a child refuses to cooperate in the ways we would like. But the bigger truth is that there is nothing wrong with that.

Will I sometimes say this sweet child is difficult? YES! I will. Because it is sometimes the truth. The other half of that truth is that I love her all the more for it. I enjoy her more because she is strong willed and amazingly intelligent. My love for her grows stronger BECAUSE she requires more patience and kindness and understanding, not in spite of it.

So here is to embracing that difficult, screaming, no sleeping, "oh my gosh I think I am getting a tooth, you know that means I will wake up screaming hourly for a week mom" child. There is nothing wrong with the truth, difficult or not.

Coco's Birth- Birth Story

Another beautiful birth story day. Enjoy this fantastic birth center birth. Fantastically written and you can check out the mamas blog too- here.

Enjoy!

SEE THE SLIDESHOW HERE

The short version – Corinne Jae was born 3/2/09 at 1:03 pm in Peaster, TX at Heart’s Desire Midwifery Birth Center. I wrote this account three days later.

WARNING – IF YOU ARE A GUY WHO ISN’T INTO THIS TYPE OF THING, OR OTHERWISE SQUEAMISH ABOUT THE STATUS OF MY CERVIX, SKIP THIS POST! Thanks!

I know the gory birth story is the thing of interest here (and I will be quite verbose, no fear!) but I feel like I should mention a couple of things in preface.

1) My husband is the hands-down the best husband on this planet, and the best partner I could ever want. I wouldn’t have even considered choosing a birth center or home birth if I didn’t have Jason there with me. He challenges me to think bigger, learn more, and experience everything, then holds my hand when I doubt myself.

Through a series of fortunate events (beginning with the fabulous Trisha Blizzard, and then through Angelica and Lynsey), we found the perfect midwife for our baby and our birth. Kelly Miller is a huge part of our miracle. She helped us embrace our philosophy for our daughter from the moment Coco entered the world. Thank you Kelly – we love you so much for that!

3) I am a huge drama queen and my only disappointments with the birth were a) I wish it had been videotaped because I am too quickly forgetting, and b) had I known it wouldn’t be very long – I would have been a bigger crybaby in the first 4 hours.

Now – on with the show:

Monday morning, March 2, 2009, I had been awake for just a few minutes, and at 6:31 (official clock radio time!) I heard two little pops. For some reason the night before I had thought maybe I should start sleeping with a pad on since my due date was about a week away. The pops are followed by a little gush, and I get up, go to the bathroom, and shift around to see if I continue to gush, and just to confirm I didn’t pee on myself. I am, in fact, still leaking clear fluid, so I send a text to my midwife, Kelly. I didn’t want to wake up her whole house, and really, my plan was to go back to sleep at this point and see if I can rest until contractions start. It’s still pretty incredible to me that I can send a text message to my care provider (although she is pretty incredible all the way around!)

Here is the abridged version of our text exchange:
6:34am 3/2/09
Me: Good morning, my water just broke, Guess I won’t come to the hand meeting (Homebirth Association of North Dallas)… it is clear and no ctx… I will keep u posted. Nice of baby to wait for Monday…
Kelly: OK. Let me know. How much fluid?
Me: Not a 2-liter but two little pops and a small gush. Maybe half a cup?
Kelly: Ok – and Coco is still moving fine?
Me: She was moving fine last night haven’t felt anything this morning but will have a little cup of juice and let you know asap. Having a ctx now, but not too bad… Going to try to hold off on waking Jason.
Kelly: Sounds good, let me know.

7:34am 3/2/09
I check in with Kelly that I have timed 5 contractions, 5 minutes apart and we discuss the type of contractions. They are different than what I have had the past three weeks, but I have broken my water so it makes sense they would be different now. I also tell her I want Jason to be able to get up and leisurely pack the car, so she advises I should probably wake him up now.

Me (via text): I think I want the company now anyway.

I call Kelly and we talk a little more about how the contractions feel. At this point, I am simultaneously sending Lynsey Stone (our birth photographer) a message on Facebook, and figure I will actually call her later on if I haven’t heard back from her. She immediately calls me back too, because she is awesome like that. I also see on Google, it’s Dr. Seuss’s birthday. Go figure.

I make coffee (not for me – I don’t drink coffee) and go wake Jason up. I’ll interject that he has been furiously cleaning all weekend and I knew he probably didn’t go to bed until 3 or 4 am the night before.

Our conversation goes like this:
Me (shaking him gently): Hey, wanna have a baby today?
Him (waking up): Sure, why?
Me: My water broke.
Him: Where?

Later on that night, on our way home from the birth, I asked him what the heck kind of response “Where” was…. he replied that he assumed that he needed to clean it up.

He is a really awesome husband!

So, I caught him up to speed with my conversation with Kelly, and let him know Lynsey was notified and I leave him to wake up so I can finish up a couple of emails. He calls his parents, and just as we are packing up to leave, Kelly sends a check-in text.

There is a bit of blood and mucus in the water now, and I let her know we will be out the door in 10 minutes.

I text Lynsey in the car. I try to call my mom too, but she is sick home from work, so I leave her an undoubtedly bizarre message.

Somehow we make it to the birthing center (usually 1 1/2 hours away) in about an hour. This is the only time I use my carefully prepared Itunes labor list that I have working on for 6 months. It absolutely helps in the car, and contractions are manageable at 5 minutes apart.

Once we get to the center, Kelly checks me. I am dilated to a 4. Molly (who is the midwife over the entire center) calls Lynsey at about 11 to let her know and she plans to head out soon.

This is about the end of my rational thought – SO I will make my best guess about times from here on out.

After the check, they tell me the contractions will probably be rough for the next two or three contractions.

I want to lay on the bed on my side during the contractions, and Kelly wants me to stand up or be otherwise vertical. I argue with her (I’m arguing, she is gently suggesting), and we compromise to do three contractions laying down and three standing up. I think I did more than three laying down though – as I remember Kelly stepping out for just a moment, and thinking “ha, ha – I am having more than three and still laying down!”

I change in to my cute labor sundress (I had packed several) and put on a fashionable Depends undergarment since I am leaking and getting pretty bloody. They are on me to keep going to the bathroom, because an empty bladder makes for more comfortable contractions.

Around this time, I understand Molly asked Jason if it seemed like I had a noticeable change in demeanor. She came and let us know (in her very calm, collected voice) a few minutes later between contractions (score! still on the bed) that it seemed like I was progressing quickly.

I was so nauseous in between contractions, and I remember having brief moments where I thought about that being a sign of transition, but it was too soon for that (right? I had only been there an hour!).

Finally – and in reality this was probably only 30 minutes later – Kelly busted me and made get vertical. Someone suggested sitting on the giant birth ball, so I got situated on the ball at the end of the bed, with Jason sitting on the bed with my head in his lap and Kim (another excellent midwife who had taken over for Kelly for a couple of minutes) massaging my back.

A couple of contractions went by during which I recall starting to wanting to push, and thinking about getting in the pool, and wondering where my birth photographer was (since I was wearing a REALLY cute sundress!).

I told Kim, “I’m feeling really pushy, and it is too soon.” She told me it might not be too soon, and whenever I wanted to move into the pool we could go. I think the next contraction I decided I didn’t care anymore about looking cute, and it was time to move. I was flexible prior to labor about whether I would birth in the pool or not, but in the moment – it was absolutely where I wanted to be. The pool is like a heated, jetted hot tub, with thick padding, not like your garden tub in your master bath.

Molly mentioned somewhere in this time that Lynsey was struck in traffic in Weatherford (who knew Weatherford has traffic?) but had been instructed to “come in shooting.”

Kim was stripping the top off the pool while I was having Jason strip me down. I was insistent it was time to get in the pool. It is about noon, maybe 12:15. It is a beautiful day outside, and I can actually see the horse pasture from the window right over the tub. Little thoughts like that are a calming moment in between the insanity of my body working to expel my little alien.

Kelly checked me in the pool after a couple of contractions. Kelly declared I was completely dilated with the exception of a cervical lip.

Now, I have NO idea what a cervical lip is in all practicality, and I can’t describe for you what that means. But I quickly learned that the options were to wait it out for the “cervical lip” to move on it’s own, or Kelly could manually hold it back, but that wouldn’t be very comfortable.

I spend a couple of contractions seeing if the lip moves, and while it does decrease, my patience is also decreasing! Time to get baby out, and they can do whatever they need to at that point. I think Kelly was holding the lip, which meant her hand was inside of me during some contractions, but I don’t recall feeling it, or thinking that I would rather wait. The jets get turned off in the whirlpool in expectation of pushing.

I think now I am floating face up in the pool and pushing. I am thrusting my feet against the side of the pool, and people are telling me to relax and I am thinking they are crazy if they think I can push while floating and “relaxing”. I am not at the beach checking out the ocean floor in scuba gear.

Someone has the brilliant idea to tell me to flip over, sort of on my hands and knees, but with a leg out, and some other complexities. I manage to flip over, hanging my arms over the edge of the pool, and tell them to move my legs around to where ever they see fit.

I think my expectation of pushing was more like having a large puppy, and less like birthing a baby giraffe. It felt much more like a baby giraffe or a baby calf, all legs and arms flopping out – although in the end – they handed me a baby human, not a baby horse.

I had moments of lucid thought where I found it absolutely fascinating that I could hear and feel the bones in my body shifting to allow the bones in her body to escape. Those moments were few and far between – but I did have them. I did not feel a “ring of fire” although I am not sure if that was a result of the water, or something Kelly was doing on her end.

Someone later asked if I screamed a lot. I don’t think I screamed, since that would have been unproductive, but I made a lot of noise. If you have seen “The Business of Being Born” – Ricki Lake’s midwife (Cara Muhlhahn) shows her birth on that documentary. She seemed to make the most obnoxious guttural cow noises while birthing her baby. Yeah – that is what I think I sounded like! And as I was doing it, I kept thinking that I sounded like “that annoying midwife on BOBB.”

I felt Coco shift down during one contraction, and I think Kelly could see the top of her head. She then went back up, and thankfully someone told me that was normal and she would come out more on the next contraction.

The next contraction came, and baby stayed lodged down in that odd place with her 13 3/4 inch head wedged at the bottom of my pelvis. In these progressively-getting-weirder moments of calm between contractions, I reflected on the positive feedback Kelly had given me weeks prior regarding the ischial spines in my pelvis. They are not sharp, particularly, and I wondered if I would be feeling a stabbing pain if they had been. Some people have sharp ischial spines. I have a good pelvis for birthing I think and that made me confident weeks in advance.

Logical thoughts in a totally illogical moment, but I survived without fixating on the fact that there was a baby lodged in me, and she was escaping at any cost.

Pretty quickly and after a few more pushes – she was out. Well, the tough part was. Her head and shoulders were free but I stopped short of pushing the rest of her out.

My overactive brain waited for that moment to recall that one of the best ways to prevent perineal tearing was to “breathe” the baby out, letting the body do the work, rather than forcing her out with pushing. So – with baby half out – I decided now was the time to breathe the baby out.

Fortunately – my ever-so-competant team told me to push her out, and Kelly’s urgent tone, coupled with Jason whispering in my ear “you have to finish the job!” persuaded me to get her out.

Baby has broken free, and I am alive after a few slightly surreal moments of thinking I might break in half. It is 1:03 p.m. – 6 and a half hours after the first indication a baby would be coming today.

If you are so inclined to envision it – I now have a baby out of the water, but I am on my hands and knees and she is behind me. I had seen videos of babies born this way, so when Kim told me I needed to lift a leg and spin around so Coco could lay on my chest, I knew what to do. The cord was a little short so she laid on my chest without nursing while we waited for the cord to stop pulsing. I realize Lynsey made it just in time about now, and am so excited. I am trying to get slightly covered up so we have some decent PG-13 birth pool pictures. She hasn’t screamed like most babies coming into the bright lights of a hospital room. In fact, it will be 2 days before we hear her really let loose a good scream, but in her first moments she is serene and alert, adjusting to life on the the outside world.

After the cord stopped pulsing, Jason cut it and he took Coco to a chair in the corner of the room and wrapped her up and talked to her.

I eventually delivered the placenta in the water about 30 minutes later. The placenta birthing was an annoyance. There is no way around saying that. I was anticipating it being something like birthing the baby, so I wasn’t mentally willing it free, though it wasn’t anything like that. No bones. The midwives reminded me there were no bones, and that I would feel a lot better without the placenta in there. Somehow they talked me in to it (although I am sure that placenta was coming out whether I accepted it or not!) and I pushed the placenta out too.

I will interject here that at no time did anyone tug on the cord or try to massage my uterus to hurry the placenta out, or anything of the sort. I knew they weren’t going to do that – but for some reason now that my slightly rational brain had reappeared, I was concerned about the uncomfortable details of giving birth again.

After that, I got out of the pool (which was NOT a gory mess, surprisingly) and wrapped up in a robe. I go back to the bedroom, where my body figures out that I have done something different today than I usually do on Mondays.

Right after was like having the flu for 30 minutes – I was hot, then cold, and I finally threw up. I held the baby for a few minutes and she nursed, then she went back to daddy so I could concentrate on recovering for a bit. Jason called our families and sent a first picture via text message. All they got on that first call was her name, which we hadn’t told to anyone, and time of birth. Weight and height would be a little later.

Quickly I felt stable, and a post birth herbal bath was drawn complete with candles and another great view (in a different room) of the beautiful day outside. After I was in there a few minutes, Coco came in too, and immediately looked completely at peace submerged back in the water. In theory, only her face was exposed, but every time we tried to submerge her feet, she would startle. Kooky Pisces water baby. So she floated on me mostly underwater with her face and toes exposed for a while.

After our bath, we did our newborn exam and determined she was 7 lbs 12 oz and 20 inches long. Jason held the scale while she was weighed, and she gripped our fingers while Kelly did all of the necessary examining.

My turn was next – nothing extraordinary to tell here, it was once again confirmed that I did NOT break in half during the whole event, and in fact suffered only a minor tear that optionally got one stitch. Most likely, had I not had an episiotomy with Todd’s birth, that tear could have been avoided too.

Molly distracted me with a story about surgical glue while Kelly put in my one stitch. And yes, even with a drug-free birth – you still get lidocaine for the stitch! They also sweet talked me through it by promising me a Tylenol afterwards. Nothing says good times to me like some old-fashion pharmaceuticals!

Lynsey’s baby Eden had arrived while all of this was going on, and we got Coco dressed and Lynsey snapped a couple of pictures of the two of them together before she left. We weren’t far behind, pulling out of the birth center about 8 pm, with our perfect 7 hour old baby. We stopped at Starbucks for an iced green tea (Coco and I stayed in the car), and headed home for some spaghetti and a lovely first night together in our own bed.

One might say were extremely lucky to have such a relatively easy birth, although there is another school of thought that most births would be relatively easy if treated in a way that respects the natural process that our bodies are designed for.

I don’t have an agenda one way or another. I have friends who have had wonderful planned c-sections and I respect their choices and decisions just like I want them to respect mine. My hope is that we have options to choose a path that will put us in the best position to have the birth we want. If labor and baby hadn’t cooperated, I truly believe I would have been okay with a transfer or even a c-section – healthy Coco was always my top priority. But, my implicit trust in Jason, Kelly, Kim and Molly gave me the freedom to focus on laboring in a completely safe environment where I could let my guard down and just be. It is an unusual way to spend a Monday, but something I would recommend to anyone who wants to live in the moment…

Hope

Hope- 1) to cherish a desire with anticipation; 2) trust

Isn't hope a beautiful thing? I love it. One of my children even has that as a middle name.

When I am saddest in life it is when I have lost hope. It is the knowledge that things will turn out well. The desire for something better and the faith that it will happen. It makes the sad times easier and the disappointments more manageable.

Hope is necessary for life to go on. It buoys us up when all evidence points to the contrary.

Hope is necessary for birthing mothers. All around us we hear negativity. We hear comments about our beautiful roundness that are not beautiful comments. We might be chastised for planning a natural birth, when so many think that is just not possible and we should settle for whatever we are given.

When we plan home birth we hear horror stories about mamas and babies who wouldn't have "made it" if they were at home. When we plan breastfeeding we hear stories of women with no milk and starving babies. We are told to lower our expectations.

Do these things happen? Of course they do. Does it mean we shouldn't even bother? Only if we would rather plan for misery. There is enough of misery in the world without us planning on it.

But being hopeful is not silly or childish or pointless. It helps us see the joy around the corner when we can't see it yet. When times are the worst we need it the most.

I have been feeling somewhat hopeless about some things in my life lately. All I was left with, when I lost hope, was crushing, debilitating, misery.

I am choosing hope. I will choose it despite my fears about all the things that can and may go wrong. I will chose hope despite the evidence to the contrary and despite a past that discourages it.

Hope is worth the effort. Though not a guarantee of perfect outcome, it is a guarantee that as we plan we will be happier. It does promise us that if things don't go as we had hoped, we will still have enough light left within us to see the end from the beginning.

Here's hoping....

36 Obvious Reasons You Are Capable of Natural Birth

We hear so much negativity about birth these days that it sometimes gets lost in the shuffle that women are divinely designed to birth babies. This is a miracle, but it is also so totally normal and a simple bodily function. Here are a few reminders (yes, many of them obvious) of the truth that we have forgotten about our bodies.

1. You are a woman
2. Your mother was a woman and she gave birth to you.
3. As was your grandmother and all of their mothers before them.
4. Women have literally for 1000's of years been doing this and surviving. The proof is that we are all HERE.
5. Medical doctors stepped into birth only about 100 years ago, and yet people were breeding successfully all that time before.
6. You have a vagina.
7. You got pregnant.
8. You are gestating beautifully.
9. All the discomforts and aches and pains, though possibly annoying, prove that your body is DOING its job.
10. You have breasts.
11. Those breasts exist in large part for one reason: to feed your offspring.
12. Your monthly cycle.
13. Many natural urges exist in part to bring about this child.
14. Your growing abdomen.
15. Your extra weight gain.
16. Your full breasts.
17. Your food cravings.
18. Your pre-labor or Braxton-Hicks contractions show that your body is preparing to birth.
19. Stretch marks indicate growth and fertility.
20. The epidural= new invention.
21. The episiotomy= also, new (and unnecessary).
22. The c-section= again new, and yet, women most often survived birth during all those years.
23. Your bones and ligaments are moving and softening to open for the baby.
24. You have hips.
25. You have a pelvis, and it is very different than that of a man.
26. Your pelvis, though bony is movable.
27. Have a big butt? Embrace it- it is a sign of your fertility.
28. Small butt? That's OK too- you will just fit in your skinny jeans faster. Your pelvis still moves.
29. Your ancestors for 1000's of years gave birth with no medical intervention, and they must have survived, because, here you are! (I know, a repeat- it is important!)
30. Birth is the natural end and climax of the act of making love.
31. Worried about birth pain? Don't be. Contractions are natures way of letting you know that your baby is coming. Without this warning system, we could drop our babies ANYWHERE, safe or not. The birth process is necessary preparation for a safe arrival.
32. Your baby moves- he or she is preparing you to love them.
33. Your babies movement also shows how good you are (without even trying I might add) at feeding and growing a baby.
34. All prenatal tests are new inventions. Your ancestors also gave birth without these.
35. Even 50 years ago the c-section rate was around 4%. This "need" for constant surgery is a new occurrence.
36. Worried about motherhood? The birth process and all its stages are also helping prepare you to mother with confidence. The lessons you learn in labor (faith, excitement, hard work, pain, joy, giving up, euphoria) will all be repeated over and over as you raise your children. It is natures preparation for mothering.

ACOG Strikes Again

Just when I think I have nothing else to write about, they go and issue an "opinion." They is ACOG (American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) and the opinion is on home birth no less. Here is a link to the "opinion" so you can read it in full. (As an aside, did you know that this group, that has paved the way for a 30%+ c-section rate actually,

"strongly advocates for quality health care for women, maintains the highest standards of clinical practice and continuing education of its members, promotes patient education, and increases awareness among its members and the public of the changing issues facing women's health care."

Yes, it actually says that in their description of themselves. Deep breath. )

Lets begin at the beginning, shall we?

"although the absolute risk of planned home births is low, published medical evidence shows it does carry a two- to three-fold increase in the risk of newborn death compared with planned hospital births."

Well, I can get behind the whole absolute risk of planned home birth is low, but it carries a two to three- fold increase in the risk of newborn death? Is this true? Lets check the sources for these studies cited in the "opinion".....

Wait, they didn't cite their sources. Are we dealing with a physicians group or not? Maybe they got called away to an emergency birth and didn't have time to cite their sources. That's fine, I can go see if I can find some with the handy dandy Internet. I have no doctorate so we shall see how it goes.

Wait! Here is one, from Canada but a nice big study. And I quote:

"Results: The rate of perinatal death per 1000 births was 0.35 (95% confidence interval [CI] 0.00–1.03) in the group of planned home births; the rate in the group of planned hospital births was 0.57 (95% CI 0.00–1.43) among women attended by a midwife and 0.64 (95% CI 0.00–1.56) among those attended by a physician. "

That looks suspiciously like the rate of death in the physician attended hospital group was 0.64 but was 0.35 in the midwife attended home birth group, almost half! No, this can not be the study they were referring too, the data is switched, more people are dying WITH the doctors. I must keep searching.

Here is another study. They found that:

"CONCLUSIONS: The perinatal hazard associated with planned home birth in the few women who exercised this option was low and mostly unavoidable."

This must not be the study that ACOG was thinking of either, it seems to indicate that sometimes, things just go wrong.

Ahh, this just might be it. A study in Washington done by looking at birth records which found that home birth was less safe than hospital birth. Here is Henci Goer tearing it apart for bad research practices and including pre-term and unplanned or unattended home birth in their data. This might be the famous "home birth kills" study that appears to be deeply flawed.

Lets move on though.

"A review of the data also found that planned home births among low risk women are associated with fewer medical interventions than planned hospital births."

Ahh, interesting. This is on of the big reasons why women choose to birth outside of the hospital and far far away from anybody associated with ACOG. Yes, even they admit (because maybe they don't realize that interventions are a BAD thing?) that home birth tends to result in much lower intervention rates.

I am getting tired but I am going to keep trudging through this "opinion" paper. Lets just skip to the end.

"The recommendations state that a prior cesarean delivery is an absolute contraindication to planning a home birth due to the risks, including uterine rupture. Women who want to try for a vaginal birth after cesarean are advised to do so only in a hospital where emergency care is immediately available. Attempting a home birth also is not advised for women who are postterm (greater than 42 weeks gestation), carrying twins, or have a breech presentation because all carry a greater risk of perinatal death."

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the dangers of birth for women who have already been literally cut by a prior hospital intervention, or were crazy enough to go post dates or have twins. They need to be in a hospital where interventions they are trying to avoid are readily available.

I am not even going to take the time to look up studies to contradict this. In fact, I have no doubt that there are higher risks with VBAC, twins or post date pregnancies. Instead of trying to prove ACOG wrong with studies, lets just look at something that they themselves stated just a few months ago when they came out with a new VBAC statement. (TOLAC refers to trial of labor after cesarean.)

"most women with one previous cesarean delivery with a low-transverse incision are candidates for and should be counseled about VBAC and offered a TOLAC. In addition, "The College guidelines now clearly say that women with two previous low-transverse cesarean incisions, women carrying twins, and women with an unknown type of uterine scar are considered appropriate candidates for a TOLAC,"

Nowhere do they say that they endorse home birth, but they do admit that women should be "allowed" to labor even if they have had more than one c-section or if they are carrying twins AFTER a previous c-section.

They also go on to admit some of the problems that can be avoided if a woman is able to VBAC rather than have a repeat cesarean.

"A VBAC avoids major abdominal surgery, lowers a woman's risk of hemorrhage and infection, and shortens postpartum recovery. It may also help women avoid the possible future risks of having multiple cesareans such as hysterectomy, bowel and bladder injury, transfusion, infection, and abnormal placenta conditions (placenta previa and placenta accreta)."

Lets end with a sentence from ACOG's new opinion.

"A review of the data also found that planned home births among low risk women are associated with fewer medical interventions than planned hospital births."

Boys, let me get this strait- you admit that home birth has fewer interventions than hospital birth. You also admit that attempting a VBAC is safe as is twin delivery. You admit to the high success rates of VBAC. You also claim to advocate for patient safety and education.

Ladies and gentlemen, the reason so many women birth at home, in PARTICULAR when they are attempting VBAC or are higher risk for some reason, is that they WANT to avoid those higher hospital intervention rates. They know that they will be fighting an uphill battle if they dare gestate for longer than 40 weeks. They know that they are simply less likely to be interfered with if they birth at home.

I am not saying that ACOG is totally off base. There is some truth in their statement. I wholeheartedly agree that you must choose your birth attendant carefully and have plans in place for transfer or possible emergencies. Planning a home birth is NOT fool proof. Things can go wrong. Educate yourself. Know what is safe and legal. Know what your attendant is capable of and how well trained he or she is. Do everything you can to prepare for good outcome.

But I do hope that women will continue choose birth that is safe, beautiful, and natural and not be scared off by this ridiculous statement unbacked by any research notes.

What speaks louder than anything to me is that ACOG takes the time to even comment on home birth. They must know that only about one percent of women in America choose to birth this way. And yet, they are worried about it.

I think the reason that the powers that be care at all about home birth is not that they are worried about yours or my safety, it is because they realize on some level, that birth can be much more than they will ever be able to offer in their hospitals. They don't want the word to get out. That, could hurt their bottom line.

Birth safe.

Birth Story- A Positive C-Section

I have been posting positive birth stories on this blog for months now and this birth story is different than an others I have ever posted. I think it is important to read and very telling about what does and does not make for a good birth experience. For one, a good birth is different to every woman. That being said, I have noticed that how happy people are with their birth experience has more to do with how kindly and respectfully they are treated than where or how they birth. Enjoy!

I moved across the globe at 32 weeks pg. I was single and didn't know anybody. I had worked labor and delivery years before but really didn't know anything that hadn't been fed to me by medical staff. I was 40 weeks along when I finally allowed the nurse practitioner to even check my cervix, as she was doing so I told her it was pointless as I hadn't even had any CTX yet, she laughed and told me I was having one right then, further more I was already 4 cm.

Then she sent me on my way. I spent the weekend preparing, and on Sunday went out sightseeing with some new found friends. We spent the entire day out and about. I got home just after dinner time and finally went to bed. I couldn't sleep. so I got up and took a hot bath, ran out of hot water ( stupid broken tank lol).

So finally around midnight-1 am I called my friend and asked her to come get me and take me in, all I wanted was some sleep aids as I still didn't feel CTX. When I got to the hospital I was checked and found to be 5 cm. I asked for sleep aids and was offered an epidural. Even though I wasn't feeling CTX I agreed if it would help me sleep. By the time the Anesthesiologist got there the CTX were hard. so I was thankful. I fell fast asleep. In the morning I awoke to the Midwife saying this is no way to have a baby (he wasn't the kind to mince words) I just lay there thinking it was the perfect way to have a baby. A few hours later I was uncomfortable and briefly regretted the epi since I couldn't get up.and we'd discovered that the baby was facing up so moving me into different positions trying to get him to turn was difficult.

After 2 hours the Midwife finally called the Doc. he got there and came to talk to me. I remember how sweet he was assuring me I was doing a great job and that if I wanted I could keep pushing. It had been more than 3 hours at this point so I point-blank asked if the baby was moving and he said in a very disappointed voice, no I don't think he is, and he's too high for forceps. So I agreed to a C/S. they dosed up my EPI becasue it was a holiday and the surgical staff was doing an emergency appendectomy (I wouldn't have let them call in the back-up team without an emergency)

An hour and a half after the decision was made we went in and I had a C/S. The first thing the midwife said was WOW that is a big baby. While they worked they both ( Dr and Midwife) commented on how I had plenty of room in my pelvis. that just a cm less angle to his head and he would have flown out, but as it was my 9 lb 15 oz baby was not only facing backwards, but had his head tilted at just an angle to be completely lodged. My midwife told me that no matter what they'd tried it would likely not have worked because he was seated in there very well. they also laughed and said that his giant cone head proved I was an awesome pusher.

In the days after my birth my Dr. the surgeon mind you made a point to tell me that I was totally capable of VBAC'ing a baby at least this size if not bigger. He was so supportive, The midwife supported me insisting I had done everything that could be. I honestly had no clue why they were doing this. I felt emotionally fine about it all sure I was sore, but my baby was healthy and to me that WAS the important thing.

I share this because my story has many of the "natural birth" horror elements yet for me it was a satisfying experience that I have no problems with to this day. I am the poster child for successful VBAC. and I would never chose an elective C/S. I'm now a doula and active VBAC supporter. But my most recent VBAC was far more traumatic than my C/S. I had everything lined up against me the first time, no family, no close friends, co-workers delivering my baby, single mom with no involvement from the baby-daddy. But because of the support and care of my medical providers I had a positive experience.

During my last (3rd) textbook perfect- VBAC wonder story ( 9 .6 lbs flew out in 3 pushes) I was left with a lot of emotional trauma because of a horses posterior Doc.

~

I would like to add a note not really as part of my birth story but feel free to post it too. I have spent many years working in the OB field, don't assume that your staff does these things because they don't care,. With my second birth I asked my Dr. ( different one) What he thought about VBAC vs C/S and he said " I'm a jaded OB, I will choose C/S every time because I can control that. that doesn't make it your best option". See he worried more during a VBAC because it's out of his control, but he stood by my decision. I've seen medical staff cry right alongside a patient with a bad outcome. I'd seen a Docs get angry with themselves even though there was nothing they could have done. And I've sat in staff meetings were we scoured every second of a birth for any minute thing we could have done differently. Most of us care. we're just uninformed.

Anyway I certainly hope this made sense. I am a genuine supporter of no-intervention and Birth centers. To be frank I have seen just enough genuine emergencies that HB would never be an option for me. I don't want to come across as Pro-C/S because I'm NOT I just don't want anyone to think they should feel less of a woman, of a mom, because they had a C/S.

I Am Modern Medicine- Kneel At My Altar

You need me.

The more you use me, the more you will realize how much you need me.

Feeling sick? Your body cannot heal itself. You need me. Healing is the same as covering symptoms anyway. I have a pill for whatever ails you.

Is that pill making you sick? Damaging your lifestyle? Causing you pain, nausea, vomiting, dry skin, aching, dizziness, vertigo, temporary blindness, lethargy, swelling, dry mouth, (and in rare cases, death or dismemberment)?

Don't worry. Don't fear. Don't question me. I have another pill to fix what the first or second or third pill caused.

Health?! Well, what does that mean anyway? Health is relative. What matters is that you are symptom free.

What do you mean, "What about what is causing these symptoms?"

Does it matter? The human body is complex. It makes mistakes. It is my job to fix the things that go wrong.

You say you don't need me for basic bodily functions? You think that things like BIRTH are normal?! You think that they are safe?!

How little you know!

I have seen people who can't go to the bathroom without my help! And a woman deliver a baby, on her own no less?! Ludicrous.

Haven't you heard how much that hurts!? Have you seen the size of your body and the size of a baby? Women used to DIE all the time in childbirth. And their babies died too. You don't want that, do you?

What? You have heard that those deaths were due to poor sanitation, poor nutrition and hemorrhage? I have personally seen over and over birth go wrong in SECONDS. You must be in a hospital in case of that eventuality.

Someone told you that hospitals cause some of those emergency problems in birth?! WHO are you talking to? Did they go to medical school?

Plus the unbearable pain of birth! What woman needs to suffer like that to have a child? Why not lie back, take a nap, and let me take care of things. You don't have to feel a thing. (Well, until after...)

You have heard that unnecessary "interventions" may cause your birth to be more dangerous?! Who told you that!? (Deep breath.) You never know when you will need an IV, so why not put it in as soon as you walk in to the hospital? You never know when the baby will stop getting oxygen, so why not be attached to monitors through your labor? You never know when the placenta will turn to calcified mush, so lets just induce on your due date? You never know if your hips are big enough, so why not just avoid the "pain" of labor and cut the baby out?

You will be glad you did.

I am not just Modern Medicine. I am your friend. I am your confidant. I am your savior. I can protect you from not just life's aches and pains, but from death itself. I am more than an ethereal thought, global superpower, a money making machine. I am your religion. Worship me.

CAUTION: Pregnant, Handle With Care

I am feeling sensitive. Maybe I am always sensitive, but you could argue that pregnancy increases sensitivity in most women. It most certainly does in me. I am not even half way pregnant and I have already lost count of how many people have asked me if I am having twins, told me it is going to be a big baby, or guessed me to be due in two months rather than four or five.

Ouch.

I realize on some intellectual level that they don't mean to be hurtful. Maybe this is our societies twisted way of embracing and celebrating fertility. "You are huge!" But frankly it just makes me want to go home and cry.

I have read blogs with cute comebacks for all these comments, but the truth is, I never say anything back and I certainly don't have a smart and snappy jab for the person. I honestly don't think they mean anything by it. Instead I just smile and nod and mutter something about my healthy babies...

I think the reason I have no response is because I feel the same way! I feel huge. I am already uncomfortable. I honestly don't know how I can make it until this summer. Plus, even in awesome, running 16 miles a week shape, I am very touchy about my figure.

The truth is we don't live in a culture that embraces curves or fertility or extra padding. The ideal is skinny, even for a childbearing woman. Even for a pregnant woman! We praise those who just get the baby bump and gain weight nowhere else.

Well, I don't just gain weight in my "stomach". Everything gets bigger. My shirts don't fit- in the ARMS! I have talked to women who can wear their pre-pregnancy jeans with a rubber band to the end of their pregnancy. How is that humanly possible? Don't they gain weight in their legs and butt?! I don't get it.

I have also talked to women who get their feelings hurt because everybody tells them how small they are. I thought that was a compliment! I guess I won't say that any more. But they felt like were not growing a healthy big enough baby. This woman WANTED that big beautiful fertile look.

Well, I don't have any words of advice for the "Maybe it is twins?" group of comment makers. Why? I don't think they mean to be hurtful. I really think that people don't know how to deal with the curves of fertility. I think they are a little uncomfortable with the obvious sign that I have had sex in the not so distant past. They are trying to embrace the beauty of childbearing in a culture that rejects it from all sides. (Women can have sex, when they are on billboards, but not MOTHERS! EWWW!)

But, in truth, pregnancy is something for the whole world to see and embrace and celebrate. It is obvious that we are growing a child, that we are fertile and yes, even sexual, at a time when people would really rather prefer to think that we are nothing of the sort. (Seriously, who wants to think about the fact that their MOM did that?)

So, instead of advice, comebacks, or words of wisdom, I am simply offering up this post in the sincere hope that it will help me beam with pride when somebody mentions what large babies I grow. I will try to embrace tummy and my arms and EVERYTHING that is growing. And, I will try to remember how sensitive the pregnant woman is in 30 years when I am no longer fertile but want to celebrate the beauty of pregnancy with some young woman.

Chin up ladies!

A Natural Hospital Birth- Birth Story

This is a great healing birth story. I found the end very interesting also- it is so very normal to want some pain relief at the end of labor even when planning an all natural birth. Remember how important it is to have supportive people around you who understand your desires. Enjoy!


On September 13, 2010, three days before my estimated due date, around 3:30pm or so, I started having contractions that were between 5 and 15 minutes apart. They weren't really uncomfortable or anything...I could talk through them and be pretty active for the most part. I had spent the majority of the afternoon cleaning, so I just figured that my cleaning spree had started the contractions. I figured that they would fizzle out after a couple hours.

Things went on normally for the next couple hours. We made dinner and ate, put Reilly to bed, I took a shower, and we got into bed. I was trying to time my contractions, but they were still erratic...lasting anywhere from 30-45 seconds and coming every 2-5 minutes or so. Around 12:15 am, my contractions got intense enough that I had to concentrate on them, and I decided that we should probably start getting ready to head to Justin's house to drop Reilly off to stay the night. I didn't see any need to rush, but we couldn't really diddle around for very long since we had quite the drive. We got Reilly up and loaded into the car. My contractions by this point were still pretty erratic. I wasn't at all worried, I just wanted to make sure we got to the hospital in time.

We dropped Reilly off at Justin's house around 1am or so and promptly drove to Tripler (Army Medical Center). By the time we got to Tripler and up to Labor and Delivery, it was almost 1:30am. We had to stop multiple times on the way up to the L&D floor because I was having contractions. Thankfully there was no one in the hospital walking around since it was so early in the morning. I got there and they got me into triage so that I could get checked and see what I was at. I told the OB how far apart my contractions were and everything. She didn't really seem to think that I was in labor, and she probably assumed she would send me home. I got into triage, only to find out that I was dilated to 5cm. It seemed like I was doing a lot more work. They monitored my contractions, and like I had been feeling, they were pretty erratic. The OB (the midwives didn't arrive to L&D until 6am) said that I had a couple options...I could be admitted or I could go walk around for a little bit. I didn't think I could go for a little stroll, but I didn't want to get admitted because that would mean I would have to be put on constant fetal monitoring, which I didn't want. The nurse said I could stay there for a little bit and think it over, so I stayed in triage to think it over.

By this point I was having a really hard time coping with the pain, and told Brad that I wanted an epidural and pitocin because I just wanted to get this done and over with. I was so tired and the contractions hurt so bad that I couldn't get a handle on them. Everything that I could try to use for coping wasn't working. I was getting really frustrated with myself and the pain and all I wanted to do was stop it. Right around the time I made this decision, my water broke (officially at 2:40am). The nurse came back in to verify that my water had broken and that there was no meconium in there. The OB came back in to check and see how far I was dilated. No meconium in my water (yay!) and in the hour or so since I had initially been checked, I went from 5 cm to 8 cm.

(Note: no one realized I was in transition. It was my husbands first biological child, and to be honest, my OB and nurse weren't in tune with natural child birth at all. Both the OB and nurse continually asked if I wanted pain medication and that, coupled with the fact that I was in transition and at a very difficult part of my labor made it easy for me to sign away to get an epidural. Had they been a little more in tune with natural child birth, or bothered to pay attention to my birth plan, which stated that I would ask for pain medication, I don't think I would have even asked. I still beat myself up over asking for it. The nurse even had the nerve to say "Oh so you're done trying to be a hero" once I told them that I had reconsidered pain medication.)

I told the OB that I had decided that I wanted to get pain meds. She brought in paper work for me to sign. I kept having contractions that seemed to be getting closer together by the second. They brought me a wheelchair to get me to a delivery room, but the contractions got so bad and suddenly, I felt this really intense urge to push. I told the nurse that I felt like I had to push. She told me not to push (yea alright...) and she quickly checked me and after that it was such a blur. I was still in triage, and there were people rushing in left and right with birthing utensils . I didn't have the chance to get an IV (I didn't want one per my birth plan) and they barely had a chance to get the fetal monitor on my stomach. I started pushing with my instincts for the most part. They coached for a few of them but for the most part, I pushed all by myself. When she started crowning, they notice that she had meconium in her hair, so I had to give super big pushes at the end so they could get her out fast. I don't remember the crowning causing pain, or the tell-tale ring of fire. My contractions hurt more than any pushing I was doing. They tried to get me to lower the bed, but I wanted it so I was sitting up, not laying down. I was half laying down when I started pushing and it was too painful. (In hindsight, I should have gotten up and moved around during the end of my labor and the pushing stage, but I wasn't concentrating.) I am so thankful that my daughter had other plans when it came to coming out. If it had taken any longer, I would have gotten the same, exhausting, drug induced experience that I had with my first daughter, and I am so glad it turned out differently. I will never have anything other than a natural, drug and intervention free birth again (unless absolutely necessary).



Ophelia was born at 2:54am on September 14, 2010. They put her directly on my chest, and cleaned her up from there. I had two small labial tears, neither required stitches. After they cleaned all of us up, they moved us all from triage to an actual labor and delivery room so they could take her vitals and I could get cleaned up more before they transferred me to the mother/baby ward. She weighed 7lbs 15.8oz and was 20" long, with a head full of red hair and blue eyes.



This birth was completely different that my first. With my oldest daughter, I was young, and went into my pregnancy with the notion that "I'll try natural childbirth, but if it gets to be too much, I'll just get the drugs.", which is exactly what I did. I got an epidural at 6cm and it took me almost three hours to push her out. I even ended with an episiotomy (at my midwives suggestion. She did say it was necessary as my daughter was stuck on a bone and wasn't turning her head the way she was supposed to.) I was dead set on making this birth a more positive experience and the only thing I regret was saying anything to the nursing staff and OB about drugs. The look on their faces when I said "epidural" was one of pure joy and "I knew she'd cave." I also know that they weren't happy with the sounds I was making. Obviously I was in a lot of pain and I needed to voice it. I'm sure someone said something about scaring other women, but I wasn't paying full attention.


(As a side note, I had numerous nurses and doctors (including my daughters pediatrician and the midwife who attended me afterward) comment on how they "heard about the mom who had a red headed baby, all naturally, in a triage room". It was entertaining to say the least.)

My blog can be linked to: www.mompluswife.blogspot.com.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot- More Humbling Moments

I don't know why this keeps happening to me, (though the people who know me probably understand it) but I am always getting taught a lesson by the universe.

1) I really thought you could keep a one year old quiet in Costco- then I had a one year old who had figured that screaming bloody murder would get her taken out of a room. Open mouth, insert foot.

2) I did not understand why somebody would quit breastfeeding until I struggled to nurse my first. Then I realized how lucky I was to have had the support I did to make it through that.

3) But I still never understood why anybody would wean before a year, until I had a baby go on a week long nursing strike at 8 months and literally SCREAM at me every time I tried to feed her. (Yes, the same one who screams in Costco). Meanwhile, she was very happy to take a bottle from daddy. Ouch.

4) I didn't understand why somebody would not vaccinate a child until I had a child who reacted to a vaccine.

5) Then I didn't understand why you would vaccinate a baby, until I had two children struggle to breathe and then cough horrendously for an entire summer with a case of whooping cough. All our choices have consequences. We just have to be ready to face them, no matter what they are.

6) I didn't understand why anybody would NOT co-sleep, then I had a husband who had to sleep on the couch for months so that he could get any sleep at all, while I got kicked in the head all night by a rolling toddler.

7) I thought crying it out was cruel and unusual, until I had gone for five years with hardly a night of solid sleep and survived with an average of six hours of broken sleep. Then I understood that sometimes mama needs some sleep so that she can be a nice mom during the day, instead of a raving lunatic.

8) I never understood why people would have kids closer than 2 years apart, until I accidentaly fell pregnant.

9) To boot, that surprise caused my wonderfully nursing one year old to suddenly wean. Guilt all around for mama- again- because I of course never understood why you would take a babies "baby" time away from them. Sometimes, life just happens. It ends up being beautiful despite all our best efforts to the contrary.

Here is to many more years of humbling moments. I must have lots to work on. I guess that is what one gets for having an opinion on everything!

No More Cat Fights

There seems to be constant tearing down of women within the natural childbirth community. Oddly, this assault does not always come from the outside, in fact, quite the opposite, it often comes from within.

You know what I am talking about right? The cat fight. The name calling. The "my way is better than your way". The, "Well I would NEVER do that because I educated myself on the subject" conversation. In junior high it might have involved hair pulling or slapping. Today it involves women behind their computer screens ripping each other apart because they do things differently.

I recently saw a friend and fellow natural childbirth teacher literally torn apart by not just other women, but by other women who even teach the same exact method of natural childbirth that she teaches. Why? Because she did something that they didn't do. I also saw a woman who was kind enough to share her beautiful birth story attacked personally for some of her choices regarding that birth.

I know what you are thinking. Yes, I do. You are thinking that you don't do that. Well, not unless you are SURE you are right.

Right?

Lets face it. We all have a hot button issue. Circumcision. Vaccines. C-sections. Freebirth. Home birth. Co-sleeping. Attachment parenting. Organic foods. Natural birth. Babywearing. Cloth diapering. Breastfeeding. We all have something that we really care deeply about in this community. We care so deeply about it that we sometimes inadvertently offend people who disagree or do differently. Or maybe we go a step further, and verbally attack somebody because they do something differently than us.

You know what is really sad about this to me? The sad part is that we are losing the battle. Yes, I said it. We are losing. C-section rates are at all time highs. Only about one percent of women are birthing at home. Most hospitals have epidural rates of AT LEAST 80%. Very few women are still breastfeeding at six months post-partum. What we are doing is not working.

We can blame this all on the MAN. We can blame it all on THE SYSTEM. You know the one, the one with all the money and the doctors and the fancy studies and scalpels. The system with the free formula and packaged food. They want us to lose, that is for sure. But right now, we are not even a threat. We could blame it all on THEM- but we are forgetting about one of our own worst enemies- US.

We are destroying ourselves from within. We, women who support natural birth and a natural lifestyle and the best for our bodies and our babies and our basic human and female rights are so busy attacking one another for the things that we disagree on that we forget about the things that we actually agree on.

I saw this a few months ago with a Mercola boycott. Dr Mercola is a medical doctor. He is a rare one though in that he is anti-vaccine, and pro-natural. Yes- a medical doctor who preaches AGAINST vaccines! It exists! I saw the article that people were so upset about. They claimed that Dr Mercola was going to make money off of formula. He did mention in the bottom of the article that he was working on a formula free of some of the toxins found in your run of the mill formulas. He mentioned this after a full page of the BENEFITS of breastfeeding, resources to improve breastfeeding (including a link to the La Leche League website) and the evils of the formulas out there.

I honestly don't think that this man is just trying to promote formula. I think he is trying to promote breastfeeding but realizes that there is a need for a decent formula on the market. I live in a very rural area. I have seen a home birth mother who had so many hurdles to breastfeeding that she eventually had to switch to formula. What happened to her? The nasty formula that she had found for her baby was recalled for a bug infestation. There are no milk banks here. There are no options like that for every woman in this country. They simply do not exist everywhere.

Yet what did we see because this man dared to mention providing a decent formula? Attacks from all sides- but all from within the natural community. Did I mention that this is an actual MD who is opposed to vaccines? This guy is on the same team as us. But as soon as he slipped up and did something we disapproved of, the war was on.

On a more personal level, you can see this daily on forums like Facebook or on personal blogs where women are attacked for daring to do something that they shouldn't. And- if it isn't bad enough to step out of the party line, you are really in for it if you dare do it and NOT FEEL GUILTY.

Well I am tired of it. I am tired of women who spend literally hundreds of free hours promoting natural childbirth and empowering women to be in charge of their births being attacked from their fellow teachers. I am tired of home birth moms being criticized by other home birth moms because somebody who doesn't even KNOW them thinks they did things wrong or unsafe or irresponsibly. I am tired of women being ashamed that they bottle feed and having to explain themselves and apologize for it.

We can keep doing that. We can keep saying that it is not OK to attack somebody, unless they are doing X Y or Z ("because those are really special issues to me..."). We can be nasty beneath the guise of whatever it is that is important to us. But we will continue to lose this fight.

We are not each others enemy. The enemy is those institutions that seek to destroy the beauty of birth and motherhood in order to make money. We must attack them and the best way to do it is to support each other.

We are mothers. Mothers love their children. They really do. Even mothers who bottle feed love their children. Yes, even mothers who circumcise love their children. Even mothers who hate co-sleeping love their children. Women who have let their children cry it out, still LOVE THEIR CHILDREN. They might do things differently than you. They might even be WRONG. But I can guarantee you that YOU are wrong sometimes too. And I can promise that we will not convince anybody they are wrong by comparing some of their mothering choices to rape or abuse. They will not listen to us if we talk that way. We will be tuned out and called crazy. We will be considered fringe and even mean. We will lose. And we will further divide mothers.

We have lot of things that are different about us. But I think we have a lot of things in common too. We have children. We love them. We try to do what is best for them. It might look wrong to others. It might even BE wrong. But that is something else we have in common. We are all WRONG sometimes. We will all make mistakes with our children. Every single one of us.

Too many of us are lonely. Motherhood can be very lonely business. I think that might be why so many of us find solace, support and friendship in online forums and blogs. I will admit that that is true for me. I need that outlet and that female support. It is very draining and upsetting when instead of being supportive that outlet turns into a a place where I am afraid to admit my failings because I know that I will be attacked for them.

Here is hoping for a brighter future for women where we can find a common ground. Where we can love people into being better mothers and women instead of arguing with them. Here is hoping that we can come together and fight for each other rather than against.

(On a side note- all apologies if I ever bashed on you for doing something I disagree with. Yes I realize I am a total hypocrite by daring to write this. It won't be the first time I was full of crap. Or the last.)

Beautiful Birth on a Budget

I see a lot of concern from mothers who can not afford some of life's basic things, much less luxuries but desperately want to be prepared for a natural birth in a birthing climate that is decidedly not natural friendly. First- this is totally possible. As a teacher, I do think it is great to take a class, but here are some ideas depending on what you can afford.

~Classes~

I of course am biased toward Bradley Method classes. They tend to run around $300 so if you can afford them, I think that a class might be your best investment. I also have to say that educating yourself AND your partner are incredibly important to your success. If money is tight, here are some options:

~Some teachers will let you make payments or will do classes for trade, or even do a shorter, less expensive, intensive class.

~Another option is finding a teacher who is new or provisional. In Bradley, newer teachers usually have a harder time finding students and charge less for the classes.

~READ like crazy. Many people take classes and do nothing else. They don't touch the reading list or practice at home. If you can't take a class you can buy or borrow books from the library. And- do the practice relaxation, exercises, and healthy eating recommended in the books. Here is a list of my favorites:

• Natural Birth The Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon Rosegg
• Husband Coached Childbirth by Dr Robert Bradley
• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
• The Birth Book by Dr Sears
• The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer
• Birthing From Within by Pam England
• The Baby Book by Dr Sears
• The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League International

~Birth stories are a fantastic resource too for the mama preparing and they are free. I think that is one of the reason why so many women claim that Ina May's books help them so much, because the wealth of different birth stories make women realize how all women labor differently and have a variety of experiences. This blog has a TON of fantastic positive birth stories- take advantage of them! (I know, that is my blog- hehe!)

~Doula~

Doulas are not for everybody, but they can be a fantastic resource and statistically, they lower medication rates. Doula fees range widely from one area to another. Some options might include:

~Trade or payments

~Finding a new or preparing doula- they have to do a number of free births (or maybe they only charge for gas or childcare.) Here is the website for Dona International, a doula certifying group.

~Just have a friend or family member who has birthed naturally and whom you trust support you in your birth. Part of the help is simple woman to woman knowledge and support and presence.

~For mamas who have a partner deployed in the military, there is a group, Operation Special Delivery, that offers doula support for those mamas. You can find them here.

~Home Birth~

If you want a home birth but have no insurance, you may still be able to find a support person.

~Some midwives do trade or reduced fees for cash payment.

~New midwives (apprentice) often charge less and still work with a experienced midwife.

~Free birth~ Some women feel like this is the best option for them. It does take lots of preparation before hand, knowledge, and faith. Cost is very minimal. Although I don't think finances alone is a good reason to choose unassisted/freebirth. It is also a big responsibility for the couple.

~Hospital Birth~

Home birth is not necessary for an un-medicated birth! Going to a hospital by choice or need does not FORCE you to have a bad experience. Here are some tips for making yours go as you would like.

~Be well prepared and knowledgeable.

~Make a birth plan, and then talk to your care provider about it. Then, switch care providers if they are not on board. It is not a magic weapon, but it is a tool that can help you find out where they stand and it can create a dialogue.

~Go to the hospital later rather than sooner (if you feel comfortable with that). And, if you arrive and you are not in hard labor or showing signs of hard labor, don't be afraid to go home and labor where you feel more comfortable.

~Be kind but firm. A hospital can be a foreign and intimidating place. Be strong anyway. I have heard of women birthing beautifully in very anti-natural hospitals. I heard a doula talk about a mom (first time) who had to deliver in a hospital like that. She walked in, late in labor. She wanted to squat her baby out. She got on the edge of the bed and just did it. They told her to lay down. She just said no and squatted her baby out. I am not advocating rudeness or yelling. But don't forget whose birth this is. It is not THEIRS. It is yours. You do not have to be steam rolled by the system. This can be easier said than done, as being in labor it can be hard to advocate for yourself. That is where an educated partner and a doula can really come in handy so that you are not afraid and alone.

~Even if you are limited by insurance as to hospitals and care providers, you can usually still switch to one that is more natural friendly. It can be very difficult to change or buck hospital policy. So, find out what the policy's are. A hospital that still has everybody on an IV and delivering on their back and separated from baby after birth may be harder to navigate than one that allows more freedoms.

-Some things to look for-
-No IV required- Intermittent monitoring- - Freedom of movement- -Birth position up to mother- -Laboring moms allowed to eat- -In room baby care- -Breastfeeding support- -No routine episiotomies- -C-section rates- -Lenient policy on post-dates-

~Birth Center~

In some states birth centers exist and can be covered by insurance or medicaid while home birth is not. A birth center can be a great option for somebody who wants an out of hospital birth but can not afford to pay a few thousand dollars cash for a home birth.

You can find lists of birth centers here.

~Be Hopeful and Prepared~

In the end the best preparation is probably your own education and health and staying low risk. How you handle your labor and approach the situation will also have a direct impact on how you are treated. A confident, firm and calm mother will be treated differently than one who is screaming for drugs or will not stand up for herself. (Not that there is anything wrong with screaming in labor, but if you ask for pain medication, they would love to help you with that.)

A natural birth is perfectly possible in any number of settings no matter your financial situation.

(On a side note, remember that teachers, doulas and midwives have many expenses associated with their professions. So, if they are giving you free or discounted classes or services they may be losing money or making nothing. Just out of politeness, be thankful and do what you can to budget it in. Look at the things that you can go without to make this happen but be realistic. I will be forever grateful that I took the time and money to pay for my first natural birth class.)

An Early Home Birth Baby-- Birth Story!

Welcome to another birth story Wednesday! I love how birth takes so many different forms, shapes, times and places.

You can read this mama's blog here!
Enjoy-

I can say that the birth, besides being very surprising (four weeks early), was an incredibly intense yet empowering experience. I think I was dilating the whole day before and didn't know it, and had lost my mucus plug, but again didn't think anything of the discharge (it wasn't bloody or smell bad so no fuss right?).

Around 4pm exactly two weeks ago I was watching a movie in the bedroom and I felt Oliver slide down in a strange way. A little pee came out (indeed it was urine not water breaking) and I couldn't stop - we called the midwife. She said take a warm bath and drink some Cranberry juice.

By the time Ron was back from the store getting juice, I was having bad period like cramps. We were totally scared, called the midwife again. The cramps were getting worse and worse and I couldn't escape them, all I wanted was a little break to get an emotional grip on this whole thing - I looked at Ron at one point and said, "I'm in labor". I needed to admit it.

We were in the living room, I was on hand and knees - moaning through contractions. Our midwife came in and indeed me being half naked and really into contractions - she was certain I was in labor. She said to us that "we're having a baby today! and all was well because I was a few days away from 36 weeks". I felt so relieved at that point, just to have someone else say it was okay, we were okay to birth at home.

My mom showed up shortly after, I had moved back into the bathroom on the floor (it was nice and warm) still on hands and knees. My first thought was "I need to get to the bedroom, I can't have this baby on the bathroom floor". We went into the bedroom - there I rode out a few more contractions with Ron and our midwife doing counter pressure. At that point our second midwife arrived and my sister (and baby Cora).

The contractions were intense and I had wished the birth ball was inflated (we only had half a birth kit together and I was waiting to blow up the ball until early Jan). I think I was in transition at this point - I can't recall getting to the bedroom and my thoughts were only, "I can't do this - it's too hard".

Suddenly, I felt the need to push - it wasn't a physical feeling exactly, I can only describe that emotionally my body was telling me to push. The midwife checked me (for the first time and oh my god! it hurt, hurt, hurt) I can't imagine having to be checked frequently throughout. I had a small lip left - she suggested I could push around it while she held it back - too painful. I rode out a few more contractions instead. Over the next hour or so - I pushed in various positions, lunging, hands and knees, on the birthing stool (shaped like a big toilet seat), leaning against Ron.

Pushing seemed to take forever, I found solace in watching my progress in a mirror (directing the mirror position while pushing - I was very aware of what was going on around me). My sister, mother, and Ron were doing a great job of telling me that I was doing well. I kept asking if this was all going smoothly - and that it was okay it was taking long. The midwives only said - your baby is the perfect size for you and it is taking as long as you need and that yes, it is all normal. Ollie's heart beat was great, despite being on the perineum for so long.

Pushing was by far the hardest thing I have ever done. It took all of my strength both physically and emotionally to get him out. The thing about pushing is, for the most part, you have control over how hard and long you push. I would only give on big push and then need a rest, finally the midwives said that they were thinking about a small cut - I screamed "no!" and shortly after I pushed little Oliver out.

I think it was just the motivation I needed to give full quality pushes - I didn't want to be cut - emotionally it would have been too hard for me to deal with. But the exact motivation I needed to push his head out. The body seemed to slide right out. Oliver was here - at 9:58 pm 6lbs 6oz. It took about 6 hours of active labor and two pushing. Not too bad.

And today, after two weeks of nursing a lethargic pre term baby, who is still developing his suckling ability, and one full day of dropper feeding and breast pumping (day 3 I believe). We've established a nice nursing routine and he is almost back up to his birth weight. It was been a wild, intense, and emotional experience, but I wouldn't have expected anything less from my son.


This comment was added following initial publication by me, the blogger, not the mother in the story:
(I have received some feedback from midwives and other birth professionals stating that a birth this early is not safely done at home and has risks associated with it. I am not advocating delivering at home prior to being full term. I do not personally know what is considered legal in different states or what is medically safe. As mothers we have a responsibility to carefully choose our care provider, pediatrician, birth place, and educate ourselves also. We also have a responsibility to learn what is safe, legal, and what our midwife is comfortable with.

I am glad that this was a positive birth for this mother and resulted in a healthy baby, as I am with ALL birth stories that I receive, no matter how the birth appears to others. Good luck in your journeys!)