Mama to Mama Wisdom- Turning the Breech Baby

Adapted from a recent Facebook thread-
Often mothers worry about having a breech baby. Though most will turn on their own, there are lots of other ideas for helping them on their way. Here are some from our mamas. This is of course not medical advice. (Though who is to say that womanly wisdom is any less valuable?)

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Webster Technique from a chiropractor!!! Swimming, acupuncture, ice on the babys head and warm where you want them to turn, talking to the bottom of your belly, inversions. But DEFINITELY chiropractor.
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spinningbabies.com
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Hypnobabies has a Turn Your Breech Baby CD/download that can really help!
http://www.hypnobabies.com/store/shop.php?pid=17&sid=4&cid=4&start=0
My little man was in a footling breach position right up until two weeks before he was born. I think the doctor saying "caesarian" within earshot scared him into moving hahahaha But, in saying that, I still used the old wives tale methods of getting down on the floor on all fours, bum in the air and head down on the floor every night for at least half an hour at a time, and cold wash cloths on my belly.
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Inversion with a flashlight leading from head to where you want it. My son followed the light. It took three days of coaxing. Sometimes I just layed down with the flashlight on my belly, sometimes inverted for a bit. but at 38 weeks, he finally flipped. :) well, it took about 24 hours total to get all the way around. He really responded to the light on my belly
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Put music on head phones down low on your stomach.
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My advice: Relax. Really.

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http://icpa4kids.com/about/webster_technique.htm
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All great recommendations so far! 31 weeks is prime time for success with Websters chiropractic turning technique and acupuncture with moxibustion. There's a great technique that many midwives and doulas use with a rebozo: http://birthingfo...rlife.com/rebozo.html

There are some great options in this article also:

http://www.suite101.com/content/turning-a-breech-baby-a7421

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Ask your baby to turn - also moxibustion.

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Webster certified Chiro (it's very GENTLE & non-invasive), crawling and swimming, head resting on hands w/bum higher than head (if you have a wide step your knees could be on w/head and forearms on step below this is ideal).

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All other suggestions above are also great but all of our mums have responded to the Chiro & exercises above w/in a few adjustments (including my niece who turned transverse w/in 12 hrs & head down after her 2nd adjustment 24hrs later).

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Well Adjusted Babies resource book has photos & descriptions of all exercises & technique as well as an abundance of other great info for any parents to be wanting to birth and raise their children in a wholistic wellness model. Ask your Chiro, many of us have the book in our own offices or go to http://welladjusted.me/au/wab-book.php & select your region to order online.

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The acupuncture, also known as moxibustion technique turned my posterior baby, it will work for breech. The Webster chiro and most of the other suggestions. Here is a website that I found SUPER helpful when I needed my baby to turn HTH. http://www.homebirth.org.uk/ofp.htm

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And if you want to deliver breech, find a good experienced practitioner in you area- sometimes there are good home birth midwives, sometimes hospital docs- but find somebody who is experienced

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A friend, and myself have birthed breeches w/ no attendants and no special training at all.

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Also, if baby doesn't turn, please wait for your body to go into labor, even if you have a c-section, so at least you know baby is ready to be earthside! ♥

Of course many babies are born just fine breech too! ;)

The Bad Midwife- Natural Birth's Dirty Little Secret

A few days ago I published a post about the curse of men entering the realm of childbirth. I maintain that the addition of men has greatly changed birth from a natural function to a pathology.

That being said, I think it is important to point out though I prefer and have always chosen midwifery care, choosing a midwife in and of itself does not guarantee you a perfect intervention free birth, or an attendant who is skilled or natural friendly.

I want to be very clear though first: Midwives tend to be much more open to natural birth and less likely to jump to unnecessary interventions than MOST Ob's. They tend to view birth as a natural process rather than an accident waiting to happen. I personally consider a medical doctor as somebody I would only see if I was high risk for some reason, whatever their gender.

But, because birth has for so long been within the realm of MEDICAL training, we see midwives who are also heavily influenced by this thinking, or who are so far the other direction that they may not be what you want.

The Dirty Secret-

Despite all of that, choosing a midwife is not any kind of guarantee.

There are midwives who are very medical, sometimes jokingly referred to as "med"wives.

There are midwives who lack basic skills necessary for resuscitation or other life saving needs.

There are midwives who are dishonest or unprofessional or disrespectful of women or the birthing process.

There are also great midwives who just might not be the best midwife for YOU.

Finding the Good One-

How do you make sure that your midwife is what a midwife should be?
There are a few ways to find out if somebody is what you are looking for.

~Get some good references from people who birthed how you would love to birth. Ask people about their birth stories. Then, listen to them. How did the midwife handle any problems? How was the mother treated? What interventions were used? Are you comfortable with them?

~Talk to the midwife. Find out what she is comfortable with. Some midwives LOVE to do VBAC's. Some don't feel comfortable with them. Don't try to change her. I wouldn't want a midwife who wasn't comfortable with me because that sets up a transfer or drop of care. I tend to have my babies later, so it is important to me to find out how long they are comfortable with me being pregnant. Some midwives MUST transfer care at 42 weeks. Some start suggesting induction at 40 or 41 weeks. Find out what they do. Just like you can't change hospital policy, you can't and shouldn't change what she is comfortable with, but you should know the score.

~Find out about laws in your state. Some states require an ultrasound at 42 weeks. Some require certain tests. Find out what your midwife is obligated to do in your state.

~Find out who she is accredited through or certified through. Some states allow lay midwives to practice. This can mean that somebody can really attend a few births and then call themselves a midwife. There is not necessarily anything wrong with that (and there is a whole debate on licensing midwives) but if that is fine with you, you might want to know what makes her an expert in her field. I have found midwives who are not certified to do neonatal resuscitation. Are you OK with the midwife at your birth not being able to do infant CPR?

~How experienced is she? How many births has she attended? In how many was she the primary midwife? There is nothing wrong with a newer or less experienced midwife, everybody needs to start somewhere. But that might be info you would like to know.

~Who does she work with? What are her back-up's qualifications? Almost all midwives work in pairs, one as the main, and one as support or back up. Sometimes a newer midwife will work with somebody who is her mentor and is much more experienced. They will both be at your birth though so you should like and know both of them.

~Where does she transfer and what does she transfer for? Does she have physician back up? I am in California where the law is written in such a way that home birth midwives don't have physician back up. I am fine with that. But you might have some questions regarding that and if you feel comfortable with her transfer doctor. And, should you transfer, does she stay with you for the birth? In some places where midwifery is illegal they don't stay with mom.

~Will she respect your birth wishes? Do you want her to be very hands on massaging and doula-ing you? Or would you rather have somebody who sits in the corner and only steps in if they are needed? Find out if her style meshes with yours.

~Listen to your instincts. When it comes down to it I have chosen midwives that I simply felt right about. One of these was a midwife I hear terrible things about. I felt so comfortable with her though, and I had a a great birth with few interventions. I choose another midwife that I wasn't sure about at first, but I had such a peaceful feeling about her attending my birth that I knew she was the right midwife for me. It was fabulous.

This might sound like a lot of work. It is. So is having a baby and being a parent. It is worth it to take the time to find the right person for you. You are only going to give birth to this baby once.

Good luck and joyful birthing!

Sexism, Men, and Stupid Obstetrics

I am routinely amazed by the ridiculous things done in obstetrics. So much of what is practiced is obviously not natural or normal, and yet has been normalized by years and years of use. Some examples:

Vaginal Exams
Continuous Fetal Monitoring
Labor and Birth in the Supine Position
Medication For Labor and Birth
Routine Immediate Cord Clamping
The Overused C-Section

These are just a few things that upon even gentle examination make no sense, harm the birth experience, and ultimately harm the mother and baby.

We are starting to see some progress in obstetrics as research shows just how STUPID so many of the above things are. They are not supported by better outcomes or better experiences. And yet research backed by the almighty dollar seems to be the only thing that can change ridiculous practices that never should have started in the first place.

Why the prevalence of STUPID obstetrics?

The answer is simple- MEN.

When women give birth with other women, particularly generations of women who have given birth themselves and have seen many other women give birth, they are led by instinct and fact based wisdom of what works. They birth in positions that they FEEL like giving birth in. They listen to baby or simply FEEL it move. They would not think of cutting the private parts of one of their own sisters. They know she can do it because they have done it themselves. There is nothing more natural and sacred, and there is nothing scary about it.

When birth became the subject matter of men, everything changed.

A man literally has NO IDEA that it is uncomfortable to lie on your back when full term with an eight pound baby. He of course has never even been pregnant. He might believe it- if you can prove it.

He has no idea that a vaginal exam is humiliating, uncomfortable and tells you nothing about the time of birth. He looks at the female body as a mysterious machine, that can and should work in a predictable manner.

When he sees a woman moaning and moving in labor, he is in awe of her power. But awe turns to fear and doubt because he does not understand how these primal rituals can influence something that seems to be only a physical process that should be kept as controlled as possible. He also thinks her noises mean she is in pain, when they are in fact a way to deal with the overwhelming sensations of birth.

When he sees the miracle of the baby emerging from the "tiny" vagina, he thinks- "That must hurt, I can help her by numbing her or making the opening larger." He doesn't know that the moment of birth is more climactic than painful. He doesn't know that her body is meant to do this. He doesn't know that that "tiny hole" can both make love and birth babies with equal skill. It looks incomprehensible, and because he has never done it, it is incomprehensible to him.

Forcing the woman to be conveniently still and medicated to the gills on her back of course increase the "need" for instrumental and surgical delivery. He sees the female body as flawed and failing rather than powerful and amazing. After all, the woman probably needs and even wants to be "saved" from pushing that huge thing out of that tiny hole. The c-section is more and more necessary the less we understand the female body and her abilities.

When the baby is finally ripped from the malfunctioning body of it's mother, it is important to cut the ties that bind and pass the baby to another penis yielding expert who can handle things. The cord is cut, the baby is passed. Does it need anything more from that placenta and that mother? Of course not! Missed is the miracle of the placenta, the need for the precious cord blood, and the common sense of thousands of years of evolution and divine design. The wisdom of ages is replaced with cold hands and steel instruments.

We should not have to "prove" what is obvious. The female body is made to give birth. This is the RULE. The exception are the rare cases where something else is needed. With modern health and sanitation, the exception (the woman who can't give birth without help) is even more rare than ever. And yet, we seem to be surrounded by women who "needed" intervention, now more than ever before.

The sad fact is that the introduction of men to the art of birth has changed it, probably forever. It introduced so many foreign, silly, and yes, STUPID practices that never would have been there had birth stayed within the realm of wise women, intuition, and sisterhood.

I want to close with a quote from Ina May Gaskin, found in the movie, Orgasmic Birth (my emphasis added).

"The United States has a peculiar history about childbirth. There is a higher level of fear of birth in this country than we see in so many cultures around the world. I think it has to do with our own peculiar history of absolutely destroying the profession of midwifery in the early twentieth century. When you destroy midwives, you also destroy a body of knowledge that is shared by women, that can’t be put together by a bunch of surgeons or a bunch of male obstetricians, because physiologically, birth doesn’t happen the same way around surgeons, medically trained doctors, as it does around sympathetic women."

Give birth on your terms with others who believe in birth. We have moved so far from this sisterly knowledge that now even female midwives and practitioners sometimes doubt the power of the female. Surround yourself with people who trust birth.

Birth Story- VBAC!

We shared another birth story from this same mama a few weeks ago. There is something wonderful about a VBAC, especially a 10 pound one! Enjoy- and recognize your bodies amazing ability to birth babies. Happy reading!


This is the story of my VBAC#2 with my third son. I had a successful unmedicated VBAC 2 years ago and when I fell pregnant at the start of the year there was no question that I would do it again.

I was 'due' Friday 15th Oct and it came and went, while I know they are a complete estimate I still had it circled on my calendar and was counting down the days, I was so big and tired and uncomfortable. My mum came to pick up my boys for the weekend so I could get some rest as it was going to happen soon.
I woke up on Sunday morning at 7.30 and rolled over and my waters broke! I was so excited!

My husband and I went to the hospital for a check as this was a VBAC and the midwives wanted to see me, just to make sure all is ok.
Almost straight away I started to have irregular contractions that didn't hurt, but I knew it was starting to happen. I spent all of Saturday in bed, I was so tired and i am so glad i got this rest! Nothing happened over night, I continued to leak and continued to have irregular contractions.

Monday morning we went back to hospital for another check as it had been 24 hrs since waters had broken, the midwives weren't concerned at all and said they wouldn't worry about it till they had been broken for more than 96 hours. Back home (hospital is very close to us) and back to bed, I slept for a few hours and contractions stopped. When I woke up at lunchtime and sat up in bed I had an almighty contraction and knew that things were really one their way now!!!

By 4.30pm we went to hospital, I manged the contractions at home by breathing, pacing and "oohing and aahing" (my husband said that's how he knew this was it, when the sounds started!!) Contractions were about 3 - 4mins apart and i was ushered into a nice big birth room where I could pace all I wanted!!!

For the next few hours I breathed and paced, chatted in between with my husband and the midwives, who very respectfully stopped talking while I was contracting. The room was dim and peaceful and going well. Not an OB to be seen :)
By the time I wanted to push the midwife did an examination and found that I was 5 - 6 cms dilated but very very soft. I immediately thought 'Oh great, this isn't happening as fast as my last birth", but the midwife said " what do you feel like doing?", I said "I want to push" and she said "you do whatever your body is telling you to do"
I pushed and 27 mins later at 11.47pm my beautiful BIG 10lb 6oz & 58cm long son came into the world. No drugs, no interference (small episiotomy as he was very big!)

He breastfed straight away and stayed with me from then on. We had hours of skin to skin and I was home in 36 hours :)

My last VBAC was wonderful and I never thought I could top that feeling, but this one has healed my soul. There were no doctors, the word "caeser' was never mentioned, or "ohh thats a big baby for her small body" I loved every second of it.

I am done having kids, my family of boys is complete and I am so glad that was strong enough to do this and experience birth purely for what it is.

Birth Story- Short, Sweet, Perfect

I love this birth story. It is short but beautiful. Enjoy!


Ella Sabine enters the world

After a beautiful 40 weeks Ella decided it was time to arrive. It was December 21st 2008 and of course it was one of the coldest days of the year. My contractions started at about 5 pm so I called my midwife to see what to do. Ella was my first so I ran to my midwife for everything. She said just relax and eat something and call me when they get closer or when you feel like you need me. At about 10 pm my water broke and I quickly called my midwife again. She said we could meet at the birth center if I felt like coming now or I could wait awhile. I felt like I needed her so we headed to the center. It was only a couple miles away, we put the towel down on the seat and away we went.

We arrived at the beautiful birth center and my husband and I crawled into the queen size bed in front of the fireplace. This birth center is like no others I have seen, I felt like I was at a spa. My husband told me hiking stories during contractions to keep my mind somewhere else, it worked wonders. At about 1 am I decided I needed to be in the whirlpool. My husband and I climbed in. I started to feel some back labor so my midwife pressed on my lower back and completely took that pain away. To this day I think she had magic hands.

I started to feel the urge to push so I did but looking back I should have just relaxed for a while and let the contractions do the work. I pushed for quite some time. Ella finally emerged into the water at about 6 am on December 22nd, 2008. My husband and midwife helped her onto my chest. She snuggled in and my husband said, "well, what's the gender?", I didn't even think to look until he said something. I opened her legs and yelled, "it's a girl".

My midwife let me hold Ella as long as I wanted before doing the full exam, I still think that was the most important bonding time. I was ready to go home just a couple hours after she was born. I could feel the "high" of natural child birth for days after her birth. Ella nursed well the first day and she slept on my chest for at least the first month, and next to me in bed ever since. She is now 21 months and a healthy, happy, loving little girl.

For the Record-

I was telling my husband the other day how happy I was for him that he enjoys his job now (he is finally working for himself as a Chiropractor, a lifelong dream) and his response took me back.

He said, "I wish you enjoyed doing what you have to do for a living."

Stunned.

Maybe with all my sarcastic remarks, jokes about poop, and mom loneliness, I have given the appearance that I don't love my job.

I just want to state, publicly and for the record, that I LOVE my job. I love my kids. I love my life. I love that I am MOM first and foremost. There is nothing else I would rather be doing right now than raising my babies and getting to be the person every day who takes care of them and yes, cleans up their messes.

I love too that I get to, on the side, educate moms about birth and breastfeeding and the wonder and miracle that is the female body. I love to write about it. I love to talk to and meet other moms. All of my outside of the home passion revolves around my kids. I would not do any of that if it were not for the way that the birth of my first child changed me forever.

I will admit that it is the hardest job that I have ever done. I never feel good enough, I always know I can do more and be better. But, as with anything in life, the things that are the hardest have the biggest rewards and the most meaning.

That's all folks. I just want you to know that I love being a mom. I love it. I want every woman who gets the chance to raise a spirit child to love it too. That is what my outside of mom work is all about.

Peace and love on your journey through motherhood.

Visualizing Birth- Birth Story

This is a beautiful first time mom giving birth in a hospital. I love how she illustrates how helpful visualization can be in labor, and how quick and painless labor can be. I also love a good hospital birth because I have so many students who want one but think it is impossible. It can be done ladies! You just have to be dedicated and knowledgeable.

Enjoy!

Birth Story

My guess date was supposed to be June 2nd, but instead of a baby I had a prenatal appointment. At that time the midwife (Titi) asked me if I wanted her to sweep my membranes. I did not go to that appointment prepared to answer that question, so I just went along with it. I figured if she suggested it, then it's probably okay to do. [I'm not doing that again.] By the time I made it to my car I felt premenstrual-like cramping. I called Robbie just to let him know what happened and that I was feeling premenstrual.

Around 3:30pm on June 3rd I noticed something that HAD to be bloody show. I wasn't sure that's what it was at the time, though hindsight being what it is, how could I have NOT known that's what it was? Robbie got home around 4pm and I told him about it. He was so excited! I was still feeling crampy from the day before, so around 4:30 I decided I felt like taking a long shower. We were supposed to go to a church function that night, but I just felt like taking time in the shower before we left. I asked him to check on me every 30 minutes just to make sure I didn't fall asleep in the shower or something. I was planning on taking a VERY long shower.

Time went by pretty quickly in the shower, and I stayed in there until 6pm. When I got out to get ready to go, I thought, "I'll just lay down on the bed for a minute." Well, apparently Robbie fell asleep too! He came and woke me up at 7pm. Well, we knew that we weren't going to make it to the church function, but I still wanted to go to Sonic! I was starving! And I wanted one of their Strawberry Limeade drinks. When I stood up to go to the bathroom, something leaked out of me. I told Robbie, "Something just leaked out of me and I don't think it was pee!" We weren't really sure what was going on so we started making a bunch of phone calls.

At around 7:30pm on June 3rd my membranes ruptured, though I did not know it at the time that's what it was. I wasn't having contractions as far as I could tell, so I called the midwife (Debbie) to see if that's what it was. She told me a few things to do, and eventually she just said to come to the hospital to get checked out. We made it to the hospital around 9pm. The drive there was really calm and peaceful because I wasn't feeling any pain and I still didn't think the baby was really coming. I was kind of excited though. When we got there they took me to a triage area, hooked me up to some monitors and used some sort of paper to see if my membranes had ruptured. They had!

The nurse checked me (I think next time I'll ask them not to do that) I was still at 3cm. After awhile the nurse told me I was having contractions and they were coming 3-4 minutes apart. I still wasn't feeling them. Robbie left to make some phone calls and I started to feel my contractions when he was gone. This was probably a little after 10pm. [It seemed that things took off really quickly after this.]

It was funny because I was watching a Family Guy episode where Peter delivers a baby. :o) By the time he got back I wasn't having fun anymore. I actually started gagging during my contractions, and I had not started any kind of coping mechanisms. [It was a good idea that we never had a chance to go to Sonic, because I probably would have lost my dinner at that point.]

I remember at some point the nurse brought a birthing ball in there, but I just didn't feel like getting out of the bed yet. I was waiting for them to get my room prepped which seemed to take forever. Debbie came in there and talked to me for a little while. I felt kind of guilty and rude because it was very difficult to talk. I suppose she's used to women getting like that! There were a couple of other mothers she was attending at the same time. Because I was a first timer, they thought I would take a long time. Several times I was completely alone in there, but I wasn't worried, until I started to feel my waves!

Until then I had been watching the monitor and marveling at the fact that I could not feel what the monitor was showing. Robbie came back at some point and helped me start using low deep sounds. Finally my room was ready and by then it was difficult for me to walk. I'm glad I decided to get wheeled to the room rather than walk; the breeze felt really good. When I got there I really did not want to have to get out of the chair, but somehow I made it to the bed.

When I got there, I had a contraction and blew chunks all over myself! Poor Robbie, I almost got him in the face. They began filling up the tub for me. At some point Debbie came back (she had several ladies to tend to). I remember I was just standing there for some reason, and I started having a contraction and she just ran to me and hugged me through the contraction. It took a little while to make it to the tub. I had to lean over the bathroom sink and rock my hips through a wave while Debbie rubbed on my back. I finally made it to the tub and spent the rest of labor in there.

Oh boy what a relief! All I remember is that contractions never seemed to completely go away, and Robbie really helped me remember my low sounds. I tried to visualize each wave as an ocean wave entering a cave and going back out again, as if it was pulling the baby out of me. That was my favorite idea out of all the stories I read, and I tried to use it. I also tried to take each wave one at a time. Debbie (midwife) turned off the lights in there and kept telling what to relax-usually my shoulders. I don't remember what made her decide to get me out of the tub, but I got out. [I remember thinking right before they helped me out of the tub that I didn't know how much longer I could handle it, and I definitely understood why women would want relief. I also remember thinking that I wasn't getting any breaks between rushes. I'm not sure if I said these things out loud. Robbie told me I didn't talk during labor. I think the only thing I said was, "Oh sh*t!" when Debbie told me it was time to start pushing. Robbie said that was comic relief!]

When she checked me (this was the first and only time she did that) I was at 9.5 cm. I was so surprised and really happy! They got me in the bed, and Debbie got me to do little pushes to get completely to 10cm. I think she left the room for a little while and when she came back she said it was time to push. Whoa! Already? Really?

[This is the part where I said, "Oh sh*t!" because I don't think I was emotionally ready. I got ready quickly because I thought, "I don't care what happens! I don't care how much it hurts, I'm going to get this baby out! I'm not going to hold back because that will only slow things down. And if I poop on myself oh well!" Yes, I thought all of that, and then got to work. Once I got those thoughts out of the way, I was able to completely focus on the task at hand]

I don't remember how long the pushing stage lasted but Robbie said it lasted about 30 minutes. I remember being scared of crowning before but it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Debbie REALLY did a lot to help me do a good job pushing. [After reading many birth stories since then, she was probably protecting my perineum-another reason why crowning may not have been as bad as I thought it would be.]

And then, all of a sudden, she was out! They immediately put her on my chest and left her there for the rest of everything. [They helped me latch her on, and I was able to breast feed before they did anything to her. Robbie says the first thing I said to her was, "Hey little thing!" He says that's the sweetest thing he's ever heard and he'll never forget it.]

I did NOT like when they massaged my uterus after. So Lilian Nicole was born at 2:41am on June 4, 2010. She weighed 8 lbs 3 oz and was 20 inches long. I'm completely in love with my little baby and so impressed with the work my body was able to do! I can't believe I achieved an unmedicated birth, but I am so thankful that I was able to do it. What makes me really happy is how much Robbie is happy with the care I received from the midwives. He didn't trust them at first, but now he really does!

Barely an hour old.

Proud Papa

Going home!

Home in the Rock 'N Play Sleeper

Things I Have In Common With the Homeless

Sometimes as a mother of young children I feel the group of people I have the most in common with is not other women my age, or people who vote like me, but rather, the homeless.
(Please don't take this the wrong way- I am not making fun of the homeless, but of myself.)

~Sometimes I fall asleep in very public places where most people DO NOT sleep. I am just so tired!

~I almost always have bodily fluids on my clothes. They are not necessarily mine. I am used to it and it doesn't even bother me any more.

~Most of my clothing doesn't quite fit because I didn't buy it- everything is hand me down. (The joys of children and graduate school combined.)

~I have on more than one occasion been awakened for sleeping in my car in a public parking lot. (Note to others- if a woman is IN the car with her children, nobody is screaming and the windows are open, please, just let her have a nap for goodness sake. Even if it is just outside of the Joann's Fabric.)

~People stare at me with looks akin to fright and/or pity when I walk into a grocery store with the children in tow. Seriously, there is only three of them. We are fine.

~I push a stroller loaded with food, dirty clothes, and what is apparently garbage all over town. There are also children with me and they eat a lot, dirty their clothes, and I don't want to leave the garbage at the park. I am actually just trying to be a conscientious citizen. Plus, I want to stay in shape.

~I will admit that me and/or my children have on occasion been known to urinate in a public park. Seriously, why do they have bathrooms if they are always locked?

~Yes that was me with a bag on the side of the road loading up on walnuts that feel out of a tree. I will have you know that walnuts are healthy, organic, and very expensive to buy! Plus, picking them with the kids teaches them self reliance and thrift.

~I may appear to talk to myself when nobody is there and I sway side to side when I should in fact be still. I am not actually technically insane. I have a lot on my mind, thus the talking. In addition, I have been holding or rocking or nursing a baby constantly for the last six years. I can no longer sit still. Maybe someday that will wear off. But not yet.

~Sometimes I appear to yell at people randomly at the park. Again, I am not going crazy. But if teenagers think that they can drop the F-word around my three year old little girl and get away with it, they have got another thing coming. I am a mom and ten teenagers do not scare me, so watch your language!

~I do things outside of a hospital that seem like they should be done in a hospital. It is not because I don't have insurance. It is because home birth rocks.

~I am a little bit counter culture. I don't do things the way everybody else does. I don't believe all the experts and I don't always try to fit into the mold of what a person should be. People respond sometimes with fear, sometimes with hatred, and sometimes with a little awe. Either way, I'm good.

A Dangerous Bowel Movement

"It's not nice to fool Mother Nature." Dr Bradley

Scene 1

A man walks into a hospital.

He normally has a bowel movement on Monday. It is Wednesday. Something must be done.

Attendants quickly surround him in preparation to remove the bowel movement that stayed too long.

The man is instructed to lay down so that special drugs can be give that will "get things started". The administration of these procedures and drugs is painful and humiliating. It involves other people unknown to him touching and seeing parts of his body which he normally keeps private.

Sadly the drugs do not appear to work.

The man does eventually feel the "urge" to use the bathroom and attempts to stand.

"NO!" shout the attendants. "You can not get up or use the bathroom! We would not be able to monitor the progress of your bowel movement! Nor would we be able to help it come out should it be the proper time!"

The man is instructed to lay down on his back. He actually raises his feet in the air in stirrup's so that the attendants can see what is going on.

He is thirsty. He asks for water. An IV is given.

The man is numbed because he is in a lot of pain from all the procedures, the BM and the pressure.

Eventually he feels an urge to push. But the drugs have made his pushing ineffective. The attendants inform him that it needs to come out- NOW!

They use tools to help speed the process.

All involved are grateful when it is all over. The man is grateful that he was in a hospital with all the associated technology so that there were others there to help him with the process. Things could have been pretty dangerous otherwise.

Scene 2

A man needs to go to the bathroom.

He stays home. He goes when he feels the urge. He eats well, moves, and is in a place comfortable to him. The experience is pleasant, quick, and relatively easy.

Military Mom- Birth Without Dad

This is a beautiful birth story and I am especially excited to share it because there are so many mothers out there with dad gone in the military. My dad was actually at sea when I was born. Mom can still have a fantastic birth and be supported by wonderful people who love her, even without dad there.

Enjoy!

Written July 14, 2010.""I remember that day like it was yesterday. and ACTUALLY. today was the day I WENT into labor.

I woke up around 1am after Michael started crying in his sleep. I put him in my bed and I got him back to sleep. (Eddie was not here for his birth, so that's why I wont be mentioning him.. he was in Germany).
My mom, brother came down from Colorado and my sister and her two kids (plus her niece) came up from Houston. I was a week late so we were all waiting for this day!
I went and woke my mom up and told her what was going on. These contractions were about an 8 or 9 on the pain scale from the moment they started. It was NOT fun :/ NOTHING like Michael's birth.

And they lasted all.day.long. they never really progressed in pain, it was always an 8 or 9, but they were sharp and painful (he wasn't positioned right and that's what made them so hard)

I stuck it out until 6 and then I called my doula/ best friend Katie who lived a couple apartment buildings down from me. we drove to my hospital which was 45minutes away. When we get there they didn't even have a room for me so they stuck me in a recovery room. Not very pleasant. The nurse checked me and i wasn't even 1cm dilated. I thought "this CANT be right!!", but whatever, so we left and went back to my house b/c i WASN'T going to stay in a horrible recovery room that was all dark and gloomy until i had the baby.

Well, since my Dr, who was 45mins away, didn't have a room available when I went in the first time, that made me furious (don't mess with a woman in labor :P) and decided that since having a baby was an emergency, I would just go to the NICE hospital right now the road from my house.

My bestie/ amazing doula Katie drove us there. When we got there, we went to the ER and right away the nicest nurse EVER (her name was Molly) wheeled me up to L&D.
They hooked me up to the IV (I had Group B Strep so I HAD to be.. or so i was informed) but after they hooked me up they let me get in the tub and relax.... and I sure did. I dozed off for a little while and then climbed back in the bed. I was SO worn out, as much as I DIDN'T want drugs, I asked for sta-dol, because I was so worn out from the HARD contractions I needed to get some zzz's if i wanted to get this baby out. She gave me a little and that helped tremendously with the zzz's.. While I was dozing, the best doula in the world was at the end of my bed rubbing my feet. I don't think I could have been more relaxed.

Of course the Sta-dol wore off (which i was perfectly fine with since i really didn't want drugs) and when it did, i was awake again. I don't remember the time, but that's not important. (this all took place from between 8ish pm and 12:17am)

They say that laying on your back is the most uncomfortable position when in labor but that was the ONLY position that made me feel comfortable. Laying on my side made the pain worse. I think it was then that they realized he wasn't in the right position. Turns out he was posterior (right or left.. I forgot which) but it wasn't good. That was why my contractions were SO bad. One of the nurses tried to turn him but as she tried she broke my water. They couldn't get him to turn but that didn't matter. He was coming.

The Dr hadn't arrived yet, when he finally came in he said he liked to stay out as long as possible when a woman doesn't want drugs (I don't know what THAT has to do with anything but whatever.)

I was getting really really uncomfortable and then i realized that he WAS coming. I told the nurses that I needed to push and what did they say?!? They said "oh don't push yet, the Dr isn't here yet." Oh I'm sorry... I'm the one with a CHILD coming out of me... I THINK i will push when I am good and ready. (no i didn't say that but that's what i was thinking). That's when my doula leaned over and whispered in my ear. "If you need to push, push. All they have to do is catch him."

Well, the Dr FINALLY came in (after the baby eased his way down the birth canal by himself (or as my body did w/o any issue). 8 minutes later, He made his grand arrival Jaden Charles Ray, born a week late :P.

Talk about a close call for the Dr. ha ha.
And talk about not having to push! My body did all the work. It was amazing. I didn't experience that with Michael. The Dr did the stupid counting thing and I pushed when I was told (I was young and uneducated .. hahaha).

As soon as I saw Jaden for the first time, I seriously lost it. I started bawling like a baby. And I have NO idea where it came from either... But deep down I know it was because Eddie wasn't by my side. :(
The first thing I said about him was :" He's got hair!" Michael was completely bald until he was 18mths old :P Jaden had that little man strip of hair on back of his head :P and it was brown. He had long tiny fingers, so different than Michael's who were stubby and fat :P

He weighed 7lbs 11oz and 21" long He was born Sunday July 15, 2007 at 12:17am. Barely a Sunday Baby but a Sunday baby, just like his brother. Hopefully my other children will follow suit :P hahaha




I hope you enjoyed the story, It brings back so many happy and joyous feelings as I wrote this. It was truly an amazing birth, I couldn't have done it without the good Lord watching over me and my best friend ever, Katie, who stood by my side through the LOOOONG 24hr labor and even afterwards.

I am thankful that my mom was able to come down and take care of Michael while i was in the hospital and i am so thankful for all my wonderful friends who helped me out after I had him. I am SO blessed to have such a great family in Christ who truly knows the meaning of brotherly love and being hospitable!!

Natural Birth- Where Are You?

I show a video in my classes that only consists of squatting births. It is an old but powerful video, in part because you can see NO care providers at the births. Each woman gives birth with nobody assisting or touching her body. She simply squats and the baby drops out softly onto some towels below her. (They are all hospital births so the care provider is there, just in the back round).

What is amazing, and really shocking, about these videos is that they show that the act of birth usually needs nobody but the mother and the baby. You can see the baby twist and turn to exit the birth canal. Baby twists his head, baby turns his shoulders, one at a time, and the baby comes out. Mother pushes. Her body is prepared. She is giving birth NATURALLY.

Does natural birth happen in this country?

It probably depends what you consider "natural." I did a post the other day about "natural c-sections." I have heard moms say their doctor asked them if they wanted a "c-section or a natural birth."

Ummmm- I hate to break it to everybody but having a baby vaginally does not mean you had a baby naturally. In fact, I would go so far as to say that having a baby without pain medications does not mean you had a baby naturally.

I know, I just made myself sound like a heartless witch. Here is the truth- I have had three babies. All were born with midwives. Two were born outside of the hospital. Only one was born without head traction (pulling on the baby to help it deliver). Only one was born without medication for hemorrhage postpartum (I did hemorrhage with one of them, not with the other.) Only one was in my arms for two hours before anybody else touched her. Only once was the cord NOT cut until the placenta delivered.

It looks to me that we have moved so far from natural birth in this country that we don't even remember what it looks like.

We can have a woman induced, strapped to monitors, giving birth in a supine position, and we call it "natural" because she didn't have an epidural. This is ludicrous. It is also an unnecessary cruelty to women, babies and their families.

I had a good friend once who had been a nurse. She believed in natural birth. She thought it was better. Then she had two natural births. Both involved her pushing on her back. Both involved massive tearing. Both involved painful repairs. Guess what, she had epidurals for her other children, in part, because it made repairs that much less painful. She liked the idea of a natural birth, but in practice, it was incredibly painful in the hospital setting.

I love natural birth and love hearing how women preferred their natural births to their medicated births. It really makes me sad when I talk to women who preferred their medicated births. In fact, I almost want to tell them not to say anything to anybody because I am trying to change the way people think about birth.

But the sad truth is, a real natural birth is pretty difficult to come by these days in America. One of the reasons some women prefer their medicated births is because even if they do manage to have an unmedicated birth, it is pretty darn hard to avoid all the other invasive things that are not even considered unnatural, and yet are totally contrary to the normal birthing process.

It is not natural to be surrounded by strangers when you give birth.

It is not natural to have your babies head tugged on as it delivers. (Babies can and will turn and move to exit the birth canal.)

It is not natural to have drugs in labor to speed the process.

It is not natural to have somebody's HAND in your VAGINA while you are trying to relax through contractions or do pretty much anything else.

It is not natural to cut the cord immediately or even within five minutes.

It is not natural for the baby to be weighed on a steel machine.

It is not natural to poke and prod and clean this precious infant for an hour after it is born.

It is not natural to stick plastic tubes up a babies nose when it is born.

It is not natural to be told what position is best to deliver in. A fearless, unmedicated, unhindered mother should KNOW how she should deliver her baby.

In short, we do many things to laboring women that are nowhere near natural, only one of which is, of course, sticking needle in her spinal cord.

Don't get me wrong- I am not saying that women should think less of their birth experience if they did not have one that was as pure as it would be in the woods. I LOVED the births of ALL of my children. Every single one of them was an incredible empowering experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. (I think too many of us focus on the negative things that happen sometimes in birth as with life. But that is another story.)

What is particularly disturbing to me about modern obstetrics though is how we do not even realize what we are doing anymore. We don't realize that it might just HARM the birth process to do some of these things to a laboring woman and her baby. It might slow labor and make it more painful simply to have an unwanted stranger there. It might alter the mother's hormonal state to simply be asked to spread her legs and have an intern check her vaginal "progress" intermittently. It might change the experience greatly when a drug is given to make things happen quicker.

We must take birth back. We must remember first what it was meant to be before we can even do this. We must rediscover NATURAL BIRTH, and then get it. Fight the power ladies. Nobody is going to take this fight up for you.

Choosing Motherhood

I recently received the following e-mail and question from a friend who is looking for honest advice on the choice to become a mother. The question really struck me and actually kept me up most of the night thinking about it.

"I am 31. I am in a loving marriage. I have full confidence that if my guy and I were to have a baby and start a family that we would be the best parents we could be. BUT... I just don't know if I want kids.

Part of me does, so much! I see families and children and I feel ready. I love my friend's baby. I love my husband and I would love to make us into parents. I can picture my unborn children.

But, there's a part of me that doesn't want the hassle- for lots of reasons. There are a lot of people on this earth. There are problems, big problems. There are things I want to do and crazy dreams I want to act on still. Dreams that truly don't work with families and responsibility. all these things take away that "ready" feeling.

My question: Do these thoughts mean that I am not ready? If they don't go away, does that mean I'll never be ready to be a mom? Or are these common thoughts? (ie: cold feet before the wedding).

...but what would you say to someone like me? Someone who would be a good mom and love their babies too, but is still on the fence on having them at all... ? Did you all know that you wanted to be moms??"

This post is different in that it is my thoughts on a question asked specifically to me (and the Mama Birth facebook community). Some of my answers and explanations people will disagree with, for which I apologize. But, I was asked for an honest answer, so here it is.

Honestly, I don't think people should have kids if they don't want them. Children deserve parents who will cherish them and who are willing to sacrifice for them. That being said, I wouldn't exactly call any of my children "planned" nor did I really consider motherhood on this deep of a level. It seems like I just had done a few of the "things" I wanted to do before I had kids, I had reached an appropriate age, and then it happened. So the fact that you are even thinking about this in such a deep way shows that you are thoughtful and aware of the needs of others and want to meet them.

The Hassle-

There are still many non-kid friendly things that I would love to do with my life. One of the biggest struggles for me (and I think for many) as a mom is putting those things off so that I can be the mother that I feel I need to be and that I think my kids deserve.

I know that I want to be a "stay at home mom." My mom was and it just seemed right. I knew I would breastfeed and would want to be attached and with my babies. I actually thought I would go back to working nights when I had my first, but it seemed so impossible once he was here.

He required so much attention and seemed to need so much that only I could give him. I am sure I could have found people to be surrogate mothers for me while I was away, but once he was born, I did not want anybody else to be that mother figure for him, even for a few hours a day.

As poor college students I watched other people's kids so that I could stay home with mine. It always made me sad. Mostly because I realized that I did not love their children as much as I loved my own or as much as their parents loved them. It was harder to care for and be patient with little personalities that I did not understand, who I had not raised, and for whom I had only a babysitters affection.

I guess my point is that you need to determine what kind of mother you want to be and if you are willing to sacrifice what you need to in order to be that kind of mother. If for whatever reason you KNOW that your career will always be first in your life, then maybe kids are not right for you. We don't HAVE to have kids just because we are old enough and that is what people "do."

The Sacrifice

Giving up our own dreams and ambitions is possibly the hardest thing about motherhood. There are places I would love to travel, jobs I would love to have, and degrees I would love to earn that I will not do while I have young children. I could of course do those things if money were abundant, but I don't feel like it would be fair to the children who I brought into the world.

One thing I remind myself is that some of those sacrifices (travel, fun, career) are only temporary. "Just because you have not done it by the time you are 30 does not mean you will never do it," is something I remind myself often.

Someday I will go those places and do those things. I will be older, maybe wiser, and I will hopefully appreciate them more.

One thing I have noticed too though is that my dreams and ambitions changed once I had children. I always wanted to write a book (don't laugh please). Now that I am mother I have a passion within me about certain subjects (maybe you can guess what they are) that I never really thought about before the birth's of my children. I had dreams before kids, but now they are more concrete, more real, and more focused. Before children they were vague and for some reason I had a hard time accomplishing them.

Now, if I care enough about those things, I make them happen. I stay up late. I am more willing to do the things I need to do to get the job done and change the world in the way I think it needs to be changed.

So my point- you don't burst into flames if you haven't accomplished everything you wanted to by the time you turn 30, 35 or 40, and some of those dreams seem so inconsequential after children. At the same time your children will make you care more than you ever thought you could about other things. Your children may become the inspiration for ambitions much greater than the ones you imagine now.

The Big, Bad, Overpopulated World-

I had a teacher in high school who was a big advocate of zero population growth. The idea is that the earth and it's resources are maxed out and we should limit population growth in order to help some of the problems the world faces.

I remember at the time thinking she had a good point. Now, honestly, the whole idea is laughable to me. Bringing a spirit inhabiting a body of flesh and bone to the earth is so much bigger than the problems that the world faces. It is a truly amazing experience that I can not describe properly. I can only say that I simply have a hard time imagining how something so pure and perfect could add to the world's problems.

Are there limited resources? Yes. But I believe that human kind has an amazing ability to find answers to questions that need answers, and solutions to problems that seem to have none.

Is the world full of evil and awful things, people and problems? Certainly. I have no illusions about me being a good mother. I see my many flaws. But I think that every child born who is raised with love and tenderness had an amazing ability to right some of the wrongs, and tip the scales on the side for good. The world may not need more "people" but it does need more "good people."

Any woman who contemplates her ability to mother as deeply as you have certainly has the ability to raise a good person that will make the world a better place to live.

Other Deep Thoughts-

Sometimes the things we fear doing or struggling with as mothers are things that we thought our own mothers did wrong. That is something to consider too as you decide if you are ready. Maybe you are ready, but you just really fear doing things to your children that were done to you.

Do you fear that you will have a hard time with those sacrifices and hassles because it seemed as though your mother did?

For me I remember as a child thinking that my mother was overwhelmed and unhappy. That has been one of my biggest worries as a mother, that my children will see me that way, that they will think that they caused trouble in my life and brought me unhappiness. This is one of the reasons that I feel a need to do things outside of my children (like my blog, teaching others, and community work) that bring me joy. I do not want to be a miserable housewife with no interests who resents her children, but at the same time I want to work within the walls of my home. Finding a balance where I can do both is delicate and difficult. But it can be found.

The idea of the miserable housewife is prevalent and persistent among the feminist movement today. As I read "The Feminine Mystique" by Betty Friedan, I remember thinking she was right about so much, but also wrong about so much.

It is possible to be happy and fulfilled as a homemaker. It is possible to give up things like a career without taking happy pills to fill the void. Women can find joy, purpose, direction, and meaning in their children and the work that involves children. Women can have and develop talents without working outside their home. We can also change the world, not just through our children, but through our own works. Sometimes motherhood opens up opportunities that we would not have had without it.

Be careful not to buy into the idea that the only good we can do and the only difference we can make and the most fun we can have is outside of the role of motherhood. It is a lie. It is also one of the blackest forms of misogyny. It is hatred not just for women, but for their special gifts.

Good luck in your journey to motherhood or not. Sometimes I look at women without children and envy some of their gifts, time, and freedom, but I know that some of them envy what I have too. Looking at what others can do or have that we cannot is natural. Finding the joy in the journey that we have chosen is divine.